To be worried about challenging guests on their personal hygiene before I let them hold our precious second born?

[mameulah]

To cut a long (long!!!) story short...

When my practically estranged IL's turned up to meet our pfb she poked him all over the face in that 'coodgie coo' kind of way and then announced she wouldn't hold him because she had a cold sore. As you can imagine I was less than chuffed.

How best do I make sure that doesn't happen again without sounding and looking like a total cow? My DH's family is exceptionally dysfunctional selfish and whilst I don't like my IL's at all I don't want to further contribute to what is already a very odd and uncomfortable family set up.

Any ideas please...???

god help my children then as I HAVE cold sores and had babies - why it's a wonder the midwives let me hold them after birth let alone take them home

OP ask everyone to wash their hands - job done

I agree this is about much more than cold sores

Cold sores are not "gross". Yes, they are unsightly but not a reflection on a persons hygiene.

I'm well aware of the horrible consequences, my dd was at adoc on Christmas Day because I feared she had one.

But with a husband and six year old who both suffer my only other option was to chuck them both out, which seemed extreme.

Tinkly I am well aware - I used to nanny a baby with severe eczema - I was careful and he's just turned 23

danger doesn't mean you have to by hysterical - lots of things are dangerous to babies which is why we take sensible steps to protect them - please educate yourself :)

Waterducksback

I won't be going back to work. And under no circumstances ever would I leave my children on their own with my il's. Thanks for the helpful advice.

I don't agree with too much overfussiness about hygiene for people holding newborns. Like spraying them with dettol or making them walk through one of those foot baths. But I would draw the line at cold sores. They can be quite nasty I believe if the baby gets this virus.

They can be but as long as the person with it takes care, doesn't kiss baby and washes their hands then it reduces any risk.

Tbf OP, you could have started a thread about any PIL problem, - anything at all - because you dont like them and whatever they do puts your back up.

You clearly don't like them, but it would be odd to make everyone wash and scrub up to meet your newborn.

Thankfully for me, despite having three DC I'm rubbish at newborns so my dils will think I'm perfect because I won't coochy coo or want to hold their precious babies. Look out for the thread 'my mil is so cold and nasty she doesn't want to hold pfb!' (Not quite yet 18 year old DS though)

It's so difficult, I totally empathise. Could you time their visit for a nap/feed so that the baby will be "otherwise engaged" and they sadly will only be able to look from a distance?

(then distract them with older child).

I too had a tiny preemie. We were warned by the hospital to follow a v strict hygiene routine for the first 3 months or so or end up back in NICU.

I threw a health visitor out for not washing her hands. And several other visitors.

And yes, I did wash my hands before and after every time I touched the baby. I got bloody dermatitis from all the washing and sterilisation we had to do. Worth it to get home from hospital though.