to ask why we bring children into this world when it's so shit?

[kirsten123]

I haven't got any children of my own.

I wish my mother had never had me. I'm 31 and all I have is a shit job, living in a rented room, miles away from my parents, overweight, alcoholism, debt, cheated on, dumped (different guys) - you name it, I've done it. But wonderfully, I can look forward to working til I'm 70.

Cheers for that. And to think a knitting needle could have solved the problem.

Honestly though - why do you have children when there is so much shit they will have to deal with?

Yabu.

When I discovered I was pregnant I resolved that my son would join my ethos of being a person that changes his surroundings for the better by being a good and caring person. All it takes is for people to be kind to help change the world.

bella, I have five children not the OP and it's nice to know you think I shouldn't have children based on my outlook right now try watching your children go through watching their father die and then losing two other people a few months later and see how nice your outlook is on life!

Biological urge.

There's no logical reason for anyone to have a child really, not even at the moment, there never has been.

Life has always been hard, one way or another.

People have in the main been living unremarkable lives and having children who go on to live the same kind of unremarkable lives since forever.

Humans are animals, all animals have a desire to reproduce.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down op. But really, you are worth no less than the person next to you, who is likely to be living a simislr kind of life and occasionally having the same thoughts.

YABU, however I do believe if certain people did not keep haveing children (namely the reprobates on Jeremy Kyle) then the world would start to become a better place.

I can't deny being slightly frustrated with your comment though, about us all being dellusional about it, the world is a beautiful place, full of beautiful nature

Because not everyone agrees the world is shit and besides the presence of my kids makes the world just a little bit better IMO.

The world is terrible and cruel and also wonderful and exciting, you sound like you are in a dark place.

But not all of us are.

I'm so sorry as you sound so down. You have had a tough time of it. To be honest, you sound depressed and no one should ever tell you to get a grip if you are. Can you try to arrange some counselling? Can you manage to get outdoors to exercise, even?

I think life for very many is incredibly hard. I honestly do look at the crap stuff all over the world and wonder what shambles I have brought my kids into.

But there are always chinks of light. There is love and optimism. And nature. And hope. I really hope you can find peace as you deserve it. Good luck x

I'm sorry, but I tend to get a little suspicious when an OP does not post back, spent ages with other posters last week, replying to an OP, who turned out to be a troll

I just want to add that normally I think life has a lot of greatness and beauty, but at the same time there are also a lot of hardships.

Right now, seeing my children watch three people die horrific deaths of cancer, one being their dad has coloured my view. Seeing their pain and grief has made me feel guilty that I brought them into this world just to suffer all this pain. With their special needs as well they have not had it easy.

I know better days are ahead of them; well at least I hope they are. We have one more relative dying of cancer and then touch wood things will begin to calm down and more happiness will be ahead.

So right now I relate to the OP.

There is a lot of beauty in life but there is also a lot of shit.

Well objectively life is fucking shit, overall, for the majority of the population of the world. Very generally speaking, those of us who live in the developed world at the moment have it much better than most people who've ever lived have had it. When I'm feeling particularly fucked off I remind myself that I could have been born in a place where I'd be making a living picking through smouldering rubbish heaps, so I should be grateful that my job is a lot less shit than that. OTOH, yeah, the daily grind is a pain in the arse and it's relentless. All you can really do IMO is find a few really small things that you like, try to incorporate them into your life as often as possible, and be grateful that you're not in the gulag.

U2

I've had a bloody rough ride since 2009 now if I'm honest, and during this time there have been some major life changes and forced readjustments but I try to see the positives as much as I can, and I'm not in the best of places in life right now...

Saying that, I do understand that it's pretty hard not to see past the negatives if you're suffering from Depression.

Life is cruel, but beautiful, and a gift

U2

Kirsten isn't asking why other people have children when the world seems so shit.

She's wondering why her mother had her, when Kirsten's own life currently seems so shit.

It's the other side of the coin: "Why was I born?" It's a profound question, which I guess only philosophers or those in the depths of despair actually ask.

Ok, looking at it that way around I suppose, no child has every asked to be born.
None of us had any say in the matter, did we?

As my 11 yo DS1 recently asked me "Where were we before we were born?" - good question. I am quite sure I don't have the answer though.

Kirsten, having read some of your other threads, the recent ones, I think you ought to seek medical help immediately and I'd even go as far as to suggest A&E self referral for psyche, I think you are a sudden threat to yourself, judging from your threads/posts, especially your other Suicide one and this constant referral to the knitting needle.

Is there a hospital local to you, where you could access a crisis team straight away?

U2 I'm pretty sure Bellarations also has 5 dc, she wasn't having a pop at you

There is also the option of seeing your GP and asking for a referral to the crisis team. Your GP would be able to refer you over the phone while you are there and someone from the crisis team will come see you. At least that is how it works in my area. If you think you are at risk of hurting yourself tonight then A and E or even the out of hours GP but if you think you will be ok overnight seeing your GP for a referral will be quicker if you are lucky enough to get a same day appointment.

I haven't read your other threads so I'm just going off what a PP said. You don't have to live like this forever. I wish you all the best OP

Because children make this world worth living in

Oh crap! I just read her post again. Now I feel a right idiot. I am sorry bella for totally misunderstanding and not reading your post properly.

I think once you have children, your whole perspective changes anyway, and as the pp just said, children make it worth living in

It is fairly unusual to have five, easy conclusion to come to!

Kirsten123 you were born because you were made up of the fastest sperm and the healthiest egg, you were the best at that because you were meant to be here. You matter, just as we all do. You can carve out a piece of life, your time here on this planet, and make it what you want or what you can. What you can't do is be unborn. And you don't want to end it early because of your parents, who I promise you, would have dreamed of you, conceived you, loved you the moment they laid eyes on you, and you're here.

You need to take steps to get your head clear and your mind healthier, and then some day you'll hopefully see why you're here, and why it matters. x

You've been on anti-depressants for half your life but it sounds as though they aren't really working. You should see your GP again and possibly ask for a referral to a specialist team. You may need different tablets and further help.

Because the world isn't shit...it can be, sometimes, but other times it can be wonderful, beautiful, exciting and exhilarating. And having children heightens both the good and bad times. The world without children in it would be an infinitely more depressing place.

You sound seriously depressed [sad} Seriously, it's not normal to go around wishing your mum had just got a knitting needle and had done with it.
Seek help. There's a whole life out there if you care to look for it.