To squeeze 4 people into a 2 bed house?

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Am going to look at a house in the morning as cannot live with DH much longer. The house is in the perfect area and the estate agent has told me that the LL lets to Housing Benefit applicants so would be ideal, but.....
it only has 2 bedrooms and my 3 DCs have always had their own rooms up till now, so won't be happy about sharing.
AIBU to even consider this house?
DCs are DS(12), DD(7) and DS(6).

ps, i'd put the two boys together and put your dd in with you for the time being. on a foam fold out bed on the floor so that you both have your own beds.

I think for now, you'd easily have the younger two sharing, and your eldest could have the other bedroom. You could have the dining room, or could have a sofa bed in the living room, with your wardrobe in the dining room and a fold away table in there. By the time your DD is 10, and needing her own space, your eldest will be 16 and you can do as you suggested earlier, or may well be in a better position to move and find a larger house.

I also think it can definitely be done, let your two youngest share especially as they are so close in age. IMO your 12yo is at puberty age and needs his own space to do homework and be a (nearly) teenager. It's good you've got a dining room as that can double up as bedroomy space for you. Folding table and chairs and sofa bed or futon in living room for you to sleep on. You'll be fine!

Atm, my Ds is in my 2nd bedroom and Dd sleeps with me. We've done this for over 2 years. They are almost 16 (Ds) and 7 (Dd). I think you'll manage fine OP. Good luck!

Of course it can be done, but it's a shame for the kids that their standard of living has to change because the parents are splitting up.

I would put the 2 younger ones in the biggest room and the 12 yo in the smaller room and take the dining room myself. The living room can be for everyone, preferably with a table. My 9 & 10 yr old b/g still share through choice and you are 3 years away from that, by which time you will hopefully be in better circumstances.

I think it'd be fine, 12 yr old in smaller of 2 bedrooms, 6&7 yr olds sharing in the bigger bedroom. You can either have the dining room to sleep in or if you prefer to keep that as communal space, then have a sofa bed or futon.

If you need to leave, whether it's because he's abusive or whether it's because you're too unhappy to stay, and you've found your courage to go, do it. Don't lose that courage because some people think young children need their own space. They really don't.

Hope it all works out for you.

We are 4 in one bedroom flat. Dh, myself and children age 3 and 4. It's fine. We all share atm still but we can move to living room once older if needed

Well I viewed the house and I have first choice in it. I have to call tomorrow and make a payment of £120 holding fee.
Then before we move in I need to hand over about £1400 for various fees deposit references etc.
I am planning to talk to DH about this after DCs in bed as I am hoping he will be reasonable and agree to be a gaurantaur. I also need to ask him to put up this money as I will struggle to find this amount.
AIBU to even consider asking him for this or should I point out that after 12 years of cooking cleaning and childcare it's a small thing to ask for.
Also dreading having to sort out the furniture and beds. How do you share a ffridge freezer

You can't share a fridge freezer, but you can request one from Freecycle or Freegle. There are ways to acquire things without spending lots of money. I have given away ££££'s of stuff over the years and many others do too :) you just need to ask.

a friend of mine has 5 DCs all under 10 and they live in a 3 bed. 2 boys in each room and her dd in 3rd bedroom. She and her DH sleep on a sofa bed (v. good quality) which they fold up in the living room. She's really strict about keeping the living room tidy, you'd never know

good luck in your new start

No harm in asking him for the money even if you have to barging by leaving freezer ect. There are some great charity organisations that do reconditioned stuff. Your local dump often has a section for stuff that works but that people don't want.

Bargain even

If you are married and he isn't abusive (I'm assuming not if you are ok with asking him to be guarantor) then why on earth are you walking away from your house, car etc??

Have you sought legal advice on this?

Why are you leaving?

Presumably your current house is big enough for you all?

Is he playing the "I paid for it, I am not leaving" game? If he is then get to a solicitor asap and ask about an occupation order. If he wont move out then he wont pay for you to move out, I guarantee it.

Not abusive but distant, as a husband and parent IYSWIM
Could reel off a long list but I will just say that I feel like his housekeeper and nanny. Like a single parent but in a marriage.
Anyway had the talk with him and he agreed to help with references and deposit. No tears or protestations of love so I suppose he's not too fussed either way if I stay or not.

if there is separate "dining room" then that also counts as a bedroom so it is effectively a three bed. go for it. younger two share, you have dining room, other child other bedroom.

get a day bed in dining room so with cushions it can also be used in day if you have visitors. or a clic clac sofa bed.