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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Spending the summer at our summer house in Sweden whilst signed off sick?

76 replies

zeezeek · 18/07/2014 19:36

A few weeks ago DDs and I were in a fairly serious RTA. They are (thank God) unharmed, but I was injured: broken arm and ribs, concussion and the discovery of a previously undiscovered heart problem). I'm ok, but have been signed off work until October (mostly the heart problem).

Anyway, every year we spend the summer (end July til end of Aug - a fairly dead time for academia) at our summer house in Sweden. DH is Swedish and his eldest DC live there as well as other members of his family. He inherited the house from his parents over 20 years ago and we have gone there every summer since. It's also an opportunity for the girls to explore their Swedish roots, see their DSCs and other members of the family, and also for us to hang out as an extended family and do lots of things together.

However, this year, I'm wondering whether it is appropriate/ok for me to go as I'm signed off sick and this is basically a family holiday. In fact a colleague has made some comments about me being on holiday instead of signed off sick and pointed out that if I was well enough to travel to Sweden (we take a ferry and drive rather than fly) then I'm well enough to work.

Should I stay at home?

OP posts:

ikeaismylocal · 18/07/2014 21:47

The healthcare is amazing once your in the system, I'm terrified of one of us getting ill when we are in the UK, dp often seems to get ill in the UK, the fact he is foreign isn't a problem at all, they just tick "white other" and he's in the system, the problem is the terrible waiting times and disorganization. In comparison getting into the system seems harder in Sweden but once your in the system it's very dignified and efficient.

Happy holidays! It's been baking hot the last couple of weeks, I hope it stays warm for your holiday :)

weebarra · 18/07/2014 21:47

Obviously you should go for it. I'm recovering from breast cancer and am off work at least until the end of September but have just come back from two weeks in Mallorca. Work were well aware of me going (we go every year) and were happy for me to go.
Have a wonderful time and I hope being away speeds your recuperation!

Original poster

zeezeek · 18/07/2014 21:49

ikeaismylocal - good to know that! Interestingly, we all seem to be healthier in Sweden lol. Fjallbacka is gorgeous any time of year, but the perfect place for summer.

OP posts:

Original poster

zeezeek · 18/07/2014 21:50

weebarra - thanks to you too. Hope you get well soon xx

OP posts:

HippityHoppityLaLaLa · 18/07/2014 21:55

Fjallbacka? Lucky you! (Camilla Lackberg fan here!) not jealous, oh no

If your GP has OK'd it, and you've got the right insurance, an EHIC card for everyone, and you've made your line manager and HR aware then you should just go for it. Better than staying at home, in your particular circumstances, I would argue, with people who will be looking after you.

I have a staff member off sick who has just been on holiday: it's not that unusual if the GP thinks it could aid recuperation.

Have a wonderful holiday.

revealall · 18/07/2014 22:51

We'll I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent.

Of course you don't have to work if you are signed off. You are free to travel wherever you want.

But yes I would find it hard to actually believe you are up to travelling but not able to do your job. I guess that is why you are employed and not running your own business though. But as I said it is your entitlement to go and now you are signed off they won't expect you to work.

GarlicJulyKit · 18/07/2014 23:17

you are up to travelling but not able to do your job

But that's mad, isn't it? If you know of any jobs that involve sitting in a car for a day, then hanging out somewhere lovely with family for two months, I think you should share this info!

revealall · 18/07/2014 23:33

Erm well moving is supposed to be one of the most stressful things you can do. So decamping to foreign climes for two months is not as easy as all that. Especially as there is lots of family stuff and trips involved by the sounds of it. Not like sitting around convalescing.

Nothing to say op's job is stressful especially as they have said August is quiet at work.
I'm not saying don't go as work isn't an option now. But really I think the op can see why colleagues might think it's a bit of a piss take.

rinabean · 18/07/2014 23:44

A two month holiday to a house you own with family around is nothing like moving house, oh my god.

Heels99 · 18/07/2014 23:47

I would say you have spoken to your gp and they say you are ok to fly and that they recommend it for your recovery. It's not so much a holiday as recovering somewhere people can look after you, a recuperation break. hope you make a good recovery

sashh · 19/07/2014 05:45

Many years ago people would be sent to convalesce, if a victorian with TB could be sent to Switzerland for three months there is no reason you can't go to Sweden.

FunkyBoldRibena · 19/07/2014 07:41

OP, you own two houses. If they were in - for example- Manchester and Liverpool, nobody would say you can't go to your Liverpool house because you should stay in your Manchester house whilst you convalesce, esp when your husbands family who can support you live in Liverpool.

Your colleague needs to pipe down a little.

revealall · 19/07/2014 09:02

Well it is a bit like moving house in the lots to organise sense. Op isn't going to be "looked after " any more over there then she would over here.

There's bags to pack and things to take for a couple of month stay that you wouldn't bother with on holiday. Things to remember with your house when you leave it for a month or so. Not to mention the drive and the ferries. And then there are lots of people to see and visits to make when she gets there.

Again not saying she shouldn't but still not seeing why it's easier on her heart from what sounds like non physical type job.

Chunderella · 19/07/2014 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 19/07/2014 09:16

Part of my recuperation from a broken leg involved two weeks on the Cote d'Azur.

With my boss's and GP's agreement, I was signed fit for HGV driving 14 days early and then booked 10 leave days at holiday pay rate. This balanced the books and kept everyone happy. This meant I received higher pay for two weks, Boss didn't have to worry about being a driver down for an extra fortnight and I could earn more overtime back at work.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves · 19/07/2014 09:30

reveallall, YABU. The OP's DH will be seeing to lots of the details you mention, I would imagine, given that he's going to be at home full-time from the autumn.

Also, the OP is signed off from teaching, marking, attending committees, working on grant applications, writing up papers on her research, working in a lab (if relevant) and anything else that would involve going into the university. She may well, if she's up to it, be continuing to read new papers and books in her research area of interest. Being an academic is very different from running a business.

julieann42 · 19/07/2014 11:04

My husband is in a similar situation..we just make sure we won't mention when we are away in cottage in the lakes..we won't post anything on Facebook or discuss with work. He is signed off by GP. None of works business.

Trills · 19/07/2014 11:09

There is no difference in you being off work but in the UK and off work but in Sweden.

I agree with HicDraconis

whatever5 · 19/07/2014 11:25

I think it is fine but I wouldn't call it a holiday. You are just going to Sweden to recuperate because your DH is Swedish and other family live there.

You obviously don't do any research if you consider August to be a "waste of time" in academia though!

ICanSeeTheSun · 19/07/2014 11:34

Have a lovely holiday, how I look at it people are better off on holiday while on the sick because you tend to relax more.

I'm on the sick after knee surgery I'm on the sofa/bed most of the day and I can see my house falling to ruins in front of my eyes ( DH is trying )

revealall · 19/07/2014 11:37

Just to clarify I'm not saying she should be at work. I'm saying she's been signed off for a reason. From a not physically tiring job, at a quiet time of year.
I was imagining a very long drive with two children, organising 6 weeks away and then have lots of visits and friends over was more stressful than staying at home with DH and friends to look after you. Which possibly why colleague chipped in. But I agree it's not her business.
Have a great time.

Whatisaweekend · 19/07/2014 11:56

Oh it sounds wonderful! Go and heal as a family! And tell your colleague, in no uncertain terms that it is none of his business, you have cleared it with everyone and he can bog off!!

for your continued recovery.

ICanSeeTheSun · 19/07/2014 12:16

I have never found travelling stressful, just boring.

Original poster

zeezeek · 19/07/2014 20:04

Thanks for the continuing support. We're actually going for one month, not 2 and it is something that we do every year. As we have family who live around there, they look after the house for us and we keep a lot of things there all year (including clothes for DH and I - though the DDs grow so fast it's not possible for them!).

No, I don't have a physical job. I am an academic and a researcher and, as my research involves working with GP practices, August does tend to me a slow month for us. In previous years I've taken bits of work with me, but not this year. In my defence, as anyone in academia or an office job or position like that will understand, it is incredibly stressful and my cardiologist doesn't think that I should be having to deal with any stress at the moment. It's also a bit difficult using a computer or writing or doing anything with my arm still in plaster.

If I was self-employed, then I would now be in the position where I had to decide whether or not to ignore medical advice and possibly end up in hospital, or to take time off and have less money or to give up my company. I am, therefore, very grateful not to be self-employed at the moment and feel for anyone in that position.

We saw my boss today and have actually made plans for him and his wife to spend a week with us at the end of August.

There's lots of DH's family nearby. We do tend to meet up for meals and so on at each other's houses, but we don't generally do lots of visits etc. I intend spending the time pottering around the house and the town.

And, yes, I do feel very lucky and blessed for being able to get better in such a beautiful place even though it was better before the Camilla Lackberg books because there were fewer tourists.

OP posts:

Original poster

zeezeek · 19/07/2014 20:06

Oh, and according to my boss, the troublesome colleague is not finding that they have as much support in the department as they thought they would.....

OP posts:

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