Can i leave my spoilt dc at home

[Lestagirl]

Due to goves policies on school attendance we've had to lower our sights on holiday. We got away this year on the fact it was pre booked prior to the rule changes.

So we've booked a cheap deal to Spain next year and they are kicking up a fuss, I want to leave them behind. Ungrateful sods.

Tell them they have a choice of not going and staying in the UK being supervised by someone you trust, or going with you and not whinging. If they do whinge, there will be no holiday the following year.

Tell them they can come or they can stay with [insert name of boring strict relative] and that in future if they want to choose their holiday they can pay for it.

I am Spanish. And if someone was going to take me to Benidorm of all places, I'd also rather stay home :P.

There are so many absolutely awesome places to visit in Spain... why British people still insist in taking children to tacky, Brit-full, utterly un-Spanish places like Benidorm, Ibiza and Mallorca is beyond me...

Where do you suggest, out of interest, aurynne? That's similar to Benidorm in affordability?

Yep, any family who'll not let htem do anything fun you can dump them leave them with for the week? Then see if the holiday company will let you transfer your booking to a posher one for just the 2 of you?

Benidorm must be one of the most expensive places to stay, so anywhere else will be better affordability-wise. Where to go depends very much of what your style of holiday is. If you like adventure, hiking and nature, the North West is amazing. Doing the Camino de Santiago (caminoways.com/) is mind-blowing. Hiking the mountains of the Picos de Europa is an experience you will not forget (chack this: online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303908804579566310546254896). If you have little ones, you can stay in a rural house in Asturias, Cantabria or the Basque country (check here: www.casasrurales.com/).

If you really like the sun and the beach, you can avoid the massively overpopulated beaches of Benidorm and drive up the coast 30-40km and will find absolute paradises for a fourth of the price, real Spanish food and atmosphere (that said, speaking a couple of words in Spanish would help). Valencia and many places in Catalonia are stunning and cost nothing... but as I said, keep away from "touristy" places.

If you like history, visit Toledo, Segovia, Salamanca, Sevilla or Granada, and you will be amazed by the architecture, ancient universities and the beautiful old part of town. Avoid restaurants where you can hear people speaking non-Spanish languages, because they will be the ones where the food is NOT Spanish and will be ridiculously overpriced. Dare to go into small bars and restaurants which look old and ragged, but will be serving truly Spanish food at a fraction of the price. Ask locals for the best place to eat, the best hikes to make and the best places to relax, instead of asking other British people. Adapt to Spanish times: have breakfast after 10 am, lunch at 2:30 pm and dinner at 9:30 pm and you'll have a much better chance to meet real locals and find truly Spanish restaurants. If it's open for dinner before 9 pm, it is not real Spanish.

If you like a bit of everything, rent a car and just drive around... get lost, explore small villages and talk to the locals. Try hard to show respect and interest for the language, respect the local culture, and you will be respected too. Show interest, and locals will show you the most amazing places, will invite you into their houses.

Aurynne - people take their families there because it's cheap. There are cheap flights and cheap hotels.

some people like that "blackpool with sunshine" feeling, most people just like a holiday they can afford.

Oh, and if you want a bit of everything in one city, try Barcelona... but avoid the guided tours: walk it, bike it, explore, trust yourself and forget the Lonely Planet.

Mary, good for them, but please don't fool yourself that you have gone to "Spain".

Aurynne - x posts - while booking directly, places like Benidorm aren't cheap, there are packages that are very cheap, flights, transfer and hotel for 4 for less than a grand is pretty much impossible to sort out in school holidays without using a travel company and going somewhere far from 'glamorous'.

And they may sell the holiday package as "cheap hotels" but believe me, any Spaniard would be horrified at the prices. You can holiday much cheaper if you get out of your comfort zone and book yourself in small hotels and B&Bs which are not on the British travel agent's pages, but run by and for locals. That's where you need to show respect, and interest, and make Spanish friends.

Mary, I was living in Spain for 26 years and in the UK for 4... I saw the "packages" my workmates were sold. And I laughed.

Benidorm is a depressing shithole.
We love the Costa Blanca, pick up a hire car at Alicante airport, shudder as we pass the concrete jungle of benidorm, then go somewhere like Moraira instead: beautiful, much quieter beaches, very few tacky all day brekkie bars full of pissed up Brits!

You could suggest that you use the resort as a base to explore the surrounding area so they don't need to spend time in Benidorn if they dont want to. Lots o things to do in the surrounding areas.

www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attractions-g1064230-Activities-Alicante_Costa_Blanca_Alicante_Province_Valencian_Country.html

Ungrateful brats!

For the record, I've not been to benidorm, but i'm lucky that I have upto now been able to go in term time, from next year that's not going to be an option and the £2k holiday we went on a couple of weeks ago would cost £5k in school holidays next year (including that DC2 will be old enough to need a seat on the plane next year), I just can't afford that. So we will be looking at a choice between 'no holiday' and 'cheap holiday' - and yes, I know that £2.5k is a huge budget each year, most people have a lot less to spend.

For a lot of people, their holiday is just sun, sand, a pool and eating in the hotel, or in a handful of restaurants walking distance from the hotel. It's not really experiencing the local culture, just having a break and some time together with sunshine. That could be anywhere in the world.

It's easy to say "If I could only go somewhere like Benidorm, I'd not go on holiday" (particularly if you live in a nice part of the world where a 'staycation' would be lovely) but for a lot of families, that really would be the choice for the rest of their lives, never go on a family holiday or do a cheap&cheerful one.

I went to Benidorm in the early 90s (met up with my English boyfriend who was working there while I did a TEFL course in Barcelona). Yes, Benidorm was tacky and could be the stuff of nightmares ... I think though, what people who advise the "real Spain" are forgetting is

1. car hire to explore the countryside and get to less touristy places can easily double the price of a holiday, meaning even with dirt cheap hotels and food it is out of budget
2. not everyone is brave enough to go to places where people might not speak English - for some that would be terrifying, and not a holiday
3. City breaks work out very expensive for a whole family for a proper holiday rather than a weekend
4. a lot of people just want down time to read and relax on holiday, not the work of making friends and getting invited into people's homes - lovely as that may well be, a lot of people like to relax in their own private bubble on holiday, the cultural exchange isn't appealing to eveyone - and even some people who enjoy that don't ALWAYS want to work that hard on holiday.

If you can, arrange for them to stay with a dull/strict relative for the week, then casually ask if they're sure they don't want go to benidorm.
If they say no, smile brightly and let them know that they don't have to and that you might bring them back a present.

I would be raging!

Sorry, I am re-reading my messages and realise they have this paternalistic tone. I understand what you are saying Mary, and I agree there must be people who like these kind of places. In a way it's a reaction from hearing so many times that Spain is just "Benidorm, Mallorca and Ibiza" for so many British people, who truly believe Spaniards love spending time in a beach so crowded that you just know you're in the water when your feet feel wet. I realise I am projecting and that this is my issue. But it is really such a pity that all that many British people know about my country are those places. Please check the expression on the face of any Spaniard when you mention you're holidaying in Benidorm... if you get a single one which does not show horror or revulsion, I will pay for your next holiday.

While I completely agree with aurynne, if the OP has already booked her holiday and made a deposit, then there's not a lot she can do about it.

Though, OP, cheeky as it is to ask, what is the total price of your holiday and what deposit have you paid?

Did you seriously consider any other destinations + airbnb?

MrTumbles: "2) not everyone is brave enough to go to places where people might not speak English - for some that would be terrifying, and not a holiday"

This is a real pity then, because they truly don't know how easy it is to get by even without knowing the language (and how fast one can learn some basic words and phrases). Other Europeans do this all the time. My DH and I went to Japan and travelled to the tiniest villages lost in the mountains where no one had ever seen a Westerner before. And we don't speak a word in Japanese (well, we do now, we did learn some while we were there). My auntie is 70 and travels all around the World... she just speaks Spanish and a couple of words in French. I do encourage you to try, and to please break the "why would I need to learn another language when I can get by in English" mentality. It really limits your experiences.

Blah - yes aurynne it may be a pity. I'm British and have always had itchy feet, lived and worked in India when I was 18, Japan at 21 (where I was the only white person and had people follow me about the supermarket, my students knew more about my life than I did as their cousin might have seen me in a cafe and reported back etc.) I moved to rural Bavaria 6 months pregnant, with a toddler and limited German 7 years ago and am still here).

The fact remains that people are not all the same, and some would not enjoy a holiday where they would be worrying all the time.

MrTumbles, you don't need to know the language to have fun in the vast majority of places. Do you think that the squillions of backpackers who spend weeks or months in India ever learn a single word of Hindi, never mind the local languages? Nor do you need to be invited into local homes (do people do this?) to enjoy visiting somewhere beyond Dover. I don't have much sympathy for people who are intimidated by travel, especially in this age of iphones etc. where you can find your way out of the deepest souk with Google Maps or find the best rated beach bar in Ko Chang with about 25p worth of roaming charges.

On the other hand, Aurynne, I think you're being a bit mean and patronising. We get it - you don't like Benidorm.

Its not uniquely British either - many "country folk" where I live now would never go on holiday anywhere they couldn't rely on German and maybe school English. Most Japanese only ever leave Japan once, usually on honeymoon, when they do a package tour of Europe's key sites in 10 days (at least that was true 20 years ago).

NotYouNaanBread you're right, I do apologise. But just imagine for a second that, every time someone spoke about the UK, they would only mention Blackpool and held it as an example of the whole country...

NotYou you don't have to persuade me - but the fact remains backpackers are not representative of their country's wider population - I know, I did it myself, a couple of times. Millions of people do it, but tens of millions more would rather pull their own toenails out. People don't all have to like the same thing, and if they are intimidated by independant travel there is actually no need for them to spend their money and holiday allowance doung something they won't feel comfortable with, if they'd rather lie on a crowded beach listening to English spoken, as long as they are doing no harm why should anyone tell them they sre holidaying "wrong".