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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH thoughtless present

57 replies

Brittabot · 15/07/2014 07:58

DH returned from a 4 day stag last night. Brought a box of Lego each as a gift for our 2 children, they are aged 4 and 2, the Lego is for 6-10 years old. 4 year old very happy as he's good with Lego, but 2 year old really not interested as it's far too old for him, and we don't let him play with the Lego here as he can't do it yet and ends up throwing it/smashing it up.

DH can't see why I'm annoyed and just says he'll get something else today. AIBU to be annoyed that he didn't put any thought in?

OP posts:
hesterton · 15/07/2014 08:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dunkling · 15/07/2014 08:02

OK, so the present isn't 100% suitable, but he went on a stag weekend and thought to bring his sons a gift home, that is the bigger picture. Lovely thing to do and they were obviously on his mind while away. Shows his commitment to you all. How many men would do that on a boozed up 4 day stag?

winnertakesitall · 15/07/2014 08:04

There may not have been much choice and yabu to expect him to spend too much time finding gifts. The point is that he was there to enjoy the stag do. Just put the two year olds away and bring it out in 18 months time when he/she can enjoy it more.

Is there more to this? Are you perhaps annoyed that he went or is this purely about the gifts?

londonrach · 15/07/2014 08:05

Sister two played with Lego from age 2. In fact 3 year old fav toy at mo. Yabu he thought of them and bought something back. Ok your 2 year isn't interested at mo but he will be. It's the thought that courts.

EverythingCounts · 15/07/2014 08:05

I would be rolling my eyes to think he hadn't realised his youngest isn't ready for Lego. It's the kind of thing a mother would be absolutely expected to know about her child but somehow dad gets a pass. I would bet there was an offer on if you bought two boxes.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 15/07/2014 08:05

I wouldnt have expected dh to spend any of his time while on a stag getting presents to bring home, I know I dont if im away on a hen.

Whilst it would have been nice for the 2yo to have something he can play with now it is (1) not necessary and (2) something he knows will be well used over the years by both boys.

Its possible they were at a much cheaper price than the UK so a good bargain.

The 2yo really wont give a hoot I imagine!

EverythingCounts · 15/07/2014 08:08

It doesn't show they were on his mind while away. It shows they were on his mind for ten mins at the airport coming back. Texting saying he missed them shows that - which he may have done, of course.

SanityClause · 15/07/2014 08:16

I think YANBU.

As EverythingCounts says, a mother would be expected to know.

Grandparents might feasibly be forgiven for getting this kind of thing wrong, but surely a parent would have more clue?

Original poster
Brittabot · 15/07/2014 08:28

He did text to say he missed them every day. Hadn't considered 2 for one offer! I don't mind that he went, I get time away too.

As you mostly all agree I'm being unreasonable I probably am, 2 year old doesn't sleep well so I am a bit sleep deprived and grumpy!

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 15/07/2014 08:31

YABU, a little bit, he didn't need to buy them anything and Lego is a great toy. Yes, the two year old may not get it yet but he'll soon figure it out if left to play with it, watch his brother.

whois · 15/07/2014 08:31

Yes you're being U. He wasn't under any obligation to buy then anything at all. It was probably a last min gift buying at the airport with limited choice. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter if he's a good dad normally and good to you.

caeleth84 · 15/07/2014 08:48

I'm going to go with YANBU. A father should know what his kids are into and can play with.. 6-10 years is very far off for a 2 year old. I would not be impressed with DH if he brought that home.

Sure, he didn't have to bring them home something, but tbh bringing home something unsuitable seems worse to me. That's not "i was thinking of you /i wanted to get them something nice", that's "i thought i should bring something, didn't know what and this is the first thing i found at the airport".

ApocalypseThen · 15/07/2014 08:53

Was he missing some different children? What use is buying something unsuitable?

ilovesooty · 15/07/2014 08:54

He bought a present. He texted while away. You get time away too.

I think YABU really. It doesn't seem such a big transgression to me.

redskybynight · 15/07/2014 09:12

Lego is a great present even before they are old enough to make it themselves! It means that DH can make it while the DC "help" - great father/child bonding time!!

TeacupDrama · 15/07/2014 09:17

lego is rarely 2 for 1 the most is about 10% off in sale and as for 2 for 1 in airport more likely to be 25% mark up

ScrambledSmegs · 15/07/2014 09:40

Not the point but - 4 days? 4 DAYS?!

Good god, when did stag dos become so ridiculous?

Nanny0gg · 15/07/2014 09:43

Why is buying a completely unusable gift okay, because 'at least he thought about them'?

I don't get it. Either think about the recipient or don't bother. Just buying something because that's all there is doesn't make it right.

Is it because he's a man?

OP - YANBU.

ICanSeeTheSun · 15/07/2014 09:43

I must be a very bad mother, when I go away I don't buy the DC anything.

To busy dancing, drinking and enjoying the child free time ( it don't happen often)

maras2 · 15/07/2014 10:04

Agree with scrambled. 4 bloody days! Nowt wrong with the Leggo pressie though.

ApocalypseThen · 15/07/2014 10:11

Why is buying a completely unusable gift okay, because 'at least he thought about them'?

Don't understand that either. It's like buying a person with a nut allergy a whole nut bar and saying that they should be grateful because you thought of them. Whereas in fact, you didn't think of them, you did the minimum acknowledgement if their existence in a manner completely unrelated to the person in question.

Sisyphus85 · 15/07/2014 10:19

So your DH, whilst tired and hungover at the airport, looking at a range of overpriced and unappealing options, didn't actually engage his brain to thin about what would be appropriate.

YABU. He did well to get anything at all.

isitsnowingyet · 15/07/2014 10:37

YABU - oh and grow up all the posters whingeing about some poor bloke you don't even know.

NigellasDealer · 15/07/2014 10:40

YABU you have a husband who gets things for his children

diddl · 15/07/2014 10:42

Shame he cba to read the box!

I mean how is an unsuitable gift thoughtful??

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