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Original poster

Spending the summer at our summer house in Sweden whilst signed off sick?

76 replies

zeezeek · 18/07/2014 19:36

A few weeks ago DDs and I were in a fairly serious RTA. They are (thank God) unharmed, but I was injured: broken arm and ribs, concussion and the discovery of a previously undiscovered heart problem). I'm ok, but have been signed off work until October (mostly the heart problem).

Anyway, every year we spend the summer (end July til end of Aug - a fairly dead time for academia) at our summer house in Sweden. DH is Swedish and his eldest DC live there as well as other members of his family. He inherited the house from his parents over 20 years ago and we have gone there every summer since. It's also an opportunity for the girls to explore their Swedish roots, see their DSCs and other members of the family, and also for us to hang out as an extended family and do lots of things together.

However, this year, I'm wondering whether it is appropriate/ok for me to go as I'm signed off sick and this is basically a family holiday. In fact a colleague has made some comments about me being on holiday instead of signed off sick and pointed out that if I was well enough to travel to Sweden (we take a ferry and drive rather than fly) then I'm well enough to work.

Should I stay at home?

OP posts:
Original poster
zeezeek · 18/07/2014 20:03

Thank you! Actually my bosses do know because they have known DH and I long time and know that this is part of our routine each year (in fact my immediate line manager is an old friend of DH and has stayed in our summer house for a couple of weeks). I spoke to my line manager tonight and he was ok with us going, in fact took it as read that we would be off next week as normal and was just asking about whether or not I had enough medication. It's just this one colleague - who makes a point of never taking a holiday during the summer even though there is no expectation in my department to go in everyday.

DSC are my step-children - who are now in their 20's and are super cool and adore my DDs. In fact my DH's exW even joins us sometimes. It's just a lovely break and I feel would help me physically and emotionally.

Been feeling a bit vulnerable since the accident and feel the need to spend time with my DH and DDs (and dogs!!).

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MrsMaturin · 18/07/2014 20:28

Your line manager sounds very sensible. Any employer needs to keep in touch with employees on long term sick leave - which is defined by my employers as any more than 4 weeks. So they should know that you're out of the country as part of that keeping in touch. I'm sure you'll have a great time and come back in the autumn raring to get back to work.

Original poster
zeezeek · 18/07/2014 20:32

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot. My line manager/HoD is completely cool with us spending the summer as normal. Even though the girls weren't injured physically, they saw what happened to me and are, as a consequence, very clingy and the younger one is having nightmares still. We need to spend some time together as a family and we need some normality.

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MrsMaturin · 18/07/2014 20:34

Must have been awful for you :( If the girls are still struggling in the autumn then seek some support through their school or GP but hopefully a bit of peace and family adventures will sort them out.

VeryStressedMum · 18/07/2014 20:38

You're not back packing around the world, you'll be sitting in a car for a few days (or however long it will take to get there) then sitting in a house...ignore him, and have a lovely time.

Original poster
zeezeek · 18/07/2014 20:46

MrsMaturin - I am hoping so too. I think that it will help that when we get back DH will be home full time and I'm only going back part time for several months. They are already talking about seeing the family and trying out new words in Swedish that DH is teaching them.....it is what they need, I need and my beloved DH needs as he is the one that has kept us all going. We're going Smile. Have got to the "fuck it" point with that particular colleague tbh. They can bitch about me all they want...

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OorWullie · 18/07/2014 20:50

It's really none of your colleagues' business at all.

I'm signed off till the end of August after being in a RTA and I'm carrying on as normally as possible.

Travelling for a day or two and then being able to rest is worlds away from travelling into work and being committed every day without rest.

Hope you feel better soon Thanks

Engol · 18/07/2014 20:55

Sorry to hear what you've been through, delighted though your heart condition was detected in time. Enjoy your holiday:-)

enterthedragon · 18/07/2014 21:01

Sick certificates (now called fit certificate) declare you unfit to work not unfit to live your life.

Give your boss a call and make him/her aware of your colleagues remarks, then go and recover as a family.

It really is not anyone else's concern.

ikeaismylocal · 18/07/2014 21:02

The only thing which would concern me would be if you were likely to need ongoing medical care, it's not easy to access medical care if you don't have a Swedish personal number.

If you just need to be at home to relax I can't see why it would make any difference if you are at home in the UK or in Sweden.

The other thing which would concern me would be driving through Germany, we take the ferry to the hook of Holland when we drive, but if your taking the ferry to Denmark that won't be an issue.

Igggi · 18/07/2014 21:03

Not inappropriate at all.

McFlickle · 18/07/2014 21:08

Is your colleague a doctor? Goodness sakes it's none of their business. You are spending time with your family in your family house in another country. What are you supposed to do, sit at home in UK while everyone else goes? People just need mind their own.

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 18/07/2014 21:11

So long as your doctor says you're fit to travel and you have the necessary insurance to protect you (for your sake) then if your manager agrees what business is it of anyone else's?

Sorry to hear about the accident OP, hope you and yours are ok Thanks Take care.

Original poster
zeezeek · 18/07/2014 21:16

ikeaismylocal - we're taking the ferry to Denmark. No, I don't have a Swedish personal number, so that is a minor concern - but it is not likely that I'll need medical care as I have been given the all clear to do it from my UK doctors. If the worst comes to the worst we have Amex travel insurance and some of my DH's family are doctors in Sweden!

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GarlicJulyKit · 18/07/2014 21:21

Sounds good! I had a boss who phoned a colleague in hospital and yelled at him to make some fucking sales calls while he was lying around in bed Shock

Coconutty · 18/07/2014 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ikeaismylocal · 18/07/2014 21:23

I think that once your in the system you would be fine, itjust really baffles the Swedish healthcare system if you don't have a personal number, I took my newborn baby to a+e with breathing difficulties, I couldn't remember his personal number ( he was only a couple if weeks old and I was panicking) the receptionist said he "might as well not exist with no personal number" I called dp and he could remember it, it delayed ds's care slightly, in a more serious situation those lost minutes could have a more serious consequence.

Hopefully you won't need to use the hospital or Dr at all whilst your away!!

wowfudge · 18/07/2014 21:23

Your colleague sounds like a mardy-arsed, jealous cow. Sorry - not very eloquent, but it's hot and I've finally had a sit down and a refreshing cider! Ignore her. Even if it weren't summer, your Swedish holiday home would be somewhere I'd suggest you go to recuperate.

In fact, can I rent it from you? Sounds idyllic. And I have a friend who lives in Lysekil....

wowfudge · 18/07/2014 21:26

EHIC is what you need to ensure you can get medical treatment if needed. And do tell your insurers before you go.

wobblyweebles · 18/07/2014 21:32

It doesn't matter what your colleague thinks. Check with work/occupational therapy/HR that they are OK with it then go.

Original poster
zeezeek · 18/07/2014 21:38

ikeaismylocal - that is a concern. DD1 has asthma and one year it was quite severe when we went over there, and the whole issue of a personal number was a bit worrying. DH is Swedish, but has been out of the country nearly 30 years now, so didn't feel that confident. Luckily it wasn't an issue and in fact she was much better in Sweden than she was in the UK! So, hoping it's not a problem, but have sorted it with insurers....and, thanks to MN feeling happier about telling colleague to stuff it! Our holiday home is in Fjallbacka (famous through the Camilla Lackberg books) - totally gorgeous and gives the girls a chance to express their Swedish side.

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MamaLazarou · 18/07/2014 21:39

None of your colleague's business. I hope you have a lovely, restful time and get well soon. Xx

cantbeliveididthat · 18/07/2014 21:44

You must go! I can't think of a better place to recuperate.

I am just confused as to why this would be an issue at all? I addition to the excellent points raised above, what if you were forrin like me and your actual home is abroad? The whole thing of not travelling just because you are off sick is nonsensical. The colleague is probably jealous because they will be spending August catching up on papers they were supposed to have written!

Also - my impression of academia based on my own workplace, is that you could do pretty much whatever you want in August and no one would notice.

Original poster
zeezeek · 18/07/2014 21:45

MamaLazarou - thank you. And everyone else. It has been a bit of a wake up call - seeing the girls so scared that they are going to lose me. whilst I can't promise to be the perfect mum always and will always have a job that involves travelling and long hours - we need this month as a family to recover from the shock together, I think. Hopefully the girls will be ok, but if not, then I think I am going to have to re-evaluate my life......

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Original poster
zeezeek · 18/07/2014 21:47

cantbeliveididthat - ha! that's been the case as long as I've been in academia (25 years). This isn't something that we've just decided to do...it's because August is a waste of time in academia, as you said!!!

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