Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not invite her again?

69 replies

MilkandCereal · 18/07/2014 11:55

This happened a few days ago,but I'm still fizzing over it.

A former neighbour/family friend came over for tea and cake the other day. She's one of those people who is very outspoken and always 'just being honest' when personally I think she's bloody rude.

Anyway,while here she decided to inspect my wooden blinds,she often 'inspects' the house,and comment on how dusty they were,and that she'd be embarrassed if hers were like that. I wanted to tell her where to go,but just managed to hold my tongue.

Yes they were dusty,but I do clean them. I find it hard to keep wooden blinds clean anyway,they seem to be dust magnets, and I have a problem with my left arm,which means I can't raise it up for more than a few seconds without a lot of pain, and sometimes can't use it at all,so holding the slats up to clean is difficult.

My right arm also seems to 'tire' fairly easily,perhaps because it often does the work of two, and I have a separate condition which doesn't help either,so perhaps I don't clean them as often as I should.

AIBU to refuse to invite her back again. She's also a friend of my parents so that could be a little awkward,or should I spend more time on cleaning my blinds?

Apologies for the most boring post ever.

OP posts:
titabeth · 19/07/2014 16:05

URNBU! Don't invite her again. You don't have to justify yourself to ANYBODY!!!

Beautifullymixed · 19/07/2014 16:07

Enrique

The blinds do look fantastic though. Really brightened up the room -and by the sounds of it you clean them a darn sight better than I do Grin

Go for it!

titabeth · 19/07/2014 16:09

If you are really concerned about the dust, maybe you could try vertical blinds? They are a lot easier to dust!

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 19/07/2014 17:06

OnlyLovers no worries, I didn't think of anything of it, except that you are right, just adding to the debate really Smile

BeautifullyMixed I'll probably just procrastinate and wish they'd magically change themselves. It was just a bad choice.
It's a fairly large window, facing the front drive and is plain glass. And it's the downstairs toilet Sad so the dark wooden blinds were supposed to let in light but give privacy without drawing attention to that particular window.
I've had an ongoing battle of wills to try and get them clean, but have to face that it's an unwinnable battle unless the OP's exfamily friend wants to come and show me how it's done Grin

steppemum · 19/07/2014 17:21

How about.. "Wow! For you, feminism is something that just happened to someone else, isn't it? How interesting you think women's value is judged by cleaning. Your poor dd

I love this response! Grin

I have one friend whose house is always dirty. I am no saint but even I notice. But you know what? I would never dream of saying anything, and what is more, it is really none of my business.

Mrsgrumble · 19/07/2014 17:22

She's a bitch. I had a friend like this. She used to say ' oh you only have two rooms to down downstairs, how lucky ? '

But I was a dig

OneDreamOnly · 19/07/2014 17:28

What OnlyLovers said. No one should ever inspect a house they've been invited to and then make comments about it!

And also stop apologising about the fact the blinds were dusty. I can promise you that a bit of dust on blinds is OK!

downperiscope · 19/07/2014 17:33

what a waste of cake :(

i actually get some sort of reverse patronising passive aggressive commentary on the state of my house. i know full well it isn't spotless and yet within DHs extended family there's always someone who emphatically compliments on how clean my house is. i know they're lying but i don't get their motivation and their visits average once a year at most.

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 19/07/2014 19:44

Invite her over again and let her finish her coffee and cake then show her the kitchen where you haven't washed up and have also put dog hairs in the coffee pot and cake bowl. You could also have a used plaster stuck on top of the milk bottle.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 19/07/2014 19:56

My best friend started doing this recently. I'm not sure how to tackle this.
She'll sit down and blurt out something like: this plant could do with a bit of water! OMG, the state of this kettle, could do with a descaler. You still haven't got rid of this draining tray, it's a disgusting thing to have.

All I want to do is snap at her: it's alright for you, you're a SAHM ( children in secondary), all you do all day is clean, I work full time and yes, I could do what you just mentioned, perhaps I should spend my free time doing this, but I wanted to see you and put the world to rights with you one morning, forget about chores and just enjoy your company.
But I can't. I love her dearly and she would be mortified if she realised she's offending me. I am waiting for the right moment. But I avoid inviting her now :(

Stratter5 · 19/07/2014 19:59

Yup, I have dusty wooden blinds, and no excuse. I just cba to clean something that instantly becomes dusty again. Pointless exercise, imo.

She can fuck off, rude bitch.

MrJellyBean · 19/07/2014 20:04

I used to have wooden blinds and they drove me insane with the chuffing dust! You don't need to justify your reasons for the blinds being dusty, your 'friend' sounds horrible. Go round hers, do a big poo in her lav then squeal at the 'skiddies' she's left in her loo, then rant about how there's no excuse etc etc. Wadda bitch!

Patrickstarisabadbellend · 19/07/2014 20:06

Tell her to go blow a goat. What a cheeky bitch!

Beautifullymixed · 19/07/2014 20:26

Yes yes stratter5

Exactly what you said.

123upthere · 19/07/2014 20:32

YANBU My mother does this any chance she gets. But in the last 2 yrs I've slowly stood up for myself. It's your home OP. Choose carefully who you allow through the doors. A true friend won't criticise etc.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/07/2014 21:27

Look she is dame rude, even if your house looked like a hovel, it is no place of hers to be commenting. Just because she knows your parents does not give her the right to be rude, and you to be treated like shit. No inviting for her!

MaryWestmacott · 19/07/2014 21:38

She is rude. Don't invite her again.

It doesnt need to be a big deal, she needs to invite you to hers next, fine, you can go - then just leave it, if she contacts you, or you bump into her a breezy "yes, you are right, it has been ages, we should do something soon! I'm so busy over the summer/next couple of weeks/run up to Christmas/whatever but we really should do something soon! Got to dash." then never actually arrange anything... or arrange to meet out - if she's a former neighbour and you otherwise like her company - then how about meeting for coffee out. Bit by bit ease her out of your life.

Iflyaway · 19/07/2014 21:45

She must have an extremely boring life if she goes around inspecting other people,s houses for dust.

DO NOT PANDER TO HER (sorry for shouting)...

Like the Buddhist lama said "No-one, s going to be on their deathbed saying "I wish I had kept a cleaner house"(or spent more time in the office).

Grin
OnlyLovers · 20/07/2014 14:49

'Tell her to go blow a goat.' Grin Phrase of the day.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page