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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be glad that people find more things offensive these days?

159 replies

Goldmandra · 21/07/2014 12:24

This is inspired by a comment on another thread which implied that this is a bad thing.

Isn't it better that jokes about mental health, immigration, rape, etc, are seen as less socially acceptable than they used to be. I think it's a sign that our society is changing in a positive way.

Or is it PC gone mad? Confused

OP posts:
fifi669 · 21/07/2014 12:26

PC gone mad.

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:27

I agree Goldmandra

hazeyjane · 21/07/2014 12:31

YANBU.

To quote Morrissey (ahem)

'It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes guts to be
Gentle and kind'

I don't get the whole, 'gosh darn you can't say anything nowadays' schtick? Of course you can, just don't be an arsehole.

Branleuse · 21/07/2014 12:32

im offended by this thread

AnnieLobeseder · 21/07/2014 12:33

YANBU, OP, I agree absolutely. I still find plenty to laugh about, plenty of jokes and comedians who are funny without the jokes being at the expense of anyone else by putting them down. I think that people who get all huffy and think that "you can't laugh at anything any more" are either a) wankbadgers to like to laugh at those less fortunate than themselves or b) not particularly intelligent and so can't find humour in anything less that lowest common denominator.

I'm very pleased that society seems to be developing more a social conscience.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 21/07/2014 12:34

I'm with you OP. Being offended is the first step to things changing. If, at various points in history, no one in this country had been offended that women couldn't vote, or were paid less than men or that our children were lucky to make it to their 5th birthday, that would still be our reality.

TrevaronGirl · 21/07/2014 12:39

What "people"?

MaidOfStars · 21/07/2014 12:40

The word "offended" is fairly meaningless to me. I'd rather people were generally less "offended", on the whole. It's used to shut people up, rather than engage conversation/debate. I see it as lazy and, as a statement on its own, unfinished. If you are "offended", there will be a reason why, and that reason is what you should initiate conversation with, not the moan about being "offended".

Being offended is the first step to things changing. If, at various points in history, no one in this country had been offended that women couldn't vote, or were paid less than men or that our children were lucky to make it to their 5th birthday, that would still be our reality

Case in hand. Being "offended" isn't the driving force for change. Recognising unfairness and feeling able to be open and speak up for it is the driving force.

Take the statement: I'm offended that men still get paid more than women because women work equally hard and contribute in equally valuable ways to the productivity and economic success of a company.

Why not just say: Women work equally hard and contribute in equally valuable ways to the productivity and economic success of a company, therefore they should be paid the same as men.

The first phrase "I'm offended that men still get paid more than women" is completely unnecessary.

AnyFucker · 21/07/2014 12:40

Bring on the offended people !

I can't stand people who support bigotry, racism, sexism, any kind of "ism" by saying stuff like "can't you take a joke ?"

MrsWedgeAntilles · 21/07/2014 12:52

Maid, finding the unfairness offensive is the starting point for change. For centuries people acknowledged unfairness but were encouraged to accept their lot, often through the teachings of the church.
Its only when people found this set of circumstance offensive that something happened.

It appears to me that that's what you are saying here:

If you are "offended", there will be a reason why, and that reason is what you should initiate conversation with, not the moan about being "offended".

GodDamnBatman · 21/07/2014 13:11

They can be as offended as they like, so long as they don't sit there trying to impede free speech.

MaidOfStars · 21/07/2014 13:13

Maid, finding the unfairness offensive is the starting point for change

Hmm, I disagree, although it's probable that we don't have exactly the same idea of what "being offended" constitutes (who does?).

Finding the unfairness unfair and being able to vocalise that appropriately is, IMO, the starting point for change.

Claiming that the unfairness "offends" you is asking for change based on your own personal feelings (and may not, therefore, be shared by others), which I don't feel is a strong starting position for negotiation.

Example (for illustration, not to put words in your mouth):
Me: Job for job, women in my company should be paid the same as men, because that is fair. Anything less sends a message that my company does not value women equally.
You: Job for job, women in my company should be paid the same as men, because that is fair. Anything less sends a message that my company does not value women equally and that is offensive to me.

I don't really see what your final statement about you personally being offended adds to the assertion, if you see what I mean? If anything, I see it as an attempt to manipulate based on how society as a whole is apparently supposed to respond when someone claims to be offended i.e. by capitulating.

littlejohnnydory · 21/07/2014 13:14

Agree with you, OP.

Trapper · 21/07/2014 13:15

I am offended by Branleuce.

Pagwatch · 21/07/2014 13:17

Well it's just not straightforward really is it.
I think most people just trying to rub along without being a twat would be a start.

settingsitting · 21/07/2014 13:17

hmm. Depends how far it goes.

settingsitting · 21/07/2014 13:18

It can go all the way.
Which is a really big problem.

TheWholeOfTheSpoon · 21/07/2014 13:20

Depends. There's offended and then there is MN offended, which can be bloody stupid on occasion.

BomChickaMeowMeow · 21/07/2014 13:21

I agree, I think it's positive.

I have seen so many positive changes even since the 90s in attitudes. Though I think since then there has been a backlash against feminism - but again, in the last five years more people have been called out on anything from serious sexual abuse to verbal harassment - a real change. Still some way to go though.

Numanoid · 21/07/2014 13:22

It depends. I think PC has gone mad, definitely. I find a lot of things funny, but wouldn't tell a joke to someone if I thought it would offend them.

ApplebyMennym · 21/07/2014 13:26
BomChickaMeowMeow · 21/07/2014 13:33

A lot of times political correctness means anti unfair discrimination as well, it isn't just about people being offended, it's about changing society so that people are't stereotyped and discriminated against.

Andrewofgg · 21/07/2014 13:42

Is there a distinction between private conversation or any discussion where you know who is listening zed the public for?

In the first you should not say what will offend if it can be avoided and sometimes it can't be.

In the second, well, almost anything you say will offend somebody. Some years ago after the BNP won several council seats an MP called for "reconsideration" of the secret ballot. I was offended by that because he was as I thought spitting on the memory of the people who struggled for the ballot. But an MP who said that voters had the right to vote as they wished without fear of consequences might give offence to those whom the BNP would harm!

BomChickaMeowMeow · 21/07/2014 13:47

It doesn't go against the rules of political correctness to offend somebody.

Goldmandra · 21/07/2014 13:50

It doesn't go against the rules of political correctness to offend somebody.

Doesn't that depend how you do it?

OP posts: