AIBU or is my Landlady?

[LLARGIES]

I live in a four bedroom flat share. We don't have a living room or anywhere where you could get in the way.

One shower, one toilet and one kitchen between 4 women (Land lady has her gf living here now fulltime so currently 5)

We all work except for her gf. She's foreign and can't speak English so sits in the house all day doing housework or cooking etc

I moved in a few months ago. I pay £630 a month for my room. On some weekends my bf tends to come and stay with me. Not every weekend as he works, but the ones when he is off. So in 3 months he has stayed 3 weekends.

We don't go into the kitchen we go out and eat and drink. He goes home and showers every day rather than use the shower here.

Friday night (my bedroom is above LLs) I got a text from LL saying she can't sleep because the noise on the floor? We were walking around a little bit, but not stomping even so, I sent back sorry lovely I will be quieter.

Roll on to this morning 11am my bf passed by (I'm on leave) came to chat to me in my room for 30 mins went toilet and went home.

Next thing I know I get another text from my LL saying:

Hi,
Please let me know when your bf will be in the flat and when he goes away so we are only girls and the night or in the morning we will move around any time
in the flat please don't forget that.

So I replied:

No thats ok he passed by for about 30mins went toilet and saw your gf. I don't understand why shes complaining (LL GF) though he wasnt in anyones way
and as always we stay in my room. Just so she knows I will be here all week.

I get this a girls house. I get that. I'd hate to make anyone feel uncomfortable about seeing my fully dressed bf going for a wee.

Like I said we don't use anything in the house we go out for food etc. Not in the way. I rent my room with good faith I don't get in anyones way. If I wish to have my bf over I shouldn't have to ask, should I? Last time I checked I paid rent and I wasn't living with my parents. He isn't over often at all if he was I'd get the issue here or even if he was hanging about first thing in the morning when people are getting ready for work etc. Starting to feel like I should maybe find a new place to rent. As I feel LL gf who I do like btw, but she is always here and always in the kitchen and it's her complaining! So AIBU or is she?

WTF are you apologising for? this is shocking! Get out of there now!

I'd go before you have to pay for the heating to be on all day to keep the GF warm

It's highly unlikely that the GF will have permission to work, or be able to obtain it. She doesn't speak any English? How long has she been in the UK?

She is being unreasonable. Find another place.

I'm not sure how long she's been here I doubt she has a European passport. I just wanted to keep the peace she sent back:

She was not scared she was ashamed that she is doing the will of the nails standing in the kitchen and then he was in the bathroom and saw her in the kitchen.

I still don't get wtf she's on about so I said will of the nails? And said he won't come back again and he won't because he feels totally unwelcome here and I would too if I were him. I can't really withhold rent as it's paid upfront rather than in arrears. She will give me my deposit I will take her to court I have texts etc to prove it

Right I got my translater app out and we kind of spoke. I said I don't understand why you would be ashamed about painting your nails lol she said no not my nails she was studying (English) so I guess I understand why she would be ashamed as I guess some people would be. I said I'm sorry if he made you jump or whatever by seeing him walk past. She seems fine. Although you never know she could be plotting my death in whihc case if you hear of a youngish woman in north london that got turned into a lampshade then please let my mother know!

I'd go before you have to pay for the heating to be on all day to keep the GF warm

Me too. I mentioned HMO licence simply because if LL is going to be so difficult with you, you might want to point out she's committing a serious offence. Not sure what the English penalty is but in Scotland can go up to £20,000.

No tenancy agreement. I wonder if she is actually declaring all that rental income to the taxman? She could get into a lot of trouble if someone were to report her...

Unfortunately for you tenancy deposit schemes don't apply to lodger situations. As there is no agreement with her you don't need to give any notice of when you want to move out.

Don't hand over a full month unless you know you'll be there all that time.

Get yourself a new room this week and pay her only what you intend to stay. She won't be able to claim anything from you, as she can't prove it.

Also mention HMRC as a further protection.

You have the time to do this if you act now, you hold all the power right now, but as soon as you hand over that month's rent she gets all the power.

Bet the mortgage company don't know either..

Hissy I have until the 7th to pay as I'm paid up until then. Thank God payday is this Friday. I'm looking and I'm getting the bf to look too. It's just so expensive around here. Rooms can go between 800-900 PM and it's not the nicest area in London either!

She's taking the piss. Find yourself another room! I know it's really hard getting into a decent flatshare in london but don't accept a crap loving condition just because it takes time and effort to find somewhere better.

Love the usual 'my god where are you paying £680 for a room comments'. If you have to ask, it's clearly london!

Get yourself a new room this week

I'm not on board with this - it's mega difficult to find a nice room in a nice flat share. You want to move into a nicer situation than you're currently in so it worth taking the time to sort out somewhere good.

Threaten to tell the council - in England you have to have a bathroom for every three occupants.

Op I live in London too, and I think that is expensive, especially for the area you are in, the lack of communal space, and a controlling live in landlady.

I would look for somewhere else asap. If you pm me I could recommend some friends who are looking for flatmates (and with rent far cheaper and communal space).

Time to leave I think. I live in london too. Expensive rent but for one room in a shared house yours seems a lot as you don't seem be able to relax.

Just read no tenancy agreement......suggest contact with cab. Did you give a deposit

This is on gumtree in Barnet

m.gumtree.com/p/roomshare/large-double-room-to-let-in-friendly-fun-house-share/1074185175

This sounds like the atmosphere you need, not some hung up nutter!

Where abouts do you work? Where do you need to get to?

Just to give you options..

www.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/london/holloway

www.gumtree.com/flatshare/holloway

Whilst LL is being a bit unreasonable, as a lodger OP has very few rights.

OP, as others have said, if you want the freedom to (reasonably) do what you want when you want, then you need a house/flat share as a tenant with no live in landlord.

Current LL can move in whoever she wants, it's her home so it's irrelevant that her gf is there fulltime.

How close to north London do you need to be? Is there not any leverage for moving a bit further out?

Thanks all. Fluffy I will mail you shortly. Rach I did I gave £430 or 450 I must check it was a deposit and a months rent up front, but I also gave a £200 holding deposit as I took the room when I viewed it. I will check as I have a record on my banking for everything. I was working in central, but I start a new job in a few weeks that will be in Collidale sprry I can't spell it! I'd rather stay in Islington I love it here.

Threaten to tell the council - in England you have to have a bathroom for every three occupants

Oh yeah really?? Link to that legislation please.

Talk to cab. Not sure but think you have to have deposit protected. If not ll in serious trouble but again not sure room rent...