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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my Landlady?

83 replies

LLARGIES · 21/07/2014 13:48

I live in a four bedroom flat share. We don't have a living room or anywhere where you could get in the way.

One shower, one toilet and one kitchen between 4 women (Land lady has her gf living here now fulltime so currently 5)

We all work except for her gf. She's foreign and can't speak English so sits in the house all day doing housework or cooking etc

I moved in a few months ago. I pay £630 a month for my room. On some weekends my bf tends to come and stay with me. Not every weekend as he works, but the ones when he is off. So in 3 months he has stayed 3 weekends.

We don't go into the kitchen we go out and eat and drink. He goes home and showers every day rather than use the shower here.

Friday night (my bedroom is above LLs) I got a text from LL saying she can't sleep because the noise on the floor? We were walking around a little bit, but not stomping even so, I sent back sorry lovely I will be quieter.

Roll on to this morning 11am my bf passed by (I'm on leave) came to chat to me in my room for 30 mins went toilet and went home.

Next thing I know I get another text from my LL saying:

Hi,
Please let me know when your bf will be in the flat and when he goes away so we are only girls and the night or in the morning we will move around any time
in the flat please don't forget that.

So I replied:

No thats ok he passed by for about 30mins went toilet and saw your gf. I don't understand why shes complaining (LL GF) though he wasnt in anyones way
and as always we stay in my room. Just so she knows I will be here all week.

I get this a girls house. I get that. I'd hate to make anyone feel uncomfortable about seeing my fully dressed bf going for a wee.

Like I said we don't use anything in the house we go out for food etc. Not in the way. I rent my room with good faith I don't get in anyones way. If I wish to have my bf over I shouldn't have to ask, should I? Last time I checked I paid rent and I wasn't living with my parents. He isn't over often at all if he was I'd get the issue here or even if he was hanging about first thing in the morning when people are getting ready for work etc. Starting to feel like I should maybe find a new place to rent. As I feel LL gf who I do like btw, but she is always here and always in the kitchen and it's her complaining! So AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
CoolCat2014 · 21/07/2014 14:34

Not having a tenancy agreement is the start of the problems IMO. If she hadn't said it's not allowed then I think it's unreasonable... However having lived in London I know it happens anyway (and caused me a hell of a lot of stress) and the rent doesn't surprise me, doesn't sound too bad for a nice room in a decent area with bills included.

I personally can understand that some ladies have problems with fear of men - I used to struggle with that big time, and could be where the real issue is, however if you are going to take on lodgers you need to tell them the ground rules in advance. I honestly think you'd be best off talking it through, but if it's an issue move on & look elsewhere.

msrisotto · 21/07/2014 14:36

I also rent a 3 bed semi for £45 more than what you are for a room. Not in London although commutable. That is madness. Surly you can do better???

Original poster
LLARGIES · 21/07/2014 14:42

If anyone can find me a 1 or 2 bed whatever for what I'm paying now just outside of London, I will take it right now! Even traveling from Watford is expensive. Looking about £200 per month. Then rent and bills. I just can't afford it. I have proof I gave her a deposit as that was the reference I used and everything is done by text and I have kept them. I will see what she says if I see her tonight. Coolcat I remember her friend telling me she hates men because they're so messy so she refuses to rent to males.

OP posts:
sarahquilt · 21/07/2014 14:45

My first reaction is that you're paying too much for a room in a shared flat. You could get a room in a shared house with a living room for cheaper if you look at a different area.

Original poster
LLARGIES · 21/07/2014 14:45

No need to wait I just got this reply:

Doesn't matter rebecca how long shes gonna stay we would like to now when your boyfriend is here or not, i just want to y to understand because normally just girls in the flat and i don't want nobody to be in the embarrassing situation, so let me know when his in the flat ok, otherwise if you not happy just give the notice ok thanks....

OP posts:
Original poster
LLARGIES · 21/07/2014 14:47

Sarah I need to be in north London. I'm quite shocked at her reply to me there.

OP posts:
KnackeredMuchly · 21/07/2014 14:48

I'm guessing your LL gf was a little under dressed and got surprised by your bf. I understand why she wants to know if there's a man in the house or not.

Tell her if her arrives for a quick visit he'll knock really loudly on the front door to announce himself and if he's staying overnight you'll send LL a text

DrDre · 21/07/2014 14:50

Just move. It's out of order to control who you have to come and visit you.

Original poster
LLARGIES · 21/07/2014 14:50

She was fully dressed I saw her too.And she saw when i opened the front door to him too so she was hardly surprised. Guess I will ignore her text and look for something else. Keep out her way until I do.

OP posts:
gymboywalton · 21/07/2014 14:54

www.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/flatshare_detail.pl?flatshare_id=3493623&search_id=182129352&city_id=&flatshare_type=offered&search_results=%2Fflatshare%2F%3Fsearch_id%3D182129352%26&

this is a bit more than you're paying now but you wouldn't have as much to pay for travle

BomChickaMeowMeow · 21/07/2014 14:54

Just text her next time he's about to come over.

TBH though her attitude would make me want to have a disco and loud sex next time he's over :)

Original poster
LLARGIES · 21/07/2014 15:00

haha chick I know I'd get a text message from her telling em to keep it quiet!. Should I bother to reply or not?

Thanks Gym. I need to be in north London for work so east, south and west are no good. This is stress I really could do without.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 21/07/2014 15:01

I agree you should find somewhere else. As your LL presumably owns the house I expect she can have who she likes staying there. It's not a good idea to have the landlady on the premises. But it's London. I wonder if your LL is paying tax on all the money she is coining in from those rentals.

gymboywalton · 21/07/2014 15:04

islington is north isn't it?

weatherall · 21/07/2014 15:12

A resident landlord only has to give you one weeks notice to leave. You don't have the rights of a 'normal' tenant.

Best to find somewhere else.

Frogisatwat · 21/07/2014 15:15

They look nice op! Go for it

Original poster
LLARGIES · 21/07/2014 15:15

Yes I saw east London and got scared lol thank you. Weatherall I think i will jump ship. I'm due on the 7th Aug to pay the rent. Lets hope she will give me back my deposit without any issues. I'm going to look at barnet, colildale and holloway

OP posts:
Frogisatwat · 21/07/2014 15:19

Id say just jump. Rent somewhere else and don'tpay August. Unless your deposit is in the deposit scheme you could have a nightmare getting it back. Someone will no doubt be along to tell me this is unethical but I see so much heartache over deposits and these are the registered ones!

starfishmummy · 21/07/2014 15:22

As a lodger sharing kitchen and bathroom facilities with the house owner a person has very few rights.
The op should be careful lest the landlady decides that she should leave as legally she doesn't need to give much notice

Original poster
LLARGIES · 21/07/2014 15:44

I texted back saying I do understand and I am sorry and hope her gf wasn't too scared he did only pop in but I will let her know next time

OP posts:
Hissy · 21/07/2014 15:45

She is a trained nurse in Brazil, but can she work over here and will she need a visa etc?

No, not unless she has a european passport. She can't speak English so what kind of job is she going to get?

She is having her partner LIVE there, your partner stays over, you said that you will have occasional visitors, but not on a regular basis, then tbh, that is all the 'notice' you need to give them.

WRT the reply, yes actually it DOES matter how long this additional person is going to stay (did she even ASK you if it was OK?) and YES there should be a reduction in bills as it's 5 people not the 4. It is not at all relevant if that person is earning or not, bills are split. The addition of another permanent and non working person to that household is hugely impactful on the PAYING tenants.

What deposit did you give her? how many weeks?

If I were you, I would leave asap and give her the rent minus your deposit. You won't get it back otherwise. You have no contract, she will deny all knowledge and you will be shafted.

Get onto Gumtree or something and move at the weekend.

be aware that you have NO rights here, the LL can and probably will turf you out with no notice whatsoever.

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