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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH thoughtless present

57 replies

Brittabot · 15/07/2014 07:58

DH returned from a 4 day stag last night. Brought a box of Lego each as a gift for our 2 children, they are aged 4 and 2, the Lego is for 6-10 years old. 4 year old very happy as he's good with Lego, but 2 year old really not interested as it's far too old for him, and we don't let him play with the Lego here as he can't do it yet and ends up throwing it/smashing it up.

DH can't see why I'm annoyed and just says he'll get something else today. AIBU to be annoyed that he didn't put any thought in?

OP posts:
pictish · 15/07/2014 10:45

Oh God yabu. It was a simple gesture on his part, not a bloody fathering trial to be marked down for!

"July 14 - bought Lego for wrong age group. Fail."

Get a grip.

LongTimeLurking · 15/07/2014 10:47

YABU and so are many of the people here.... any excuse to attack this bloke it seems?

He didn't have to get anything at all, it wasn't a birthday or Christmas present. It was probably a last minute decision 'oh that looks nice, I'll grab that for the kids'.

diddl · 15/07/2014 10:50

So it's acceptable to not know what is suitable for his son?

If he grabbed a couple in a rush without time to check, why not say so?

If he had time, why not bother to check?

But no, all hail because he bought gifts!

murphys · 15/07/2014 10:54

Yabu. Pack them away until they can play with them then. You can never have too much Lego, and its getting pricier by the day.

And he didn't have to buy them a gift, only being away for 4 days. But obviously he wanted to, so he did. Now he is getting a hard time for it.

londonrach · 15/07/2014 10:54

Diddle the gift isn't unsuitable as a bar of choc with nuts in for someone with an allergy. My sister ds when 2 loved Lego as it was dad/son time. Ops son isnt into Lego yet but he will be very soon especially with older brother. I bet the best gift was having dad back....

pictish · 15/07/2014 10:58

Yes it is entirely acceptable because this is total non issue.
He's even said (even though I don't think he needed to) that he will replace the 2 yr old's gift with something more suitable today....but oh no...that's not good enough. He must be held to account and made to feel like a shit dad for buying Lego for the wrong age group. Because it's so important and proves he doesn't love his kids. Or some shit. Fuck knows.

kslatts · 15/07/2014 11:00

YABU -I'm guessing your DH is now wishing he hadn't bought anything.

Sisyphus85 · 15/07/2014 11:00
  1. He's not a thoughtful father for buying any gift at all
  2. He's not a thoughtless father for not taking 10 seconds to check age rating
  3. He was hungover
Idontseeanyicegiants · 15/07/2014 11:26

With supervision Lego is fine for a 2 year old. My DD plays with her sisters and brothers stuff all the time. As long as they're past the putting everything into their mouths phase let them play with it!
They'll go from breaking it all up to building towers and simple stuff in no time at all. Smile
The last time I went on a 3 day hen do I brought back a raging hangover and 2 blistered feet. The poor bugger tried FFS!

Cockadoodledooo · 15/07/2014 11:33

Are you miffed because he didn't get you anything? ;-)

I'd thank him for buying me and eldest ds Lego, then ask where ds2's gift was personally!

Purpleroxy · 15/07/2014 12:46

He probably saw lego, thought lego is fun, was rushed and hungover etc. I don't think it's a major crime. As long as the 2yo won't put lego in mouth, he can play with a mini figure.

LittleBearPad · 15/07/2014 12:56

YABU -I'm guessing your DH is now wishing he hadn't bought anything.

Definitely!

pictish · 15/07/2014 13:25

No no no...stop with all these realistic, reasonable posts....the man is clearly an utter bastard who couldn't give a fuck about his children! I mean...he bought ^Lego for the wrong age group for fuck's sake! This is serious!!

diddl · 15/07/2014 14:23

I agree that it's not a major crime.

But i hate this, "aw bless, he tried, be grateful".

If the mother is expected to know/think, why isn't the father?

pictish · 15/07/2014 14:38

Is the mother expected to know or think about these things?
Who expects it exactly?

There's no one at my front door inspecting gifts for suitability before they're permitted entry...and sometimes I do things in a thoughtless hurry too!

You're turning this into an anti man issue, and it just isn't one.

Nanny0gg · 15/07/2014 14:41

It's more anti-man and patronising with the 'ah bless, at least he thought of the children' crap imo.

FriendlyAmoeba · 15/07/2014 14:42

As long as the 2 year old isn't shoving pieces up his nose or eating them, I don't see the problem.

2 is a good age to start learning to build things. It could be a fun activity for dad to build with him to show him how.

pictish · 15/07/2014 14:46

I do agree NannyOgg...treating this fella like he's 5 yrs old and ought to be patted on the head for trying...I get that...but really, this most trivial of gaffs is nothing to do with gender.
It's an easy mistake that any of us could make.

LongTimeLurking · 15/07/2014 14:49

So all the people here saying he is thoughtless, lazy, unimaginative, etc, have never ever bought a bad gift for someone, ever? - Never just picked up a stocking filler at the last moment that was a bit naff, really? Of course not.

emms1981 · 15/07/2014 14:57

i don't think yabu but I hate lego! every birthday or christmas my boys are given some, I have about 6 sets under my bed I wont let them have

pictish · 15/07/2014 15:04

So all the people here saying he is thoughtless, lazy, unimaginative, etc, have never ever bought a bad gift for someone, ever? - Never just picked up a stocking filler at the last moment that was a bit naff, really? Of course not.

But those people are women you see, so therefore any similar gift buying mistakes they make are just silly and to be chortled at. However, if it's a penis you're sporting while thoughtlessly buying Lego for the wrong age group, it's the mark of a bad father. In fact...it's willfully uncaring.
Obviously.

EverythingCounts · 15/07/2014 15:09

Oh calm down yourselves folks. I said I would be rolling my eyes about it. Didn't say he was a terrible father or threaten to call social services. And I stand by my statement that a mum would get criticism for buying an unsuitable toy, whereas a dad gets praise for anything, as if he's a puppy.

DogCalledRudis · 15/07/2014 15:11

All lego is 3+, except duplo. Many children take it up younger. So YABVU

Ragwort · 15/07/2014 15:13

emms - at last I've met someone else whose children don't like Lego - my DS was the same, local charity shops loved us Grin.

Sorry to hijack thread - and yes YABU - a gift is a gift and I can think of numerous times I've got it wrong for my own child.

pictish · 15/07/2014 15:16

And I stand by my statement that a mum would get criticism for buying an unsuitable toy

From whom exactly?

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