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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this as impressive as it is cheeky and naughty?

136 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 20/07/2014 19:07

I noticed dd1 was too tall for her bike earlier, so had a look about for second hand ones for her.

By chance I found someone selling as new bikes in dd1 and dd2's size. Dd2 was overjoyed. She wanted to know when she could get her new bike. She's always wanted a "new" bike but always gets dd1's cast offs. I told her tomorrow because I haven't been paid yet. She asked when I get paid. I told her when I could be bothered to go and get my wages.

She went out to play.

5 minutes later she was back clutching £30.

She'd taken it upon herself to go to my workplace, tell my boss I had sent her and asked him for my wages. They weren't ready yet, she said, so she asked if she could have just £30 of them because she thinks bikes must be about £30.

I'm unsure as to whether to be Shock or Angry or both.

Dd2 is 7.

OP posts:
YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 21/07/2014 07:19

That is ace

LotsaTuddles · 21/07/2014 07:45
Grin

How smart of her. She had a problem and she solved it. there could have been a lot worse ways that she got the money.

Don't delay the giving of her bike, in her head she did the right thing (in her head) and thought she was helping you by collecting your wages for you.

It's definitely a story to keep for when she's older.

sashh · 21/07/2014 07:56

She will go far, clever girl. It think you have handled this perfectly.

GretchenWiener · 21/07/2014 07:57

Bloody weird. You drink sending a kid to collect money.

GretchenWiener · 21/07/2014 07:57

"Drunk "

CuttedUpPear · 21/07/2014 07:57

Impressive, and sweet.
It would make me Blush and Grin

Please ignore the posters calling your DD dishonest, how unpleasant of them.

BellaVita · 21/07/2014 07:58

I would call it enterprise. This is exactly like something DS2 would do

GretchenWiener · 21/07/2014 08:04

It's rather hogarthian. Kid blows money from drunken mothers wages. Maybe on gin

plinkyplonks · 21/07/2014 08:09

Kind of an evil genius all wrapped up into one! Mind you - it shows great problem solving - she wants a bike, you don't have your wages. Therefore, if she gets your wages, she will then get her bike... :D TBH a bit bad of your boss to give a child that amount of money though or any of your wages :D

JoeyMaynardsghost · 21/07/2014 08:15

Keep on with those over reactions and uptight attitudes and don't expect your older children/teenagers to trust you and feel able to approach you as they get older will you? Because they won't

My daughter is now an adult and talks to me about anything and everything. She trusts me and I trust her as I have brought her up properly.

Which has not included letting my child lie to my employer so she's given my wages for whatever purpose.

Her friends also come to me for advice when they can't talk to their own parents and have done so right from early teens.

EveDallasRetd · 21/07/2014 08:20

That's ace, although I've always been rather impressed by your stories of your daughters. They seem very worldly wise, logical and inventive. I like kids like that.

My only issue would be that she didn't tell you where she was going. My DD has lots of freedom, far more than her friends, but she knows I'll curtail that freedom if she goes off somewhere else without telling/asking me. I suppose it's only down the road from you though, so understandable.

(Oh, but make sure she knows how much the bike is when you get it - never too young to learn)

fknfamilies · 21/07/2014 08:55

Does anyone know if xbox live membership ever goes on offer and can anyone recommend a good xbox live headset?
Tia

fknfamilies · 21/07/2014 08:55

Wrong thread sorry.

CelibacyCakeAndElevatorMuzac · 21/07/2014 09:05

Hahahaha ! Not at the situation but at the absolute numpties clutching their pearls at a mum having a hangover.

Double laughs for those deciding that OP was too drunk to collect the wages.

Absolutely hilarious. Pillocks.

whatsagoodusername · 21/07/2014 09:18

She sounds brilliant and full of initiative. Grin

Of course she needs telling off and an explanation as to why what she did was wrong, but I think she'll do well.

SaucyJack · 21/07/2014 09:30

If my 'caring parental cage' means my seven year old isn't wandering the streets without my knowledge or permission, lying to people to get money or walking about with large amounts of MY money in her pocket then I'm perfectly happy with that thankyouverymuch.

I wouldn't have been angry with her- more shocked- and upset that I'd brought her up in a way that had led her to think it was appropriate behaviour. And I've got a fucking fantastic sense of humour but I certainly wouldn't have found it funny in the slightest.

TheWorldAccordingToJC · 21/07/2014 09:30

I'm not a pearl clutcher and I also have a 16 year old daughter who'd probably describe me as laid back. she still speaks to me anyway Wink Wink

I can't help but let the past history with this poster and her abusive ex cloud my judgement - maybe if I was reading it as a one off I'd view it differently. dunno

I do accept that we all have different standards when it comes to bringing up our kids though. op put it out there to be judged so that's what we all did

TheWorldAccordingToJC · 21/07/2014 09:32

and you had no idea where your 7 year old was.

I'm happy to be a pillock in that case because I always know where mine is. and it's not usually collecting my wages because he knows I can't afford to buy a bike

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 09:45

"I would be more shocked and upset that I had brought her up in such a way that led her to think this was appropriate behaviour"

She's 7. She hasn't been "brought up" yet. This incident is one step on the road to bringing up. The OP will, no doubt, respond appropriately and her dd will know not to do such a thing again.

MyFairyKing · 21/07/2014 09:58

Now reading back, I do wonder how differently this thread would have gone if it had been a new poster.

SaucyJack · 21/07/2014 10:01

Yes, seven- not two. My middle child is seven and she would absolutely know the difference between me saying we'll buy something later when I've got cash out for it, and me explicitly saying take my bank card out of my bag without my permission and go to the cash point to get MY money when you've told me you'll be playing outside (which would be an equiv. situation for us)

I wouldn't say she'd never dream of it- as I'm sure she sits up at night dreaming of nothing more than living in the kind of household where behaviour like that gets you bought expensive new toys- but she would DAMN well know it was wrong.

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 10:02

Let me reassure you that I answer genuinely on every thread I am on because I don't care how long a poster is on here, I don't really recognise names as "regulars".

TheWorldAccordingToJC · 21/07/2014 10:06

but when a poster has a history of making poor decisions re their children and have posted many times about their emotional abuse by their father it's really hard to just see this as a slightly amusing one off isn't it?

its just plain weird

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 10:12

Really? Well I honestly didn't link that up. Even with that I mind though I still think calling a 7 year old dishonest and punishing for what is described in this particular thread is inappropriate and over the top.

HayDayQueen · 21/07/2014 10:14

Lie? She didn't actually LIE, did she? She said her mum needed the money to buy the bikes - true. She said she thought £30 was probably enough - in her mind true. She DIDN'T say 'my mum sent me to get the money' - which would be a lie.

Its a lovely little grey area which she's snuck into!!! (little cheeky chops!)

It's time for the 'lying by omission' talk though OP!!!!