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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this as impressive as it is cheeky and naughty?

136 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 20/07/2014 19:07

I noticed dd1 was too tall for her bike earlier, so had a look about for second hand ones for her.

By chance I found someone selling as new bikes in dd1 and dd2's size. Dd2 was overjoyed. She wanted to know when she could get her new bike. She's always wanted a "new" bike but always gets dd1's cast offs. I told her tomorrow because I haven't been paid yet. She asked when I get paid. I told her when I could be bothered to go and get my wages.

She went out to play.

5 minutes later she was back clutching £30.

She'd taken it upon herself to go to my workplace, tell my boss I had sent her and asked him for my wages. They weren't ready yet, she said, so she asked if she could have just £30 of them because she thinks bikes must be about £30.

I'm unsure as to whether to be or or both.

Dd2 is 7.

OP posts:

MyFairyKing · 21/07/2014 10:22

It is dishonest. We're not saying that her DD is dishonest but it was not a wise decision to make. She's only 7 though which is why the parent should let them know it's wrong, which the OP did.

TheWorldAccordingToJC · 21/07/2014 10:24

I wouldn't care about the dishonesty or anything like that , I've got a naughty 7 year old myself. I'm not judging the little girl

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 10:27

She'll know it's dishonest when she's taught that. At the moment she is not being dishonest, she's being 7 and singleminded, she probably thought she was helping her Mum out. I don't know any 7 year olds that are particularly "wise".

MrsWinnibago · 21/07/2014 10:27

Good God what a little go-getter! I'd be shocked AND impressed.

Original poster

D0oinMeCleanin · 21/07/2014 13:18

She did think she was helping. She told me that. She didn't think she'd done anything wrong because she brought the money straight back. She didn't hide it or spend it or try and find a bike to buy herself, she brought it back immediately. She was gone for less than 5 minutes. She must have ran straight to my work and back.

She said she was trying to help me get the bikes quicker and being nice because I'd agreed to buy her a bike and she's never had her own bike before.

Dd2 is always very honest, the only problem we have with her is that she has no fear of anything inc. going and asking adults for money that does not belong to her. I don't think she realised she was being deceptive.

I normally get paid at some point on a Sunday night. I am never drunk on a Sunday night. Normally I am at work on Sunday night and get my own wages.

I won't be delaying getting the bike. The lady is in at dinner time tonight, we'll be getting a lift there, there are 2 bikes that would fit dd2 that she can choose from.

I talked to her about deceiving my boss (by allowing him to think I'd asked for the money) and about not being in the park when she said she was. She's said sorry to me (for wandering) and will be saying sorry to my boss and has promised not to do it again. That's the end of it as far as I am concerned.

OP posts:

Darksideofthemoon88 · 21/07/2014 13:24

I realise I'm coming to this late, but well done OP - I haven't read the full thread, but I have read your last post, and I think you've dealt with it perfectly . And I think your DD sounds like a very bright little girl! I'd have told her off and then had a right good laugh with DP if she was mine .

Original poster

D0oinMeCleanin · 21/07/2014 18:06

She has her bike. She's in the park learning to ride with no stabilisers. Will she bollocks let anyone help her. Any offers of help are met with a defiant "I can do it look! I'm doing it. See?!" Accompanied with a wobbly few inches before planting her feet on the floor, scooting a bit and repeating.

OP posts:

WaitMonkey · 21/07/2014 18:58

CuttedUpPear · 21/07/2014 19:23

That girl will go far

LewisNaiceHamilton · 21/07/2014 19:40

It's brilliant that she has the confidence to do this. She thought she was being helpful, and showed initiative.

Good for her :)

clarella · 21/07/2014 22:07

Honestly, she's a very clever and determined little girl. And to do that to get a bike - let's face it, rather a bike than another barbie/DVD/make up etc etc. and that bike will keep her occupied all summer! Go girl!

QueenTilly · 21/07/2014 22:23

Aww, sweet little girl!

I think what she did showed great single-mindedness and pro-activeness, and it wasn't dishonest.

She didn't lie. You said you'd get the bikes once you'd had time to collect your wages. So she did it for you!

If you're seven, collecting someone's wages for them could easily seem just like helping with the washing up, watering the plants or making space in a garage for a new bike!

MiscellaneousAssortment · 21/07/2014 22:58

Ahhh, I'm glad the little rascal is enjoying the bike

fluffymouse · 22/07/2014 00:13

That's pretty cute!

I predict my dd doing similar in a couple of years.

She is only 3 and already extremely devious.

Isabeller · 22/07/2014 00:20

Fabulous kid. Of course you were totally right to be a bit .

Make it a nice family story (but be really careful in future!).

mathanxiety · 22/07/2014 06:12

I'm sure your boss is still chuckling.

Make sure you get a lock for the bike. There is nothing sadder than a new bike disappearing.

mathanxiety · 22/07/2014 06:14

Don't embarrass her about this. I imagine she meant really well and probably felt wonderful and smart, putting the money in her pocket and going straight home.

But tell her that's the one and only time she is to do this as the boss can really only give you your pay on payday (or some such story)..

daisychain01 · 22/07/2014 06:38

The ultimate 'cool parenting' boast would be

"My DC7 occasionally does my shift for me when I've been a bit hungover"

ColdCottage · 22/07/2014 06:49

I think at 7 you should be praising her for using her initiative. There was a problem and she worked out how to solve it. However I would also explain why she shouldn't have done it (walking there alone, asking for someone else's money etc).

Please don't punish her for being resourceful and a creative thinker, these are skills she will go far in life will. At 7 she just needs to learn the boundaries. For example to explain her idea to you about asking for your wages early.

edamsavestheday · 22/07/2014 06:56

You are going to have to keep your wits about her with that one. How old is she?

I'd tell her off, but not too sternly - if dd1 goes to get your wages then she probably didn't realise it was a huge deal. Just make sure she must never do it again! And then I'd laugh and laugh and laugh and tell all my friends.

gertiegusset · 22/07/2014 09:36

I'd be furious, with her and with your boss for giving it to her.

StrawberryGashes · 22/07/2014 10:57

sometimes I think people on MN read what they want to see, just so they can be suitably outraged

This is one of the truest things ever said on here.

Topaz25 · 22/07/2014 15:25

Aw, reading the last post it sounds like her heart was in the right place if she was motivated by wanting to help you. I think you have handled it well, she understands it was inappropriate and won't do it again but you didn't overreact.

Floggingmolly · 22/07/2014 15:50

Apart from anything else, are you seriously ok with your children walking home with your wage packet in their hand??? What if they were mugged? Your boss is also breaking all kinds of regulations handing an employee's salary to her 7 year old, on the child's say so.
I'm shocked he did that, tbh.

Purplepoodle · 22/07/2014 15:58

I would be marching her back to work and make her hand the money back and apologise for lying then even if you are going to buy the bike I would withhold use for a week or some other punishment.

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