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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if 'free spirited' is a euphemism for 'spoilt unruly brat'

113 replies

Vintagejazz · 14/07/2014 22:30

Twice recently I have heard children being described to their parents as 'free spirited' ie 'oh Emily is a real free spirit isn't she'?
and then been told privately 'oh my God you should have been at that wedding. Emily is an absolute brat'.

Just wondering if this is now a common term used to politely tell parents that you think their child is an annoying, unruly little pest?

OP posts:
CundtBake · 14/07/2014 23:27

This was one of the phrases that would make me run a mile when I worked as a nanny. Along with terms like 'strong willed' and 'strong character'

ThatBloodyWoman · 14/07/2014 23:29

I'm going to have to be careful what I say now, because I'm sure I've used bothvthose descriptions about other people's children, but meant positive things!
And, who'd have thought -they've probably gone home thinking I'm a right snidey cah.

thefirstmrsrochester · 14/07/2014 23:43

In fact, I don't think I've ever heard anyone refer to their own child - let anyone else's - as a "free spirit" or "creative". But then, this is Glasgow.

You have not met my two doors down neighbour pumpkin.

thefirstmrsrochester · 14/07/2014 23:51

Sorry for the 'bold' text, was just trying to cut and paste unsuccessfully

funambulist · 14/07/2014 23:51

Hmm.

My DD and her classmates are at an age / stage where lots of them are falling out with each other one week and friends again the next.

My DD seems to be managing to stay out of it and has not fallen out with anyone. I think this is a good thing.

The mum of one of the girls who had fallen out with another girl, described them both to me with a certain note of pride as having "strong personalities". It did make me wonder whether she was implying that my daughter had a weak personality.

NickiFury · 14/07/2014 23:52

I've only ever heard it used to describe adults who don't much care what anyone thinks of them and who just do whatever they want.

I quite like it.

scottishmummy · 14/07/2014 23:59

The g12 mums they have fwee spirits,they fwee spirit noisily and conspicuously

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 15/07/2014 00:03

It says in my dd2s school report that she's strong willed. I know. Oh, I know. Grin

Nannyplumismymum · 15/07/2014 00:04

Yabu.
No it doesn't mean they are unruly spoilt brats.
We often refer to our DD as "free spirited " and she is .
She is also achieving above expectations in school , is a very kind child.
Your judgments are unruly though.

Nannyplumismymum · 15/07/2014 00:06

Free spirited for my DD means she loves to dance in the rain (which she often does) , it means she loves to dress boho in a rainbow of colours .
It does not for her mean badly behaved.

scottishmummy · 15/07/2014 00:08

Ime,it's a euphemism for unruly child with indulgent,gushing parents

thegreylady · 15/07/2014 00:13

How about this from a YR teacher to a mum:" Ah yes xxxxmarches to the beat of a different drum. "?

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 15/07/2014 00:15

My aunt complained to me that her son was scolded in an art gallery for kicking a football around, "he is expressing himself, thats a form or art" she says.

no. You are a fuckwit.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 15/07/2014 00:15

I love "marches to a beat of a different drum"!!! Saving that one for future use.

Jux · 15/07/2014 00:28

PinkFlamigo, I thought wilful did mean badly behaved and undisciplined? It certainly did when I was a child, before the world of positive spin took over and euphemisms had to be found for almost everything.

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2014 00:35

"marches to a beat of a different drum"

^^ Doesn't 'do' authority very well Grin

PenelopeLane · 15/07/2014 00:39

What about Princess and Diva? I know little girls described as these, and it's never for positive traits either to anyone except the parents - usually being really demanding and acting quite spoilt.

CheerfulYank · 15/07/2014 00:44

I call DS a "real live wire" and he is.

I drink more than I did before I had him. :o

DogCalledRudis · 15/07/2014 07:33

My favourite is 'indigo' -- a spoiled brat topped up with an extremely arrogant parent.

lettertoherms · 15/07/2014 07:39

I thought "free spirit" was code for "naturist".

Though I've heard spirited as word for a child who is not special needs but does have some traits like being easily overstimulated, prone to tantrums, needs things to be just so, etc. I would use that term as a teacher in that way.

MuttonCadet · 15/07/2014 07:46

I thought everyone used "free spirit" for "doesn't do what they're told".

JakeBullet · 15/07/2014 07:49

I have used the term "marches to the beat of a different drum" very tongue in cheek to describe DS. I have also used "wilful" and "brat". Never used "Indigo" or "free spirit" but have used "live wire".

DS is autistic with ADHD so all the above apply Grin.

I would also say "his poor teacher" but actually "his poor teacher" is very experienced and more than capable of sorting out spectrum behaviour from sheer stubbornness and dealing with it. I love her.....Grin

coralanne · 15/07/2014 07:54

Is this the same as saying my DD "" is slightly left of centre""Blush

lavenderhoney · 15/07/2014 07:56

I assume free spirited means does exactly what they like with no thought or care for anyone else, whilst their parents look fondly on, or sip wine whilst ignoring their offspring painting the dog.

Andrewofgg · 15/07/2014 08:11

Then there's challenging which means acts like a brat and knows it.