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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can i leave my spoilt dc at home

135 replies

Lestagirl · 18/07/2014 23:04

Due to goves policies on school attendance we've had to lower our sights on holiday. We got away this year on the fact it was pre booked prior to the rule changes.

So we've booked a cheap deal to Spain next year and they are kicking up a fuss, I want to leave them behind. Ungrateful sods.

OP posts:
Caff2 · 19/07/2014 00:47

It's totally odd to me. my 14 year old has never been abroad. My two year old hasn't yet left the middle of England. I can't get my head round your "problem".

Lestagirl · 19/07/2014 00:54

My problem is that they don't appreciate how lucky they are.

In leicestershire we are lucky we get one cheap week a year that we can go away. We can do sunshine for the same as uk. They are moaning that it's not they want.

I'm ranting.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 19/07/2014 00:57

Whats so odd about it? Confused

OP takes her kids away on holiday, lots of people do.

You don't take your kids away on holiday Caff is it ok if I say I think that is "odd"?

Only1scoop · 19/07/2014 01:01

So it's because it's Benidorm....??

Do they think 'Madge' is going to appear and knock them over with her mobility scooter??Grin

BertieBotts · 19/07/2014 01:06

If you leave them then they'll probably think that's even better - free rein for parties etc.

Take them and then make some kind of deal with them that they're not allowed to have fun. You'll probably end up having a great time and they'll realise it's not always about flashy expensive destinations, it's about what you choose to do while you're there.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/07/2014 01:10

Any really boring, strict relations you could leave them with?

Happy36 · 19/07/2014 01:11

It sounds like you need to leave the kids at home for the day with a list of chores to finish while Mum goes and has a few treats, they don´t have to be expensive, perhaps take yourself off for a relaxing walk in the "countryside" with a tasty homemade picnic and your phone switched off! Take a book or a magazine or your iPod with something to listen to.

Tell them it´s Spain "pues nada" (meaning "or nothing").

I hate to be a pedant but the root of this is not Gove´s policy on school attendance but the holiday companies´ shameless behaviour in raising prices extortionately during school holidays (and the government´s failure to regulate this).

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/07/2014 07:21

I sympathise OP. They sound very ungrateful. Maybe price up the additional cost of what they want and see if they'd like to pay it. A friend of ours has always given his teenage children the option of going on a family holiday or physical gifts for Christmas.

diddl · 19/07/2014 07:37

Can I come?

Haven't had a holiday for years.

Our money goes on visiting family in UK-we are in Germany.

greenfolder · 19/07/2014 07:42

if you can make arrangements for them to stay elsewhere, leave them here. nothing more tiresome than dragging reluctant teens anywhere. or point out that you and dh could afford to go somewhere great if it wasnt for them!

sewingandcakes · 19/07/2014 07:44

I'd just ignore their protests and go anyway. Don't give their snobbery any attention. Have fun!

We've been in the uk for all our holidays since the kids were born, mostly camping (in Wales too) and loved it! I do want to go somewhere different though next year; expose them to different foods and cultures.

PicardyThird · 19/07/2014 07:46

If my kids (quite a bit younger than yours) dared to complain that our holiday destinations - which are lovely but nothing spectacular by most people's measures, I guess - were not good enough for them, I would be cancelling all fun forthwith until they appreciated how lucky they are. They know this, though, because we come down hard on snobbish/spoilt whinges.

shockinglybadteacher · 19/07/2014 07:51

Take me, Lestagirl! I've not been abroad in years. I can hide in a suitcase. I'd also love to see Benidorm! Grin

They are doing the thing that age does so well, which is being brats. If you take them they will spend the first day moaning and flouncing about, the second day secretly enjoying it and the third day fully participating like a normal person. It's a pain in the arse, but you can use it to rip the piss out of them in later years...;)

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 19/07/2014 07:52

Are they possibly now at an age where they just don't want to go on holiday with their parents at all... I know age 15 was the age when I spent my summer working to save up to go and visit a friend who had moved abroad by myself, instead of holidaying with my parents...

ExcuseTypos · 19/07/2014 07:58

Am I the only one who, having watched a few documentaries about Benidorm, wouldn't want to go either? Sorry OP but maybe they have a skewed idea of it- like I probably do.

youbethemummylion · 19/07/2014 08:03

I would tell them your budget give them the laptop and see if they can do any better. They need to learn the value of money. My 4 year old recently announced I could buy his birthday present in Poundland so we had more pennies to spend on our holiday. I dont think its ever too early for kids to understand about budgeting and prioritising spending. It stops them being spoilt and entitled.

Ememem84 · 19/07/2014 08:07

We went to benidorm last year. We had some days left and booked a last minute trip. Looking at deals online I fancied a lovely Caribbean resort (you know the kind, white sand cocktails luxury etc). Dh just wanted sun and put his foot down as benidorm was cheaper less travel time etc. I moaned all the lead up to the holiday because I had preconceptions of benidorm. How wrong I was.

Hotel was lovely. Food was great. Town was brilliant ( yes bars and clubs and English pubs- but also cute Spanish tapas bars, and restaurants. Loved it. Would deff go back for a short break

3littlefrogs · 19/07/2014 08:08

I worked in a shop every summer from the age of 14.
That was my summer holiday.

I don't know what to suggest OP. I would be very tempted to leave them behind and go on my own.
They sound very ungrateful. Sad

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 19/07/2014 08:12

Seriously though - do 15 year olds want to holiday with their parents? Is there somenody they could stay with while you are away? Are you all going to be sharing a family room?

fuzzpig · 19/07/2014 08:16

Any really boring, strict relations you could leave them with?

THIS!

Ungrateful wotsits.

Ragwort · 19/07/2014 08:17

I find it strange that so many teens go on holidays with their parents these days - when I was that sort of age (in the 70s Grin) I wouldn't have wanted to be seen with my parents. I used to stay with my grandparents.

I have a teen myself now and quite honestly finding a holiday we would all enjoy is a nightmare - so we are not having one this year. I shall have a few days of sunshine with a girl friend in term time early next year Smile.

But your DD's attitude sounds horrendous, just make it clear to them that this is the last family holiday.

fuzzpig · 19/07/2014 08:17

Oh and since you'll have spare room when you leave them behind, you can take me instead yes? :o

longtallsally2 · 19/07/2014 08:18

They have seen the worst side of Benidorm on TV. The name itself has become a reference for the worst sort of British made holiday resort, and they are probably dreading getting some stick from their friends. Plus they are teenagers who are getting to the age when going on holiday with parents isn't cool.

But they don't know, as Enemem says, that Benidorm can be really nice. Help them manage their expectations. Tell them to tell friends they are going to holiday "near Alicante" - it's true, they are.

And don't cancel your holiday. If you have relatives that they can go to then tell them that you are going there this time and that they can either come or stay with gran whilst you and dh drink cocktails by the pool.

They will come around and will, in all probability enjoy it, and have learned a valuable lesson.

Musicaltheatremum · 19/07/2014 08:24

I didn't want to go with my parents when I was a teen in the late 70s but I have a totally different relationship with my children (18 &21) and the 3 of us are going away in August and will enjoy it.

One of my staff at work is taking her young children away for the first time ever (eldest 10) they are only going a couple of hours down the road but she has saved and saved to do it and they don't know they're going yet. She's so excited about it.

If I was the OP I would probably remind them how lucky they are and then ignore. It's a long time until next summer.

ExcuseTypos · 19/07/2014 08:37

This is the first year we haven't gone on holiday with our DDs- they are 20 and 23. We have a lovely time, I don't know why people would think that is odd.

They are both having holidays with friends so DH and I decided we would go on our own. They were both really put out that we aren't having a family holiday. I wouldn't have been like this with my parents but I'm quite chuffed that our DDs enjoy their parents' company so much.