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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not invite her again?

69 replies

MilkandCereal · 18/07/2014 11:55

This happened a few days ago,but I'm still fizzing over it.

A former neighbour/family friend came over for tea and cake the other day. She's one of those people who is very outspoken and always 'just being honest' when personally I think she's bloody rude.

Anyway,while here she decided to inspect my wooden blinds,she often 'inspects' the house,and comment on how dusty they were,and that she'd be embarrassed if hers were like that. I wanted to tell her where to go,but just managed to hold my tongue.

Yes they were dusty,but I do clean them. I find it hard to keep wooden blinds clean anyway,they seem to be dust magnets, and I have a problem with my left arm,which means I can't raise it up for more than a few seconds without a lot of pain, and sometimes can't use it at all,so holding the slats up to clean is difficult.

My right arm also seems to 'tire' fairly easily,perhaps because it often does the work of two, and I have a separate condition which doesn't help either,so perhaps I don't clean them as often as I should.

AIBU to refuse to invite her back again. She's also a friend of my parents so that could be a little awkward,or should I spend more time on cleaning my blinds?

Apologies for the most boring post ever.

OP posts:
Namechangearoonie123 · 18/07/2014 11:57

It's not boring

And stop apologising for yourself, full stop

Be nice enough to yourself to not invite rude arseholes into your life.

And you certainly don't give them cake ! Smile

BunnyPotter · 18/07/2014 11:57

Either don't invite her, or just tell her you've got more important things to do with your time than clean whatever she's inspecting!

KittiesInsane · 18/07/2014 11:58

Hand her a duster and thank her for her lovely unintentional offer?

Justgotosleepnow · 18/07/2014 12:00

What about the good old- did you mean to be so rude?
Blimey I wouldn't bother inviting her back

FunkyBoldRibena · 18/07/2014 12:08

I'd have told her the truth which is - if you never clean blinds they stay as dirty as if you clean them each week; as the cleanliness just attracts the dirt so if she doesn't like it then she can put the cake and beverage down and leave my house for good.

Flywheel · 18/07/2014 12:09

She sounds like a pita.
On a seperate note, have you seen the blinds sisters you can get. The have lots of fingers so you can clean several slats at once. Not that I'm judging. I have one but still don't use it often enough.

Flywheel · 18/07/2014 12:10

Dusters, not sisters

CanaryYellow · 18/07/2014 12:11

Those outspoken people who pride themselves on "just being honest", "I tell it like it is", are always, without fail, rude, outspoken, opinionated arseholes.

Don't have her back again.

FunkyBoldRibena · 18/07/2014 12:13

Or 'fuck off if you don't like it then!

MilkandCereal · 18/07/2014 12:16

Apologies for drip feeding,but I did briefly say that it's difficult for me because of my arm,but apparently that's an excuse as the accident was over a decade ago. Angry

I should have handed her a duster. Wish I'd thought of that.

OP posts:
enriquetheringbearinglizard · 18/07/2014 12:20

Please invite her round again and after you've made her coffee take her to said blinds and say that since she remarked on the dust last time she inspected visited, you've been really upset because no matter how hard you try and get them clean as you'd like, you can't seem to get the finish that she knows is possible. Hand her various items of cleaning equipment and stand back in wonder.

Then come here and tell me how you get those bastards clean, because despite every possible bit of kit that's supposed to do the job, mine stubbornly remain dust magnets.

Purpleroxy · 18/07/2014 12:23

Stupid fucking cow. I would not invite her again.

andsmile · 18/07/2014 12:24

I had a friend like this and every time I clean my taps I wished Id said something to her. She freak out if she saw the state of house at the minute.

My wooden blinds a vair vair dusty and my arms are ok of not wobbly Grin do not feel the need to qualify why you have chose to live as you do inc dusting habits - it is your life and anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home is NOT a tru friend.

I have recently realsied a lot of this stuff about people - you dont have to confront or be all tough about it, jut quietly make a deicsion not have her back?

WhatsTheEffingPoint · 18/07/2014 13:12

Another dusty wooden blind owner over here Smile
Blind dusters are pants, I've tried them, now mine get the once over with the brush attachment on the hoover or normal duster every now and again. I hate cleaning them!! If a guest in my house felt the need to comment they would be told to 'Knock themselves out and crack on cleaning them if it bothered them that much'.

HecatePropylaea · 18/07/2014 13:17

I would just refuse to have her over again.

I fail to see why I should host someone in my home who it seems is only coming over so they can get off on judging me and go home feeling superior and having something to gossip about me.

Either that or make her a laxative cake.

Grin

(that was a joke. To save anyone the bother of being outraged at the damage that could be done by a laxative chocolate covered slice of cake)

Only1scoop · 18/07/2014 13:20

Ultra dusty wooden blinds here

Have here over pass her the duster and pseudo sarcastically ask her for tips....

MehsMum · 18/07/2014 14:52

For pity's sake. She has NO manners.
Never ask her round again.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 18/07/2014 15:00

Tell her to fuck off.

Do people actually care how clean other people's blinds are? Really?

She can inspect your door on her way out..!

Ilovehamabeads · 18/07/2014 15:01

You shouldn't even be justifying to her or us why they are dusty in the first place. She's just plain rude and not worthy of your cake.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 18/07/2014 15:04

I wasn't outraged by the laxative cake.

When I was about 18 (and couldn't stand up for myself) I had a really unpleasant colleague and I'd put laxatives in her food (worked in nursing home).

Not proud of it, but that's what happened.

Some people deserve a cake full of laxatives..!

Downamongtherednecks · 18/07/2014 15:04

How about.. "Wow! For you, feminism is something that just happened to someone else, isn't it? How interesting you think women's value is judged by cleaning. Your poor dd."

Callani · 18/07/2014 15:05

YABU - she was clearly offering to help you clean and you just ignored her ever so kind offer [sarcasm] Hmm

No OP, clearly you're not being unreasonable - I bet she's one of those people who like to "call a spade a spade" and yet get incredibly offended if you feel like returning the treatment...

PumpkinPie2013 · 18/07/2014 15:20

YANBU How bloody rude is she Shock

I wouldn't have her back!!

OnlyLovers · 18/07/2014 15:24

It's irrelevant how hard or easy it is to clean blinds.

It's irrelevant (in the nicest possible way!) what injuries/physical limitations you have.

It is not acceptable to come round and take someone's hospitality and 'inspect' their house and comment on its cleanliness.

Don't invite her back. If she asks why, tell her: you're just being honest Wink.

If your parents respect you they'll back you, not her. If they take sides and land on hers, fuck em all.

Don't most people have better things to worry about?

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 18/07/2014 18:54

OnlyLovers you are, of course, quite right.
It is never acceptable to be so rude in the home of your host, or at their table wherever it might be.

My comment was based on the fact that of all the things to pick on the stupid bint picked up on something that everyone struggles with - so hopefully made the OP feel a bit better maybe?