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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this Mum was brave but not wrong!

102 replies

MammaTJ · 20/07/2014 22:46

DS went to a party today, He stated yesterday that he liked parties because of the party bags. I told him he might not get one, while fully expecting that he would, as is the norm due to social pressure.

At this party there was a disco, so DJ to be paid, and a bouncy castle on the lawn.

DS went to say thank you to the Mum and she said 'Sorry there are no party bags, as I think they are a waste of money'.

DS was upset coming away, but was told by DP to get over it as she is not wrong.

All the DC had had a lovely time playing and dancing and probably had a nicer time than they would have done if they had had party bags and no disco or bouncy castle.

I wonder if I will be so brave!

Will you?

AIBU to agree with this mum?

OP posts:

PastMidnightAgain · 20/07/2014 23:30

Just had kids' birthday party yesterday, and didn't do party bags. I had a lot of angst leading up to the event because of course I'd heard about party bags at other parties but DH (who is well against party bags) helped me stay strong. Hah. We might have gotten away with it because it was a party for three-year-olds (so maybe they aren't quite socialised yet?), and also neither I nor DH are British, so could have blamed the potential faux pas on our foreignness.

Lepaskilf · 20/07/2014 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wantsunshine · 20/07/2014 23:31

Party bags are great. Even as a seventies child we always got party bags. There doesn't have to be much in there even if it's a piece of cake and one random plastic thing it's perfect.

ICanSeeTheSun · 20/07/2014 23:37

I would rather a party bag over a bouncy castle.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 21/07/2014 00:38

Party bags didn't exist when I was a child and I suspect they won't when my DDs have children, I think plastic tat has had its day.

OscarWinningActress · 21/07/2014 00:47

They're an environmental disaster and when I am Queen I plan to abolish them.

DiaDuit · 21/07/2014 01:01

She's neither wrong nor right. It's a matter of opinion whether they're a waste of money or not. Parties, DJs and bouncey castles are a waste of money IMO. Am i right or wrong? Or is it down to personal preferences?

DiaDuit · 21/07/2014 01:03

I was working a long day in a hospital 22 miles away and telepathy is not my strong point!

I am quite sure it is clear from the OP she said it to DS!

Settle petal.

Molio · 21/07/2014 01:36

Quite. I'm still being side tracked by the long day in a hospital etc...............

NotBatman · 21/07/2014 01:49

Well, they might be a waste of money, but really you can get a few cheap (and cute!) plastic toys for very little. It's not expensive to make party bags for 12-15 kids. Having parties for more than 15 kids is a waste of money. There is no way you can possibly keep track of all those rambunctious children, and no way your child can socialize with all of them in the span of a few hours.

I will be going out of my way to avoid large parties for DD. She can invite a handful of friends and we will all go somewhere fun.

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 01:53

Another situation that children love where uptight adults arrogantly apply their values thus spoiling a bit of harmless fun.

Party bags are a PITA but kids love them and how many times realistically are you going to have to do it? Make the effort.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 21/07/2014 02:00

I hate them but the kids love them. Takes a few minutes to clear up the mess so not arsed if they do or don't get them but they have had them at every party they have been to so i wouldn't be surprised if they asked where they were when leaving.

[Shock] a live goldfish. That's ridiculous and i would have refused to accept it.

Mouthfulofquiz · 21/07/2014 03:00

A 'l

Mouthfulofquiz · 21/07/2014 03:01

Bugger!
A 'long day' is a double shift so 12+ hours on a ward probably...

WanderingAway · 21/07/2014 04:37

I was at a party recently and i hearda child asking about 3 times for a party bag. I thought that it was so rude. The child was 10 years old.

I dont do party bags coz i dont do parties.

differentnameforthis · 21/07/2014 04:46

Not brave, just has different priorities.

I like making party bags, doesn't have to cost that much & I don't include 'plastic tat' in the one I do.

Each to their own.

OwlCapone · 21/07/2014 06:01

They are not party bags, they are now fuck off home bags.

oohdaddypig · 21/07/2014 06:14

owl

It's the waste of plastic I detest. You get home and it is chucked away.

I might put in some foraged berries and pooh sticks into the next party bags.

Original poster

MammaTJ · 21/07/2014 06:25

They are not party bags, they are now fuck off home bags.

That is one way of looking at it!

OP posts:

Delphiniumsblue · 21/07/2014 06:27

I wouldn't call it brave! It is just an option. Mine were mainly to hold the cake with not much else.

lemonwelly · 21/07/2014 06:53

Ds1 birthday is beginning of Dec, I always give a small selection box instead of party bag. Kids always seem pleased.

A friend of minds kids are in April and she always gives a 1 Easter egg. Again no complaints.

JoeyMaynardsghost · 21/07/2014 08:01

I have seen parents carry out the DC party bag to leave a party whispering "well this little lots going straight in the bin"

Who got the party bag, the parent? It's for the CHILD so the CHILD carries their own stuff! If they don't carry it, they don't get to have it. Drives me mad when parents carry everything for their children.

Book bags, backpacks, pe bags, toys, even scooters when the child gets bored of scooting! Grr! You insisted on bringing it, now you look after it. Or don't bring it next time. Simple.

And a bloody party bag is for the child to carry and enjoy. No matter if its full of toot. It's the child's bag of toot, sweets, cake etc so let them have the pleasure of taking it home and playing with the stuff. You know most of it will be in the bin by tomorrow but let them have the fun today!

curiousgeorgie · 21/07/2014 08:12

Party bags are generally rubbish, but DC do seem to love them.

On a recent thread about party bags someone suggested sweetie cones to me and they went down a storm!

curiousgeorgie · 21/07/2014 08:12

So no, she wasn't wrong. This wouldn't bother me at all...

Chumhum · 21/07/2014 08:17

I used to get a couple of assorted books sets from the book people and give a book to each child and a bit of cake. Looking back that was a bit worthy, but worked out less expensive and I figured they might actually get some use of out if.

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