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Original poster

To wonder if 'free spirited' is a euphemism for 'spoilt unruly brat'

113 replies

Vintagejazz · 14/07/2014 22:30

Twice recently I have heard children being described to their parents as 'free spirited' ie 'oh Emily is a real free spirit isn't she'?
and then been told privately 'oh my God you should have been at that wedding. Emily is an absolute brat'.

Just wondering if this is now a common term used to politely tell parents that you think their child is an annoying, unruly little pest?

OP posts:
shockinglybadteacher · 15/07/2014 08:16

I have heard from a relative "We used to describe them as...fascinating children. Or really interesting children. Or very bold children. Or we'd say "It's not everyone who could handle a child like Jimmy!"" :D

Ilovenicesoap · 15/07/2014 08:24

" My child is a free spirit" = Im a parent who cant be bothered /doesn't see the need to parent my child .

The children lose out also Sad

Ragwort · 15/07/2014 08:27

I agree - also parents who describe their children as 'quirky', 'individual', or who complain that teachers/other adults 'don't get' their child. Parents who don't discipline or ever let their child cry and then wonder why their little darlings play up Hmm. as seen on mumsnet threads

Delphiniumsblue · 15/07/2014 08:31

Ilovenicesoap- that is exactly the way that I see it.

Ilovenicesoap · 15/07/2014 08:37

Thanks Delphiniums Smile

The DC really do suffer - they end up not being invited, left out, etc

Delphiniumsblue · 15/07/2014 08:41

It is the child who suffers from lazy parenting- especially as they get older.

wonderingsoul · 15/07/2014 08:48

I would call Ds2 a free sprite, but he's well behaved and kind and absolutely hates being in trouble,...

He's just... V quirky and unusual.. I guess.. A free spirit that's March's to his own beat.

Dubjackeen · 15/07/2014 10:14

I assume free spirited means does exactly what they like with no thought or care for anyone else, whilst their parents look fondly on, or sip wine whilst ignoring their offspring painting the dog.

Love this Grin, I've never heard anyone describing a child as 'free spirited', but I would probably take this meaning from it too.

Harrietsferrets · 15/07/2014 10:20

We have one at school whose mother says she is 'sassy'

Notso · 15/07/2014 10:32

DS2 has been described as a free-spirit, live wire, wild child, spoilt brat and a ball of energy wrapped up in a blanket of enthusiasm.

He can be a total brat, but he's not spoilt. He has two long suffering parents who are struggling to cope with a child who seems alien in comparison to their other 3 children.

Bookaholic · 15/07/2014 10:41

I think it's one of those irregular verbs that English has:
My child is a free spirit
Your child is badly behaved
Her child is a spoiled brat

Smile
vladthedisorganised · 15/07/2014 10:58

I like it, Bookaholic!

I suppose there's a difference between "your child is a real free spirit, she doesn't mind playing on her own and loves being outdoors" (yes, she does. Why, thank you) and "your child is a real free spirit, she has a natural opposition to authority" (Oh dear).

If an adult describes themselves as 'free spirited': they probably see themselves as terribly bohemian and cool, they probably are incredibly conventional. A bit like the people who say 'I'm mad, me!!"

NynaevesSister · 15/07/2014 11:09

Oh goodness I describe son as a free spirit, creative, marches to beat of his own drum. At school he is the quiet shy child - I know it says shy three times in his end of year report - so I don't think it is a euphemism for being a brat.

For example they all had balls and were old to do their own thing. The teacher meant kick the ball about the room wherever they wanted - little kicks so it scoots across the floor. The other children ran about being lions and tigers roaring and growling. My son ignored the ball threw his arms up in the air and started waving them about chanting I am a tree.

SaucyJack · 15/07/2014 11:14

I would describe DD1 as a free spirit. Her last school report described her as "very individual and direct" and "needs to understand that there are conventions she must follow in school".

I've a sneaking suspicion I'm one of "those" parents.

PoirotsMoustache · 15/07/2014 11:14

Gosh, my DS is definitely a 'live wire' and 'spirited'. He's also very strong willed.
However, he is disciplined when he misbehaves, he isn't more badly behaved than any other child of his age (unlike his 'best' friend, for example, who hits people when he doesn't get what he wants), and he is also kind, thoughtful and loving. And he rarely wins the battle with me!

JerseySpud · 15/07/2014 11:33

Ive already described DD2 to her pre school teachers as 'opinionated, stubbourn and energetic'

So i won't be surprised if they come back and tell me she is a live wire.

I already know!!

Original poster
Vintagejazz · 15/07/2014 12:02

Nanny I think lots of small kids love to go outside and run around dance in the rain and wear a mish mash of colours. I wouldn't call that 'free spirited'. If it was an adult yes, but a child no.

I have a nephew and I think he is genuinely free spirited. He's quiet and well behaved but incredibly creative, goes around in a day dream and makes no effort to conform to what other boys his age are doing, and sometimes prefers to wander around the playground on his own making up stories in his head than join in what's going on. According to his school reports he's popular with the other boys, so it's not a case of a loner with no friends, just someone who genuinely 'marches to his own beat'.
So yes, I do think there are some kids who are genuinely quirky and different but they are rarely the kids whose mums go to great lengths to explain this to teachers and other mums Grin

OP posts:
Nannyplumismymum · 15/07/2014 12:10

Vintage - I really wasn't going to list on here all the reasons on here why she is a free spirit - but she is a free spirit.
She is very boho for a start.

This thread is so judgey I so can't be arsed.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/07/2014 12:39

I hate the word. Ds 2.5 years pre school teacher described him as a free spirit, no he's a tornado who destroys things in his path, despite me telling him off and sendíng him to his play pen.

Needaninsight · 15/07/2014 12:50

Defo means a brat. Or full of themselves!

Original poster
Vintagejazz · 15/07/2014 13:10

Is 'tree hugger' a euphemism for 'free spirit' and is 'free spirit' a euphemism for bohemian and is 'bohemian' a euphemism for.....

Jeeze, I'm getting confused now Confused

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 15/07/2014 13:26

My friend has a daughter that we often say is "away with the fairies." She's lovely though.

Her other DD (she's 10) is a drama queen to end all drama queens. On the year book page for her class her teacher had written what he was thankful for about each of his students..."Michael's interest in science" etc. For my friend's DD he'd written "X's expressive star qualities." :D We howled over that.

Backtobedlam · 15/07/2014 13:32

Dd was described as 'free spirited' because she is strong willed and determined rather than Bohemian I think! She will say, if you make me do x/y/z I will scream all the way to school or similar. She will then do exactly that, despite the fact she isn't spoilt and I don't give in to her. My other children aren't like that at all and never have been, they've been much easier to distract and respond to time outs etc so it can't be just down to parenting.

NickiFury · 15/07/2014 13:37

nannyplum I would describe my dd as a free spirit and she is in no way a brat. She has ASD for a start and if she's got a problem she makes sure we know about it. She's lovely and totally co-operative at school not so much at home. I think there's some quite vicious attitudes towards children on this thread tbh.

Lovecat · 15/07/2014 13:37

Hmm. On the fence with this one. Round here a child like that is referred to as 'a character'. "Oh, he/she's a real character" say the parents as their darling pushes other children off the swings/starts fires/paints on walls and generally runs riot.

OTOH, I have referred to DD in the past as 'quirky' because she just is. She doesn't fit comfortably into the girly/tomboy boxes, she is painfully literal about stuff, she has an odd sense of humour that verges on the morbid... quirky is a good word for her.

However, any bad or brattish behaviour is just not tolerated and at 9 she's a very well behaved little girl who, if anything, is rather too sensitive to the rules and gets humphy if little Tarquin gets patted on the head and indulged for his whingy behaviour rather than told off!

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