to feel like a pauper on here

[FluffyPiggle]

Because I don't have a garden OR inheritance?!

No sunbathing in £50 notes while wearing half a bikini for me!!!

*meant to be taken in good humour ;)

Given the choice of the London flat and all the bling or living a modest life in Spain like elQuintoConyo, I would pick the quiet Spanish life every time.

That sounds lovely, Sign.

I think who ever said, do not spend too much time around those who have more than you has a good plan going on there for the short term.

Do you all feel the same about non posessions? Do you suffer from feeling inferior to others husbands, children, health, looks and things like that too?

I'm pretty average. Not a pauper; not rich. We ear about £50k as a family but pay £800 a month in childcare and are also busy paying off £10k of debt built up during three very recent very lean years when DH struggled to secure work. Our seven year old car was given to us by FIL and we can't afford a holiday this year. Again kind FIL to the 'rescue' as he is taking us to center parcs.

Almost all of my friends have much much bigger houses, always going on holiday etc. It can be hard not to feel inferior. I think it's unkind to assume all negative feelings that one may possess towards friends who are materially better off than you is simple jealousy - there is a lot to be said for the benefits of having at least some friends who are in similar circumstances to yourself. I confess I generally feel more relaxed when I'm socialising with people who have similar disposable income etc as there is no sense of embarrassment. Of course if friends are truly lovely they will never try to make you feel awkward - never dream of highlighting the disparity. I need to find some of those.

Despite my debt (which WILL be gone by spring 2016) my small house, old car and lack of holiday I do feel lucky. Because I am lucky. So very lucky and the sun is shining today and I have a little rose wine in the fridge.Comparison IS the thief if joy - and wise people probably don't encourage this by only socialising with the rich with on mn or in real life.

I have no inheritance but I do have a garden.

However, my house is really only big enough for one small hobbit, and I don't own it anyhows.

I don't really give much of a thought to big house and possessions, but I would like security in knowing I have somewhere longer term till the dc's finish school.

I'm in the middle. I bring in more than the minimum, I pay school fees for ds, live in a rented house with a garden and we go for weekends away in the summer. I started a new job in March so we're planning on doing this a little more and we're planning on going abroad over Christmas. I don't drive, wear (sale) Boden sometimes, I have designer clothes and handbags (also bought in sales), and we're members of the local (council) gym. I shop at Ocado and Abel and Cole, sometimes Waitrose when I can be bothered as it's not close. We had a nanny but she quit after 2 weeks as she couldn't manage three children (2 were her own). I don't consider myself as poor, I've never used a foodbank (touch wood) but at the moment I have 7p in my bank account (we went away last week). We always have enough food though and ds never goes without, we can eat out whenever but choose to do this rarely. I was poor though. After having ds I had nothing and my father used to send me money so that I could eat. I went back to University, got a degree and have worked my way up. There's been some tough patches but I look forward, not back.

There are people on here who earn very little, and some who earn loads. It doesn't mean anyone's problems are less important than anyone else's though.

My aim in life is to be rich and anonymous

There are two major extreams imo on here and I feel we also fall somewhere in the middle

we have a massive garden the wraps round three sides of our house, but it's rented.
we go a £6k holiday in vegas often but I don't take my dds on holiday as my dps take them 2/3 a year and I don't pay a penny.

we don't drive so no car,

we have savings but no where near what others have after I read a thread the other day, some have massive amounts.

we spend alot more on Christmas than what I read on here

dds go to state school not private

We dont have a nanny as I'm a sahm

I don't even know how to make a chicken into 7 meals a large feeds 5 of us for dinner no more

I am set to inherit a substantial amount of money at one point. Dh has no inheritance

I love all the different backgrounds and the way that you get a vast verity of opinons on subjects because of the difference in people's life's. Sometimes I feel poor on here, other well off. Swings and roundabouts

Stary be anything but jealous (although I know said in jest). I have a life limiting disability. Yes I guess my dh is doing well but I'd rather have holidayed in a b&b and been able to enjoy it fully. Guess that's what I meant about taking things for granted- we all do

I think it's easy to be jealous. I have a pal in large a 5 bed detached and I'm not jealous. She's been selling her daughter's clothes on facebook and her DH overcharges their friends for work he does around their houses. I don't think all is rosy on t'other side.

My life looks OK from the outside, but I'm a single mum with MS and ds is dyspraxic and they are not sure if he's on the autistic spectrum/HFA. Life's not always rosy in the middle either.

"Do you all feel the same about non posessions? Do you suffer from feeling inferior to others husbands, children, health, looks and things like that too?"

Naw, I've got no husbands nor children and I am, well, plain would be a kind term :D I'm not that bothered by the plainness, I've had thirty plus years to get used to it. Health is a relative business, none of us make it to the grave feeling fine.

Money is a different matter. I don't feel inferior to those with more money. I don't feel that in some way I am a bad person for not earning 100k. But there are massive disparities in society and redistribution of wealth would put a stop to it. Other things can't be fixed like that - I think legislation to force everyone to have handsome, successful husbands who are excellent in bed might win some support but be unworkable in practice (as well as being rather unfair on straight men and lesbians) and there is not a power on this earth that could make me even vaguely resemble Jennifer Lawrence. The kind of issue that means some people struggle along from day to day and miss meals so their kids get one and other people live in insane levels of luxury? Fixable.

We earn about 40k between us(I work 2 days per week) which is less than some friends and more than others so somewhere in the middle in my social circle in RL. We do have more disposable imcome than most friends as we don't have loans/debts or a hugr mortgage. When I come on here I feel like a pauper when people on here talk about nannies, cleaners, gardeners and holidau budgets!

We earn about 40k between us(I work 2 days per week) which is less than some friends and more than others so somewhere in the middle in my social circle in RL. We do have more disposable imcome than most friends as we don't have loans/debts or a hugr mortgage. When I come on here I feel like a pauper when people on here talk about nannies, cleaners, gardeners and holidau budgets!

We earn six figures but we live in a terraced house with tiny garden (central London). We are 'paupers' compared to lots of friends. We go camping once a year - we don't ski or have winter long haul breaks or send our kids to private schools. Some friends have huge houses and gardens and live outside London. All horses for courses etc etc. We made our choices wrt location and I know we are very privileged so I would be an absolute arse to feel hard done by.