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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Spending the summer at our summer house in Sweden whilst signed off sick?

76 replies

zeezeek · 18/07/2014 19:36

A few weeks ago DDs and I were in a fairly serious RTA. They are (thank God) unharmed, but I was injured: broken arm and ribs, concussion and the discovery of a previously undiscovered heart problem). I'm ok, but have been signed off work until October (mostly the heart problem).

Anyway, every year we spend the summer (end July til end of Aug - a fairly dead time for academia) at our summer house in Sweden. DH is Swedish and his eldest DC live there as well as other members of his family. He inherited the house from his parents over 20 years ago and we have gone there every summer since. It's also an opportunity for the girls to explore their Swedish roots, see their DSCs and other members of the family, and also for us to hang out as an extended family and do lots of things together.

However, this year, I'm wondering whether it is appropriate/ok for me to go as I'm signed off sick and this is basically a family holiday. In fact a colleague has made some comments about me being on holiday instead of signed off sick and pointed out that if I was well enough to travel to Sweden (we take a ferry and drive rather than fly) then I'm well enough to work.

Should I stay at home?

OP posts:
BulletLaVolta · 18/07/2014 19:37

No, go it will be good for your recovery. None of your colleagues business.

nethunsreject · 18/07/2014 19:39

I agree, I think it is fine to go. You have been signed off, with good reason. Fwiw, I'd let my boss know, just for my own piece of mind.
Hope you are fully recovered soon

Namechangearoonie123 · 18/07/2014 19:40

Yes it's appropriate. And you should raise it with your manager to stop the colleague doing this as it's not on.

grocklebox · 18/07/2014 19:40

Its none of their business what you are well enough for, the nosy fuckers.

What's DSC standfor, btw?

Birdsgottafly · 18/07/2014 19:41

Travelling anywhere, isn't a bit like having to get up everyday and going to work, on top of still running your household.

Unless you are paddling a canoe all the way there.

Go and recover any way you need to.

The shock of the accident may hit you in a couple if weeks, I've known that to happen, better to be in a relaxing environment.

RumAppleGinger · 18/07/2014 19:41

No, you are genuinely sick and have been signed off accordingly. Go to Sweden and relax for a few weeks. Hope you're on the mend soon. ps your work colleague is an arse

Dec2013mummy · 18/07/2014 19:42

Someone from my work was signed off sick and went on holiday to some island somewhere. She went all out. My boss tried to have her up on it but the unions got involved and work were told it was to help recovery there was nothing they could do.

Your situation is entirely different. I would say go :) after all it's visiting family/ getting family support through a difficult time.

SantanaLopez · 18/07/2014 19:43

Travelling is not like working, YANBU. I hope you recuperate well!

DirtyDancing · 18/07/2014 19:43

I think it sounds like an excellent idea, in fact you are convalescing. Much needed by the sounds of things.

PervyMuskrat · 18/07/2014 19:46

Go for it, but make sure that your insurance will cover you for any issues related to your injuries or heart condition as they probably count as a pre existing condition now.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 18/07/2014 19:47

They are two separate things. You can be medically unfit for work whilst being fit enough to go on holiday. A simple example would be a bus driver with a broken arm - they are medically unfit to work but they could go and lie on a beach somewhere.

I would speak to your HR people.

kilmuir · 18/07/2014 19:48

You are signed off. You can get better in house in Uk or house in Sweden. What does colleague expect you to do, sit on settee until Oct?

HamAndPlaques · 18/07/2014 19:49

Go, rest, and recuperate. But as pp have suggested, be proactive in informing your employer so that nosy colleague, or indeed anyone else, can't 'accidentally' let it slip in an attempt to undermine you.

HicDraconis · 18/07/2014 19:49

There is no difference in you being off work but in the UK and off work but in Sweden. Either way you are not at work. There will be things you can't do due to recuperating, no matter which country you happen to be in.

Is your colleague expecting that while you are off sick, you stay in your house all day being ill?

I disagree that if you're well enough to travel, you're well enough to work. The two activities place different physiological demands on your body. If you can work you can probably travel too, but the converse isn't true.

Hope you're feeling better soon. Just make sure that you take all your meds with you for the time you'll be there and maybe take a copy of your discharge summary in case you become unwell again while there.

SauvignonBlanche · 18/07/2014 19:50

It's nobody's business if you stay at another address whilst you convalesce!

I'm signed off sick until September but I'll be damned if I keep the DCs home very night because of this.

I'm not allowed to fly but plan to have a week away in the UK or Eire.

GreeboOgg · 18/07/2014 19:51

Point out to your colleague that you're going to spending the time recovering at home. It just so happens that this home is in Sweden. (And then tell her to wind her fucking nosy neck in, cheeky mare.)

mousmous · 18/07/2014 19:52

go
check out first wrt health insurance in case you need treatments and occ health in case they need you for some questions.
a month like this sounds just like what you need.

ThatBloodyWoman · 18/07/2014 19:52

Sweden makes everything better.

Go!!!

I would.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 18/07/2014 19:52

Take medical advice, if your doctor advises a holiday, then go for it. I second checking the insurance position though.

onedev · 18/07/2014 19:53

In our company you'd be fine to go but should ensure you tell your manager first as it's expected you'd be contactable / available to have discussions with your line manager etc & would definitely get into trouble for going away without informing first.

MaryWestmacott · 18/07/2014 19:53

Speak to your boss, explain you will be away, your doctor has said you're ok to travel, just not by air, but said you still aren't fit to work.

If you've been open and honest about it, then I can't see anyone would mind, it's a feeling that you've sneaked a holiday that might annoy people.

onedev · 18/07/2014 19:54

Should also add that we wouldn't stop you from going at all.

TheFairyCaravan · 18/07/2014 19:56

I went on holiday when I was signed off sick. I got permission from my manager to prevent my colleagues bitching behind my back (we all lived/worked in a small community). My manager said, yes go, so we did.

On the first Monday I was home I was phoned by the manager who was raging that I had gone because my colleagues had all been bitching. She denied giving permission. I had taken notes of the call, and had proof on my bill I had rang.

I contacted the CAB and have legal advice on my house insurance so contacted them, they both said I needed to tell the employer I was going so They could decided of to pay holiday or sick pay for that week.

It ironed itself out in the end, but I left soon after.

I would go on holiday on the sick again, it did me the world of good. They can't stop you from going. Goo, enjoy yourself and feel better soon.

ajandjjmum · 18/07/2014 19:57

I don't understand - if you do it every summer surely your boss will know that you will this year? Maybe speak to him to confirm.

Certainly see no problem with you recuperating in Sweden rather than UK - might think differently if you were sky-diving in New Zealand or partying in Shagaluf!!! Grin

MrsMaturin · 18/07/2014 20:00

I think you need to advise HR that you will be out of the country at a family property, making it clear that your dh has children there too. For you to go is perfectly reasonable and your injuries do not preclude it nor does being able to go mean that you are fit for work. Just cover yourself by being up front with HR who I am sure will entirely appreciate your position. Then tell your colleague to mind her own business.