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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel like a pauper on here

115 replies

FluffyPiggle · 22/07/2014 18:24

Because I don't have a garden OR inheritance?!

No sunbathing in £50 notes while wearing half a bikini for me!!!

*meant to be taken in good humour ;)

OP posts:
JimBobplusasprog · 22/07/2014 19:29

No inheritance or foreign holidays but can manage a week in a tent outside a youth hostel. No gym or nanny or expensive clothes. No tennis club. We do have a garden and 1 kid on a big bursary to private school - couldn't afford it otherwise.

WannabeMrsJoshHomme · 22/07/2014 19:29

obscene it is but christ, if I had it, I'd be on holiday as often as possible! and I would call it character building Wink

SignoraStronza · 22/07/2014 19:32

No inheritance here either but we have a garden quite a nice one too, as it's an ex council house in a nice village and no one else would touch it with a bargepole so the only one we could afford.

Haven't bothered to renew my passport or get one for dd2 as no liklihood of us going abroad any time soon thankfully I hate hot weather.

As for private school - we're obviously failing to make the right sacrifices Hmm which is what everyone on MN who really values their child's education has to do.

SirChenjin · 22/07/2014 19:51

Being able to afford private school is simply a matter of priorities Signora - didn't you know? If you swap from Waitrose to Aldi, and only have one holiday a year then it's perfectly doable. Apparently.

MrsSchadenfreude · 22/07/2014 19:58

I have a friend who has a lovely house and garden. She goes on holiday several times a year - this year she has been to Rio, the Caribbean and short breaks to Bruges and Paris. She's going to New York in September for a week, staying in a nice hotel, to do some shopping. Her children are at private schools. She has some lovely designer clothes, and a Chanel bag and a couple of Mulberries. And a set of Louis Vuitton luggage.

The reality is that she is in her 50s with an interest only mortgage. She has made enough on the house that she will be able to pay off the mortgage in 8 years when she retires, but nowhere near enough to buy somewhere else. She has no idea what she will do, and where she will live, when the time comes, and doesn't want to think about it.

Her ex husband's family pay the kids' school fees.

All the holidays go on credit cards. She has an overdraft of £5,000 (at least) and over £20,000 on credit cards. She has no idea how she is going to pay these off, as she takes home £1700 a month and over £800 of this goes on the mortgage.

So appearances can be very deceptive.

Frogisatwat · 22/07/2014 20:05

I have a garden. That's where my luxuries stop Grin

Azquilith · 22/07/2014 20:06

No garden, no holiday, but I can buy more than one chicken at a time.

MagicMojito · 22/07/2014 20:08

I turn dds dresses that have gotten too small/short into summer tops so I can save money Blush

We shop at aldi and I do the mumsnet chicken thing Grin , although I can only spread it across two days greedy fuckers that we are and have not had a holiday since 2010.

I like to live vicariously through those types of threads

MagicMojito · 22/07/2014 20:11

No garden, although we do have a yard! :)

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 22/07/2014 20:43

Yes, we do have a horrendous food bill and a pre uni 19 year old lurking on the sofa after his holiday in Maga Hmm

They're leeches I tell ya.!!

BrieAndChilli · 22/07/2014 20:54

Our holiday for 5 is costing £241 this year for a week with food and spending money on top but will only spend what we would spend at home on food and will try and do as much free stuff as possible. I don't think even a week in Disney world could cost £30000 does it?!
Unfortunately the kids school is full of people who have several holidays a year, older kids in private school, massive mansions and posh cars. I feel like a pauper ALL the time.
We have a garden but it's rented (as is the house) and its a right state as we can't afford to spend £££s on plants and nice decking and furniture etc.

misstiredbuthappy · 22/07/2014 21:05

I have a garden, housing acosiation house and a pool it was a tenner from asda Grin

Annd the only holidays I go on are with the help of The Sun holiday vouchers :)

misstiredbuthappy · 22/07/2014 21:06

*association

VitoCorleone · 22/07/2014 21:09

Yep, i feel the same at times.

I do have a garden, but i live in a council house, no financial help from anywhere, struggle to pay the bills. That's life though, i have big plans for my future

Trills · 22/07/2014 21:15

YAB unreasonable to "feel like a pauper" yes.

There are people on here from many different backgrounds and who have found themselves in a great variety of circumstances.

If you are feeling bad then perhaps it's a reflection on how well you deal with other people having different lives.

ICanSeeTheSun · 22/07/2014 21:20

I have a council house which has a front and back garden, but lots of gardening to be done.
No inheritance and I am always in my overdraft.

I am happy though.

Openup41 · 22/07/2014 21:24

Mn reminds me there are people living very comfortable lives;
Nannies/cleaners/gardeners
Beautiful homes
Brand new cars
Dc in private school
Long haul holidays several times a year
Designer clothes and bags
Eating out at nice restaurants often

We are on a fairly tight budget;
I shop at Lidl and 99p shop
We bring packed lunch to work
we bring packed lunch on all day trips
We only eat out on special occasions
Our dc do not attend dance/drama/ballet classes
Our car is 7 years old
During my ML I did very little - no coffee shops or baby classes

TheBogQueen · 22/07/2014 21:28

I remember reading a thread about mortgages and was absolutely gobsmacked at the number of people mortgage free! And also disapproving of anyone who has a large mortgage - like we have a choice.

TheBogQueen · 22/07/2014 21:30

It does feel sometimes like everyone has children private school and goes shopping all the time... Of course real life will tell you that things are not like that for the vast majority.

Mumsnet is an odd world

expatinscotland · 22/07/2014 21:32

No garden, live in HA flat, no chance of ever having a mortgage, live in poverty, meh. Plan to end my life if I make it to 60.

SirChenjin · 22/07/2014 21:34

Mumsnet is an odd world

Never a truer word spoken Grin

mrstiggy · 22/07/2014 21:37

Well I have a garden, and my mortgage is quite small. But my house is quite small with it and I have three kids in a two bed house. Smile We pay the bills with enough money to spend on shopping after but we only ever holiday in England in MILs tourer. We get by and I'm happy.
I bet most of us are just bumbling along in the middle tbh, I don't think mumsnet is that full of the uber-rich.

LapsedTwentysomething · 22/07/2014 21:40

I have a garden (I live in rural nowhere, it's boring but great!) If I inherit anything it will mean my DM's cancer has the better of her, so I hope I don't. We couldn't contemplate non-state schooling. Not even begin to. My DCousin's DCs will be privately schooled all the way, but my DH is a real father, hers is a cunt.

Be careful what you wish for, OP.

proseccoco · 22/07/2014 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morethanpotatoprints · 22/07/2014 21:46

I have never shopped at boden, but did have a small inheritance.
We have a small garden and dd will have the chance to go to a private school on 1005 bursary as we have a small income.
We are better off now than we used to be as we were as poor as church mice.
We still are compared to most on here, but I don't let it bother me.
I do go to travel and style & beauty as when they are talking about brands unless its as cheap as chips I don't recognise it anyway. Grin
Health and being content is important and I don't always buy into money buys you everything you need shit.