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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this as impressive as it is cheeky and naughty?

136 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 20/07/2014 19:07

I noticed dd1 was too tall for her bike earlier, so had a look about for second hand ones for her.

By chance I found someone selling as new bikes in dd1 and dd2's size. Dd2 was overjoyed. She wanted to know when she could get her new bike. She's always wanted a "new" bike but always gets dd1's cast offs. I told her tomorrow because I haven't been paid yet. She asked when I get paid. I told her when I could be bothered to go and get my wages.

She went out to play.

5 minutes later she was back clutching £30.

She'd taken it upon herself to go to my workplace, tell my boss I had sent her and asked him for my wages. They weren't ready yet, she said, so she asked if she could have just £30 of them because she thinks bikes must be about £30.

I'm unsure as to whether to be Shock or Angry or both.

Dd2 is 7.

OP posts:
Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 20/07/2014 19:31

Dd1 needs a new bike. Dd2 would normally just get dd1's old one, but because I have found someone selling 2 barely used bikes one in each size, I've told dd2 they can both have a new bike.

Dd2 wanted to know when. I said when I get my wages. She went to collect them without telling or asking me. My boss gave them to her but this could be because I have, in the past sent dd1 in to collect them, although never without telling him first that she will be coming for them. Dd2 has never been to collect my wages before.

OP posts:
DumDumDeeDay · 20/07/2014 19:32

That's fantastic op Grin

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2014 19:34

:o

She's certainly quick thinking!!

I'd be Blush but once she's in bed I'd laugh

TheWorldAccordingToJC · 20/07/2014 19:34

My 7 year old just wouldn't be able to do this - but then I'd never let him out my sight in this way ... Do you live next door to your work or something? Seems like a big thing for such a little girl to do

And I'd be furious and embarrassed

balancingfigure · 20/07/2014 19:51

I think it shows great initiative! Yes you might want to have a chat with her about not telling you where she's going but she shows great problem solving skills especially asking for an advance when your wages weren't ready.

I can imagine my 7 year old DD doing something similar!

WaitMonkey · 20/07/2014 19:55

I know it's bad, but I'm actually impressed with her. Grin

mommy2ash · 20/07/2014 20:31

I would be really angry she walked off without telling you where she was going but then my dd who is seven never goes anywhere without me.

NotBatman · 20/07/2014 20:48

Your Dd is clever but I wouldn't be impressed with employer giving your wages out on the say so of a seven year old.

DD = cute and adorable. But I'd lecture her to helping herself to your money.

Employer = Incredibly irresponsible. Can you imagine if she lost it on accident or spent it? You could say he still owes you because he didn't hand the money to you or on your say so.

deakymom · 20/07/2014 20:56

i can see the conflict i would tell her off wait for bedtime and lmao! then ask your employer not to give your 7 year old cash again (nicely) tell them why they might find it funny too x

youbethemummylion · 20/07/2014 20:56

I would be angry if my kids did this. But I also wouldnt have said I would get paid when I can be bothered I would have said when I go in tomorrow or something similar.

The reason she went is you made it sound to her like she couldnt have the bike today as your too lazy. So she took it upon herself to get things moving. I wouldnt be impressed by this I would be embarrased.

littleowl14 · 20/07/2014 20:58

To answer your specific question, I'd say it was very logical from her point of view. I think you could explain why it is a little cheeky to ask for your money and potentially dangerous to go off on her own - she's simply solved the problem she had before her not realising the wider issues and consequences. I'd be quite proud of her confidence and determination and even prouder if next time she understood wider social context and consequences and wrote a letter of complaint about unpaid wages Grin

Bearbehind · 20/07/2014 21:09

I've sent dd1 for my wages before, when I've been hungover

Hmm
Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 20/07/2014 21:13

Yes, sometimes I have a drink or 6 on a Saturday night and spend Sunday (pay day) in my jammies in front of the TV Shock

OP posts:
TwoInTheMourning · 20/07/2014 21:14

I'd like to know what you do for a living actually

JoeyMaynardsghost · 20/07/2014 21:17

What if someone had removed the wages from her hand? She was very naughty and so far out of line it's unreal! So you're going to give her a bike to reward her for lying?

Well done. Great.

I would make her wait until Christmas now.

Scarletohello · 20/07/2014 21:29

This is like something from the 1970s thread..! :)

TheWorldAccordingToJC · 20/07/2014 22:33

Yeah there's something very old school about sending a 7 year old to get your wages because you're too pissed to collect them yourself.

I bet you'd send her for your fags if you could

Dunno really. I'm judging you though

( and in my defence, you've invited judgement )

fawltydoge · 20/07/2014 22:39

I think I'd be secretly impressed but much more annoyed (with her and your boss).

Def a story to dine out on when she has her own kids though!

NotBatman · 20/07/2014 22:48

I would make her wait until Christmas now.

Yes, let's do an extreme punishment over what really is an innocent mistake with no real malice behind it outside of "Oh, mommy said I'd get a bike when she gets paid, I'll go help her get paid".

She didn't steal the money, or spend it on something else without permission. She delivered it to her mother.

If anything, the employer should be blamed for giving the child an advancement on her paycheck without checking with mum first. Clever as she is, a seven year old should never be able to collect money from a paycheck like that. I'm going to assume it's a close family, small town, type set up where everyone knows everyone for something like this to happen.

Punish the intention. She was impatient, left without permission, and yes lied. Make her lose desert or write an apology to the clerk for being deceptive.

Christ I feel bad for some of the MN kids with some of the extreme totalitarian attitudes on here sometimes.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 20/07/2014 22:50

I wouldn't be impressed with this. I'd be very annoyed at my employer for giving the money to a child without speaking to me. I'd be embarrassed at my child's behavior and angry. The bike would be put on hold.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 20/07/2014 22:52

Um when did I say I was too pissed to go get my wages or that I'd ever sent a 7yo for them? Confused

I didn't send her. She told me she was going to play in the park on her scooter.

Dd1 has gotten them once or twice, when we lived closer (as in a literally around the corner and 5 doors up, less than a 30 second walk) but never because I was drunk.

Y'know, sometimes I think people on MN read what they want to see, just so they can be suitably outraged Hmm

I've had a word with her about lying (to my boss) and leaving the park to go elsewhere without telling me. She understands what she did was wrong, but thought it would be okay, because she is usually allowed to my workplace without checking (usually I am there and she is coming from her Dad's house to see me at work) and wasn't going to steal my money, she was just collecting it for me so I didn't have to.

She put the money in her pocket while she was still in the shop so she didn't lose it and so no-one could see it.

OP posts:
MyFairyKing · 20/07/2014 23:01

I know that competitive relaxed parenting is a hobby for some MNers but I think this takes the mick. She was cheeky and I'd be really embarrassed. Don't you even want to know what she said to your boss?

MyFairyKing · 20/07/2014 23:02

Cross post!

missknows · 20/07/2014 23:08

I think it's brilliant. Some people need to learn to read better. She wasn't stealing the money she was collecting it!

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 20/07/2014 23:12

I asked her straight away what she said, when she came in waving £30 at me. She told me she'd said "Are my mam's wages ready yet because she is going to buy me a bike but needs her wages first?" He said "No, not yet, come back in half an hour" She said "Please is it okay if I just take £30 to her now because I think my bike is like £30 or something and I want to play out on it tonight?" He gave her it and told her to put it straight in her pocket so she didn't lose it. She did so, said thank you and left.

I've told her she has to go and say sorry to him for lying next time I am in.

OP posts:
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