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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect more organisation at a wedding?

76 replies

CantGetABloodyTaxi · 13/07/2014 20:37

Just got back from a wedding this weekend.

Ceremony was in a village church. Reception was 30 mins drive away in a stately home a good 15 mins drive from the nearest town. No one staying at the venue, pretty much everyone staying in hotels in the nearest town. Don't think any of the guests lived near the venue or knew the local town - venue was picked to be equal travelling for most family and guests.

Pretty much all the guests drive to the church, then drive to the town near the venue, dump the cars and get taxis to the venue so they can have a good time.

Come 11ish, as the party stands winding down, people start casually asking best man and bridesmaids if there's any transport back into the town. There's not. Which is fine, everyone just starts Googling taxi numbers and calling - only to find out there are no taxis available until 3am. Venue closes at midnight...

Best man is going frantic trying to sort it out and not let the bride and groom know. Only one or two staff at the venue actually worked there (rather than being outside catering) and they were pissed off - my impression being they were annoyed/surprised the wedding party/planner hadn't thought about this - another friend's impression was they were annoyed that they'd have to stay until 3 when everyone could leave.

It ended up with the poor few people who did drive to the venue ferrying everyone around at midnight!

AIBU to think that someone at some point in the planning, whether it was someone from the wedding party or someone from the venue, should have mentioned it's in the middle of nowhere, on a Saturday night, and relying on local taxis wouldn't work?

(Also realised afterwards that no one had had an invitation with details on, not a problem really but a invite with hotels and transport etc could have easily highlighted that people should pre-book cabs)

(Oh, and also have nc for this as it would out be immediately!!)

OP posts:
nilbyname · 13/07/2014 20:41

I think that if you dump your car and get pissed then you ought to be thinking about how you're getting home later.

It all sounds a bit fanciful really...not one person png the way thought, oh let's book a cab, or lets ask the bride if there is a curtesy bus? Weird.

Poor planning on everyone's part!

squoosh · 13/07/2014 20:41

YANBU.

They were very shortsighted not to think of transport. But what wedding reception winds down at 11pm? I wouldn't traipse across the country for some half baked night out.

FantasticMax · 13/07/2014 20:42

All weddings I have been to have specified on the invite if transport to and from the venue will be provided.

Seeing as it sounds like this wasn't mentioned, I'd have assumed there would be none out on. Surely it's the responsibility of the guest to think about how they are getting back to their hotel, once they had ditched their car?

nilbyname · 13/07/2014 20:42

op did you book a cab or check your invite?

Monopolice · 13/07/2014 20:42

How were the B&G planning on getting to where they were staying?

guitarosauras · 13/07/2014 20:43

Agree that if you dump your car and drink you should already have planned how to get home and not assumed someone was going to sort it for you.

Original poster
CantGetABloodyTaxi · 13/07/2014 20:44

Grin squoosh

I know what you mean, nilby. I'm torn. On one hand yes, you dump your car so you know you'll have to find another way back. On the other hand, if you're planning bring all your family and friends to an area no one knows, wouldn't it cross your mind?

Or more, I think, maybe the wedding or event planner at the venue should have pointed out to them that the venue's in the middle of bloody nowhere and so things need organising. I'm thinking more it's the venue's fault (and it is a proper place that holds weddings all the time) for not mentioning it. Surely they could have a tie-up with a local coach firm and everyone makes money from kick-backs?

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 13/07/2014 20:46

I'm generally the first to screech 'bridezilla' but you don't get pissed at any venue and not consider how you're going to get home until the end of the night.

You knew where the venue was, you knew where you were staying and you knew no one had said there was complimentary transport- the result is your problem.

Billygoats · 13/07/2014 20:47

Would you not prebook a taxi for a wedding venue? Ringing at 11pm for a taxi is a bit last minute and most wedding venues are in remote locations that's the beauty of them.

I don't think it's the wedding parties duty to make sure you get a taxi. YABU.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 13/07/2014 20:47

Unless the bride and groom actually stated in their invited that transport would be provided why on earth would guests think their had been? I think it's odd that guests dumped their cars and then waited til the end of the night to think about how they were getting back.

Plus you al knew where the party was so it's location shouldn't have come as a surprise.

Trills · 13/07/2014 20:50

If the guests were told what time that reception ended, I'd expect them to have already thought about how they were getting home (or back to their hotels).

I do find weddings in the middle of nowhere rather irritating, but I'd never assume that someone else was responsible for getting me home.

Scholes34 · 13/07/2014 20:50

Depends where you've come from and what you're used to. I remember once going to Cornwall out of season from London and wondering why all the restaurants were closing early - little demand mid-week, yet it had't crossed my mind that it could be like this. Possibly it was the same for all the wedding guests who may have been used to taxis available on demand, so didn't think twice about the need to book.

However, anyone making intricate plans for a wedding should have anticipated a large number of people might be needing transport around about midnight.

Original poster
CantGetABloodyTaxi · 13/07/2014 20:51

There was no invite. I assumed I'd lost ours as we moved house recently, but then when we got there it turned out that no one had had a longer invite.

Don't know how the b&g and their family were travelling - everyone was trying to keep this hidden from them so didn't ask.

We've been to a lot of weddings in random venues like this as people just seem to be spread out throughout the country, and so far I think all/most have had those long invites that recommend hotels and talk about transportation etc. So we all assumed that if there were problems with transport the longer invite would mention this. But then maybe all my friends who've got married recently have just been insanely organised Grin

Writing this out and as my hangover clears I think it's the venue's event planner. The cars that were parked were parked about ten minutes walk from the venue itself and the few staff that were there were really ungrateful about walking everyone to the car park, which they had to do as there were no lights and no signs anyway!

So if you're a wedding planner at an out-of-the-way venue, I'd say you need to tell your b&g "by the way, it's a bit difficult getting transport late at night so we can help you plan that."

OP posts:
Namechangearoonie123 · 13/07/2014 20:51

It wouldn't occur to me that there were no taxis available

That makes no sense. There clearly were taxis so folk should have booked them.

Nothing to do with the bridal party.

quietbatperson · 13/07/2014 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MimiSunshine · 13/07/2014 20:54

If no mention of transport has been made then why on earth would anyone expect there to be? Maybe the B&G could have instructed guests to book taxis on the invites but they probably assumed their guests were grown adults who could think for themselves.

Say there had been but it was a surprise Hmm and the guests booked taxis only to be told they hadn't needed to would everyone not be asking why they weren't told?

Bearbehind · 13/07/2014 20:54

Your last post made no sense OP- have you laid off the G&T's yet?

Original poster
CantGetABloodyTaxi · 13/07/2014 20:54

Scholes - yes, that's it, it's the same sort of scenario. I'll admit that we live in areas where taxis are on demand, and so did some of the other guests we chatted to (it wasn't just us that hadn't thought it through, from the stressed faces whispering in corners away from the b&g, it was a good half the guests) And when you don't know an area it's difficult to work out from a map just how 'middle of nowhere' you are actually going to be.

On Google Maps it actually looked like you could probably wander back on foot!

OP posts:
MrsD0nnaLyman · 13/07/2014 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsize · 13/07/2014 20:55

OP, are you from London by any chance? Or some other city whose residents assume the rest of the country is just like that city in terms of transport links?
not that I am still aggrieved by being majorly put upon recently by two clueless londoners

clairemum22 · 13/07/2014 20:57

I feel sorry for the bride and groom getting the blame for this. Everybody knew where the venue was, why didn't people research and book taxis beforehand! How many taxis firms are likely to be based in the middle of nowhere, surely it's obvious that supply will be limited! You knew the nearest town was fifteen minutes away as you'd already booked hotels.

MrsD0nnaLyman · 13/07/2014 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 13/07/2014 20:59

I was once at a wedding where the bride's dad got pissed out of his skull, tried to start fisticuffs with the groom's father, ordered everyone off his land and refused to let any of the guests (including elderly aunts and uncles) on the bus that had been hired for the event.

We had to walk back to the hotel down country lanes. How we laughed.

chesterberry · 13/07/2014 20:59

It seems bad luck that there were no taxis available until 3am but why did nobody try and pre-book a taxi before then? If the venue closed at midnight then I don't get why people wouldn't even consider transport until 11pm. People should have pre-booked their taxis earlier in the evening and then either there would have still been taxis available or they would have had more time to consider other possibilities.

I don't think it is up to the wedding party to arrange transport for people to/from the venue (unless they state that this will be included), if you decide to leave your car and get a taxi to a venue the onus should be on you to think about how you will get back. If I was getting a taxi to a venue I would probably chat to the driver and book my taxi home at the same time, or at least gauge from him whether getting a taxi at the required time would be a problem. I really am surprised nobody at the whole venue even considered that there might be a problem trying to organise enough taxis to ferry an entire wedding reception from the middle of nowhere on a Saturday night without pre-booking.

Ragwort · 13/07/2014 20:59

I agree with you, I think the wedding planner (what sort of a job is that anyway Hmm) should have made it absolutely clear to the B & G that transport late at night could be a problem. People who live in busy areas really have no idea how 'rural' some places are - reminds me of my God-daughter who needed to catch a train to London from our local two trains a day station - she said, 'don't worry, drop me at the station early, I can grab a coffee' Grin Grin - it was an unmanned station in the middle of nowhere, no ticket office let alone a coffee shop Grin.