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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go and beat the little bastard around the head!?

55 replies

CalamityClara · 14/07/2014 10:39

DD is 15. Thankfully we are very close and she talks to me about things. A few months ago it became apparent she had a boyfriend. Teenage emotions being what they are, she was smitten and 'loved him'.

The little shit has dumped her over the weekend. She has been inconsolable. He dumped her because he wanted to go further than just kissing and she didn't want to.

I know this is all normal. I know she'll get over it and has probably learnt a valuable lesson about some boys, but my heart is breaking for her. My baby girl, my PFB, is so hurt and this is the first time in her life I can't make it better :(

I seriously want to go and kill this boy!!!

OP posts:
Silvercatowner · 14/07/2014 10:40

Well done your daughter. Yes, it is normal and no, you cannot kill him!!

lljkk · 14/07/2014 10:41

Come on, he's a daft 15yo boy. He could have gone off & cheated on her, better that he was honest about the relationship not being what he wanted.

Good for her at standing her ground about her firm boundaries. She's better off without him, anyway.

angelohsodelight · 14/07/2014 10:42

What a fucker! But bloody good on your dd for standing up for herself and not giving in! Massive congrats and she is better off without him! Though I remember sobbing my heart out many many many years ago in similar situations ....

Take her out for a coffee and cake. Try not to be too angry with the boyfriend in case your daughter thinks it is because they were well matched...

CoffeeTea103 · 14/07/2014 10:42

You've got a great, sensible girl there op!

Idontseeanyicegiants · 14/07/2014 10:42

Well done to your DD for having the courage to say no and to you for teaching her well!
And no you can't however tempting it is! Thanks

WorraLiberty · 14/07/2014 10:44

Slight over reaction from you there

It's horrible to see your kids hurting but it's all part of dating.

I'm sure your DD will break someone's heart one day and that boy's Mum will start a bastard beating thread too Grin

Plenty of cuddles and TLC Thanks

MagnificentMaleficent · 14/07/2014 10:45

Ah this happened to me at 16, although my suitor was 25. I now see how wrong that is.

As did my big brother when he found out and chased him down the road Grin

What made it better was everyone telling me how strong I was to stick to my beliefs and not be bullied into something I didn't want to do. Particularly now in the age of instant photos etc, he clearly isn't very pleasant so she has had a lucky escape.

Original poster
CalamityClara · 14/07/2014 10:45

I really struggled to make her go to school this morning. She can't stop crying :(

We had a chat and in the end a couple of her friends came to the house and practically dragged her out of the door.

Teenagers feel things so hard. She thinks her life is over.

I know I'm over reacting. I can't help it though.

OP posts:
Original poster
CalamityClara · 14/07/2014 10:49

Its their sports day today. They usually really enjoy it so I'm hoping that'll cheer her up. He is only in one of her classes so thankfully she doesn't have to see him much.

Going to go and buy cake and other goodies and have a dvd night with her and my other DC.

OP posts:
Groovee · 14/07/2014 11:22

I'd sit on his face and fart as that is lethal enough with me Grin

But sensible daughter you have OP, well done for bringing her up to know her own mind and be strong enough to stand up for herself. As for him, well she's better off without him!

Purplepoodle · 14/07/2014 11:25

Lots of praise and cuddles for her for not giving into his pressure xxx

Original poster
CalamityClara · 14/07/2014 12:48

Thanks for all the lovely comments. You've mad ex me feel a bit better and I'm seeing it from a more positive angle as dd didn't give in to his pressure.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 14/07/2014 12:50

Ice cream, straight from the tub with a spoon each.
Well done to your DD, hope mine respects herself as much when she gets older too.
You should be proud

Mamamarie4591 · 14/07/2014 12:51

Good for her for standing her ground, it is not easy as sadly boys are not renowned for being considerate and after such an event may well spread malicious rumours. Just to get back at her......

She will find Mr Right (but there are an awful lot of frogs to kiss first....)

londonrach · 14/07/2014 12:53

What a lovely dd you have who is strong enough to stand her ground. No you can't kill him (much as you like to). Treat your dd to something like a facial, new clothes and congratulate on being the amazing person she is. Yes it hurts. Really hurts but she is amazing strong woman who will learn a lot from this. (Hugs to your dd)

SauvignonBlanche · 14/07/2014 12:53

What a great girl, should be very proud of her and make you tell her that.
He's a knob, she's well rid.

Miggsie · 14/07/2014 12:55

It is important for her to realise that he didn't like her enough to wait for more physical stuff and therefore she is better off without him.

With any luck she'll get over it quickly and realise she had a lucky escape!

You do need to congratulate her on sticking to her guns - he showed his true colours then by going off to find a more "willing" partner.

If he comes sniffing back round, make sure she doesn't take him back...he really IS after only one thing, sadly.

HibiscusIsland · 14/07/2014 13:11

You can be proud of your dd and also of yourself for being the sort of mum a teen will confide in. I'd never have told my parents what was going on in a million years.

SquinkiesRule · 14/07/2014 13:17

I'd be so proud if my Dd did this. Well done to her for sticking to her guns. He's an immature boy, obviously he did "love" her as much or he'd wait till she's ready like any good man would.

VerityWaves · 14/07/2014 13:19

She's a smart girl and well rid.

goats · 14/07/2014 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyoneForTennis · 14/07/2014 13:23

Well done to your dd.

But lots of boy bashing on this thread Hmm

Showy · 14/07/2014 13:28

Oh she is a clever and courageous girl. Make sure she knows that.

I sat behind some girls on the bus once. They were 14 (mentioned by them) and discussing exactly this. One of them was sadly saying that she'd have to at least give her bf a blowjob or he'd leave her for being frigid and he'd threatened as much. I wanted to tell her to dump him. I should have done.

Showy · 14/07/2014 13:33

And to balance it out so you know I'm not boy bashing, I was pg at the time and the vast majority of the boys on my bus were under 15 and were kind, helpful, polite, chatty and respectful young men.

STOPwiththehahaheheloling · 14/07/2014 13:34

Well done to DD for sticking to her own boundaries.

However i'm not sure he is a little 'shit' or 'fucker' Hmm

He was upfront and ended the relationship as it wasnt what he wanted. He didnt pressure her or force her or pretend it didnt matter to him when it did. Its never easy being dumped but it doesnt mean the dumper is a bad person for deciding the relationship isnt what they want.

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