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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to still feel bad about shaming this mum a month later?

120 replies

DevonCiderPunk · 22/07/2014 21:57

Perspective, please...

About a month ago I was at a beachside pub with some friends and our DCs. Lots of kids were splashing about at the water's edge mucking about together, me and friends were enjoying a (single!) glass of wine and chatting, occasionally looking over to all the kids playing about 5 metres away in the shallows.

Suddenly I heard a collective gasp go up around the whole beach. I looked behind me (towards the pub) and saw lots of shocked faces. Then I heard a child wailing, so looked back to the water and a boy aged about seven was standing waist-high in the water and sobbing, holding on to his arm. He continued to wail and everyone just sat there. He was holding his arm so painfully that I started to wonder whether it was broken, and he was still quite deep in the water. I looked about to see if anyone was claiming him, but no-one was. It was odd. So I said to my friends "well I'm checking it out" and walked down to the edge.

Once I got closer I could see he was okay and perhaps hamming it up a bit, I asked him if he was with any grown-ups and he just said "my mum..." and got out of the water, crying a bit less, presumably off to tell her about his arm. Nothing to worry about so I walked backp the beach to my spot. Hang on.
u

OP posts:
Icelollycraving · 22/07/2014 22:06

You made her cry? Good.

GretchenWiener · 22/07/2014 22:06

i have no idea what you are on about

does it matter a month later?

usualsuspectt · 22/07/2014 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

watchtower · 22/07/2014 22:06

Did you really need to ask? Really?

Why are you asking is it:

a) because you thought it was ok she threw him in the sea and feel bad about it? OR

b) because you know damn well everyone will tell you her behaviour was appalling and you were the hero of the day for intervening.

Which is it?

SingSongSlummy · 22/07/2014 22:07

DevonCider come back. (FYI I'm currently drinking large amounts of Dorset Cider which does not render one incapable of finishing a post).

Pico2 · 22/07/2014 22:07

It's not a great idea to throw children into the sea. Why are you bothered that you upset her?

lettertoherms · 22/07/2014 22:08

Don't beat yourself up. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you may have done more good than you thought- sounds like she's not coping, and had a bad moment, and maybe your actions helped her see that.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 22/07/2014 22:08

Well if that's the thanks you get....

I don't know, it doesn't sound to me like you "shamed" her.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 22/07/2014 22:08

Ywnbu

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 22/07/2014 22:08

She threw him in the sea, hurt his arm and made him cry and then wasn't checking he was ok?
Don't worry about shaming her

I mean I might throw my child in the sea as part of a game but if he then cried as he was hurt I would be the first there hoiking him out and checking he was ok so I don't know what her excuse is.

Catsmamma · 22/07/2014 22:08

how far had she thrown him so that she was nowhere to be seen while you took charge of the situation?

FidelineAndBombazine · 22/07/2014 22:08

She THREW him in the sea? And walked off? Or?

ANd after effing and jeffing at you for checking on apparently unaccomapanied son's welfare she was then crying?

Why do you feel bad exactly? I might have misunderstood but you weren't deliberately shaming her were you?

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease · 22/07/2014 22:08

No don't feel bad. She swore at you. If she was right behind you she could have explained he was alright.

evelynj · 22/07/2014 22:09

Wtf? Sounds like she deserved shaming. You didn't do anything wrong

KoalaDownUnder · 22/07/2014 22:09

What? It's even more confusing now it's finished.

How did his mum throw him in waist-deep water while she was on the beach? And how'd it hurt his arm? And how come everybody saw but you? And why do you feel bad?

nevergoogle · 22/07/2014 22:09

don't feel bad. you did what you did based on the information you had at the time. think about it, perhaps you should have done exactly the same even if you'd known his mother had thrown him in the sea (although realistically you may have done the same as everyone else and hope somebody else was brave enough to 'interfere').

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease · 22/07/2014 22:09

Yeah, how far did she throw him if you didn't see her coming back?

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease · 22/07/2014 22:10

How much wine??

SauvignonBlanche · 22/07/2014 22:10

Do you think YABU to still be dwelling on this a month later or do you think that your initial actions WBU, it's not clear? Confused

HaroldLloyd · 22/07/2014 22:12

She threw him in the sea, she thought you had seen her throw him in the sea and pointedly went to check, as you thought she was wrong to throw him in. He was crying and everyone was tutting at the mother that threw him in the sea, is this right?

It's a misunderstanding, but maybe she was crying as she realised throwing him in the sea was a pretty bat shit idea. And was embarrassed.

I am a little confused though.

LiberalLibertines · 22/07/2014 22:12

Erm ....yes all of ^^ those questions Confused

HaroldLloyd · 22/07/2014 22:12

I hope she didn't throw him in like a javelin from the pub! Grin

nevergoogle · 22/07/2014 22:12

It's not a great idea to throw children into the sea

I want THIS quote to be in the next mumsnet parenting book. Sound advice Grin

HaroldLloyd · 22/07/2014 22:13

Chapter one - don't throw them in the sea

chapter two - do not feed shit in a box

usualsuspectt · 22/07/2014 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.