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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To squeeze 4 people into a 2 bed house?

92 replies

MagersfonteinLugg · 13/07/2014 22:14

Am going to look at a house in the morning as cannot live with DH much longer. The house is in the perfect area and the estate agent has told me that the LL lets to Housing Benefit applicants so would be ideal, but.....
it only has 2 bedrooms and my 3 DCs have always had their own rooms up till now, so won't be happy about sharing.
AIBU to even consider this house?
DCs are DS(12), DD(7) and DS(6).

OP posts:

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/07/2014 23:16

Certainly doable with a separate dining room. Either DS1 has the dining room, DS2 the smallest bedroom & you share the largest bedroom with DD. Or DS1 has the smallest bedroom, DD & DS2 share the largest bedroom & you make the dining room into your room.

Is there space for a small dining table in the lounge? It could even be a fold up one?

My friend actually has 5 DCs in a similar sized house. They count the dining room as a bedroom (friend and her DH use it) & then upstairs they have "the boys room" and "the girls room".

RJnomore · 13/07/2014 23:17

Of course it can be done.

My great granny raised ten children in a room and kitchen.

DHs aunt had three children, herself and her husband in a two bed flat and the cousins are only in their thirties.

My friends parents raised four children including a son with severe SN in a three bed house.

This obsession with every child having its own room is very recent and very privileged. And it sounds like you would be much happier in Thr smaller house than hte situation you are in.

You can do it. Good luck.

BertieBotts · 13/07/2014 23:18

It's perfectly legal for them to share the legal thing is about what size council house the council are allowed to offer you - they wouldn't offer you a 2 bed but there's nothing to stop you renting one privately.

yestheyhavethesamedad · 13/07/2014 23:18

I have just moved into a 3 bed ( well 2 bed with dining room ) house with 5 of my children my eldest dd has the tiny dining room, just big enough for a bed, my ds has a room that he will share with my eldest ds when he comes to visit and the youngest 3 are sharing a room,as its more than big enough to have 2 sets of bunks and space left to play and I am on a sofabed in the living room.

they also moved from having their own rooms, but the location is ideal and the kids are loving being here.

the kids are 15,13,11,5 and 4 and the eldest that comes to visit is 16, he stays with his dad purely as he didn't ant to start 5th year in a new school.

Just make sure you have good storage and it will be fine, and if it isn't most leases are only for 6months anyway

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 13/07/2014 23:18

We have a 3 bed house, and the smallest room is 6 x 6 feet square.
When the whole family were at home, and for the six months my now DiL lived with us, we were 2 adults, 3 teenagers (2 boys and a girl) and 3 younger children (also 2 boys and a girl) and we managed just fine.
You need house rules, and will have to enforce them, which might be easier said than done but it's perfectly do-able.

BertieBotts · 13/07/2014 23:21

Whichever is the biggest room out of living room/dining room, I would use as a living room with dining table in there. The smaller one use as a third bedroom.

Even if you can't fit a dining table it's not the end of the world to eat on laps etc, I haven't had a dining table for about 5 years (just got one) and it was fine.

Pumpkinpositive · 13/07/2014 23:21

When the whole family were at home, and for the six months my now DiL lived with us, we were 2 adults, 3 teenagers (2 boys and a girl) and 3 younger children (also 2 boys and a girl) and we managed just fine.

Did you have bunk beds? How many bathrooms?

ImperialBlether · 13/07/2014 23:24

Sorry, I think it's too small. I was reading it thinking there were three bedrooms and that would've been bad enough. You can't sleep in the living room on a permanent basis; where would you put your things? Also if the kitchen is tiny, the dining room won't do for your son as the children will want to be in there at meal times.

Can you ask the landlord whether he/she has any other properties, or whether they can recommend another landlord?

Purplepoodle · 13/07/2014 23:24

Only thing I would say is that you need to check with the landlord that they are happy for you to have three kids in their two bed house

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 13/07/2014 23:26

Yes, it sounds perfectly workable.

I would use the larger of the two downstairs rooms as a living space and the smaller as a bedroom for your eldest.

You have the smaller upstairs room and put the two younger in the other. If there are problems, you then have the option to swap rooms and you share with DD.

Pumpkinpositive · 13/07/2014 23:27

You can't sleep in the living room on a permanent basis; where would you put your things?

Plenty do.

Re the kitchen/dining room situation, a gateleg folding table in the living room might sort the issue.

Purplepoodle · 13/07/2014 23:28

As for layout I would go with yourself and dd sharing then your other sons in the bedroom and dining room. You could easily put a bunk bed in your and dd room, make it super girly.

If you need to leave dh now then it's a good stop gap.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 13/07/2014 23:28

One bathroom Pumpkin (and only a bath, no shower!) and one set of bunk beds.
It was a squash to say the least, when DiL moved in (was due to some horrendous happenings at home, and was always going to be temporary, and ended up being six months) but even before she came, there were seven of us.

D0oinMeCleanin · 13/07/2014 23:31

Take the house.

My two wanted their own room when we left ex but our perfect "for now" house came up (right area, LL takes pets and HB claimants, close to school and their friends)

They are happier. I am happier. It's given me space to breathe and time to save up a deposit for a more suitable house later. After my initial 6 months it's a monthly rolling contract.

I'm going to start looking at 3 beds after Christmas.

My sister has a 3 bed with 4 kids, my other sister and her baby often stay over. All the kids are happy. That's all that counts.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/07/2014 23:32

You do know that plenty of families manage with just a small kitchen and a lounge don't you Imperial. A separate dining room is by no means essential or standard - no matter how titchy your kitchen.

D0oinMeCleanin · 13/07/2014 23:35

You couldn't swing a cat in my kitchen.

We do have a dining room though. It's big enough for a bed and a dining table. There was talk at one point of my sister, he partner and their baby setting up camp in there temporarily if he got a job down here.

Plus lots of people eat in their lounge/sitting room.

When my kids have friends over I encourage them to eat upstairs out of my way and pretend it's a treat

HicDraconis · 13/07/2014 23:36

Your younger two can share for at least the next 4 years I'd have thought (until 10/11 or so).

Alternatively could the boys have the upstairs rooms and you & your DD share the larger of the 2 downstairs rooms? You can then use the other downstairs room as living/eating space.

Another option (depends on how big the upstairs rooms are!) is that boys share one and you & DD share the other, and one of the downstairs rooms is used as a playing/living area, the other as eating.

Basically - it can be done. And if you need to get out, you can make it work.

williaminajetfighter · 13/07/2014 23:50

I'm not sure I could move knowing that I would inevitably need to move again so soon. Moving is both unsettling and expensive. I think I would hold out for a 3 bed even if it means you have to compromise on location.

I also think any LL would object to 4 people in a 2 bed house and may reject your application on those grounds.

Not trying to be a downer but if you are going to move try to do it just once.

Pumpkinpositive · 13/07/2014 23:52

One bathroom Pumpkin (and only a bath, no shower!) and one set of bunk beds.

I doff my cap at you, madam.

D0oinMeCleanin · 13/07/2014 23:55

Have you ever been in unhappy relationship William?

Moving a million times would've been far easier and less stressful than spending another second with my twat of an ex.

I can't speak for OP of course, but leaving a relationship is never easy. I am sure she has bloody good reasons to leave. If she is even half as unhappy as I was moving to a 1 room bedsit with all of her kids would better for her than staying where she is.

I found moving to be fairly easy too, but then we had no stuff to move, so just had all of our new furniture delivered to our new home. Maybe next time we move it'll be harder because we'll have things to move

Only you know how urgent your move is, OP, but it is do-able if it's what you need to do.

thebigfoo · 13/07/2014 23:56

It's doable but not ideal.

5 of us live in a tiny 2 up, 2 down terrace. It's hard work and tough in many ways.

Sorry but from personal experience, I wouldn't do it.

Xmasbaby11 · 13/07/2014 23:58

No it's way too small and not fair on anyone. Recipe for disaster. Keep looking.

MidniteScribbler · 14/07/2014 00:01

I wouldn't sleep in a lounge room. It would drive me crazy having to put the bed out every night, and you could never sleep in or go to bed early.

I would put your oldest son in the smallest room upstairs, your other two in the largest bedroom, and turn the dining room in to your bedroom. At least that way you have some private space of your own and having the kids all upstairs means that once they go to bed you can have the rest of the place essentially to yourself. Don't discount having your own space as being unimportant. You need your own space as well.

LackaDAISYcal · 14/07/2014 00:06

why on earth would a LL object to four people in a 2 bed house? I would think that 2 beds are meant for four people.

I agree that you can make it work. Boys in one room and you and DD in the other, or Little ones sharing, DS1 in his own room and you downstairs.

For me though, I would keep the downstairs for everyone and do the sharing bedrooms thing. they don't need their own bedroom, it's just somewhere to sleep.

goats · 14/07/2014 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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