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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to still feel bad about shaming this mum a month later?

120 replies

DevonCiderPunk · 22/07/2014 21:57

Perspective, please...

About a month ago I was at a beachside pub with some friends and our DCs. Lots of kids were splashing about at the water's edge mucking about together, me and friends were enjoying a (single!) glass of wine and chatting, occasionally looking over to all the kids playing about 5 metres away in the shallows.

Suddenly I heard a collective gasp go up around the whole beach. I looked behind me (towards the pub) and saw lots of shocked faces. Then I heard a child wailing, so looked back to the water and a boy aged about seven was standing waist-high in the water and sobbing, holding on to his arm. He continued to wail and everyone just sat there. He was holding his arm so painfully that I started to wonder whether it was broken, and he was still quite deep in the water. I looked about to see if anyone was claiming him, but no-one was. It was odd. So I said to my friends "well I'm checking it out" and walked down to the edge.

Once I got closer I could see he was okay and perhaps hamming it up a bit, I asked him if he was with any grown-ups and he just said "my mum..." and got out of the water, crying a bit less, presumably off to tell her about his arm. Nothing to worry about so I walked backp the beach to my spot. Hang on.
u

OP posts:

HaroldLloyd · 22/07/2014 23:04

You didn't do anything wrong but you have given me a RIGHT laugh so well done

Thenapoleonofcrime · 22/07/2014 23:09

I don't think you need feel bad, if the whole beach was shocked at her behaviour, then you didn't do wrong by wading in and getting the little boy out.

Original poster

DevonCiderPunk · 22/07/2014 23:53

Oh blimey, just caught up with the elementary punctuation lesson from JudysPriest. Well thanks a bloody bunch for shaming me in front of the whole beach when I was just messing about.

OP posts:

MiscellaneousAssortment · 23/07/2014 00:12

Child hurling or curling? Id like to see curling made into a summer sport.... Imagine brooms smoothing sand as child roly poleys down to the shore.

Disclaimer: I in no way think this is funny and am not sure what came over me

TheFairyCaravan · 23/07/2014 00:30

I'm trying so hard not to laugh so I don't wake DH, but I'm not doing very well. This thread is too funny!

WallyBantersJunkBox · 23/07/2014 00:36

I keep thinking of that scene in Alan Partridge where Michael tells him that he "hurled his monkey into the sea..."

Hobbes8 · 23/07/2014 00:51

I was thinking that, Wally.

Horrified voice - you threw a MONKEY in the SEA?

GreeboOgg · 23/07/2014 01:05

Wait, you're NOT supposed to throw children at the sea? I thought that's how they learnt to swim?!

I thought I was being helpful, but this might explain why I get funny looks from parents at the beach.

Coconutty · 23/07/2014 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

DevonCiderPunk · 23/07/2014 10:06

Coconutty I now have a mental picture of a small child leaping about shrieking "Chuck me in, Dad! Please, come on, Dad!" whilst Dad carefully consults tide timetable, sets up an anomometer and sweeps the sea bed with radar.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 23/07/2014 10:14

Is this one of those "comedy" AIBU where you're gonna reveal after 400 posts that you were talking about a mummy and baby seagull?

Original poster

DevonCiderPunk · 23/07/2014 10:26

No I genuinely wanted others' views. Unfortunately I made a terrible job of explaining it, and then my iPad imposed a three-paragraph limit on my OP (just as well really)

Still chuckling at the thought of javelin boy flying across the sky

OP posts:

Pumpkinpositive · 23/07/2014 10:37

I'm waiting to hear what OP did to shame Other Mother a month after the event.

OfaFrenchMind · 23/07/2014 10:39

I would not say YABU, you were really kind to the child, and he could have been in distress.

But I have fond memories of being a little sh*t when I was a kid at the beach, insisting on going to the beach, and when there, whining about not liking the water (I actually loved it, I just was being an annoying little girl :) )
My dad was a very loving man, but also very no-nonsense. He would pick me up, and throw me into the water (shallow water, and I swam very well). I would ham it up as if he was drowning me, then 5mn later, beg him to throw me again!
We still joke about it.

greeneggsandjam · 23/07/2014 10:41

You saw a child in distress in the sea. I think you were fine in what you did. She sounds a bit odd.

TattyDevine · 23/07/2014 10:46

I intervened once. I was getting a quote for new tyres and there was a child in a car nearby (door open, she'd opened it) crying her eyes out and wailing "Daddy". After a couple of minutes nobody appeared (this is while the bloke was looking at my tyre tread and sucking his teeth) so I ambled over there and she was quite distressed and it was very hot in the car. I said "shall we find your Daddy" and she looked so relieved. She looked about 8 or 9.

So I took the keys out his car (they were still in there for some reason) and locked it and we walked over to the shop and he was in there. I just said "she seemed distressed, sorry to interfere" and turned my attention away from them so didn't make a big deal out of it.

I was judging the feck out of him till I realised he was in there showing his CV and trying to arrange an interview for work - I can see now why he didn't want to bring her in there - and they were taking a little longer to see him than he'd anticipated. The girl was there because she'd been at the dentist, so perhaps he should have got her back to school first, but it was probably out there way and he was doing his best to find work.

I didn't feel bad though, because I was pretty discrete and at the end of the day I felt the child came first.

heidipi · 23/07/2014 10:54

Where is this pub 5 metres from the sea full of chatting mums drinking wine in the sunshine?

I WANT TO GO THERE NOW.

Sorry - what you did was fine.

Also assuming all usual household/childcare duties in closer proximity to the seaside is a brilliant description of the holiday I have just been on, only without the seaside.

MarchEliza · 23/07/2014 11:02

Oh I get it - the mum chucked the boy in the sea and he made a big fuss about it but the OP didn't see that, she only saw the fuss he was making and thought he was hurt. The mother of the boy thought that the OP was making a big fuss about her treatment of the boy and got cross and now the OP is wondering if she was wrong. - Am I right?? :)

I don't think YABU - the woman sounds ghastly.

SeymoreButts · 23/07/2014 11:24

Thing is, if it was a game gone wrong she would be comforting him. Throwing him so hard he hurt his arm and then ignoring it sounds abusive to me.

HaroldLloyd · 23/07/2014 12:26

That would be good saucy seagulls are bad enough without learning to squawk fuck off at you though.

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