To think DD is being silly?

[mumtoateen]

DD requested a French manicure with my home gel nail kit, did it begrudgingly, she's 15 and I think it's ridiculous to do that to your nails at that age, plus it takes time and effort and she's not going out anywhere to show it off.
She's then asked for acrylic nails after her school term has ended, before we go on a canal holiday- lots of physical work, and probably broken nails. She's now upset I said no.
AIBU to think she's too young for these things?

TARTY Having nice nails is tarty?

I feel quite sorry for you OP. You seem to be lost in the past and looking down your nose at others who you don't like. That's quite sad. Hope your judgy pants don't hurt you too much the way you may end up hurt your daughter and your relationship with her.

You do know that very very soon your dd will not want to spend any time at all with you, and if you push her away and disrespect her so much she might stop engaging with you at all for a long long time, the moment she can control her own life, and mix with people who value her.

High prices for something she won't like. She's had them got her cousins wedding, took them off the second it ended (in the taxi home), she has said she thinks they look tarty before but wants them now everyone is getting them.
She's also admitted she isn't popular, and regularly jokes about it. She also likes not being popular as "I'd rather have a few friends who know me well than loads who don't."
She's admitted all these things herself, and is open about them. She also has no money.

And how come a French manicure is cool on you but tarty on a teenager? Its a classic nail treatment, and has been around for decades. It is restrained and rather elegant.

I would be applauding her taste and discrimination.

Look on the bright side, OP, as soon as she is able she'll be up and gone like a fart in the wind.

Yabu. She's 15. Do you not let her have any say in anything?

You'd have her working which puts her in a position to he taken the piss out of by other staff (given shitty jobs and everything no one else wants to do) and if it's public facing, dealing with lewd comments and abuse. But her nails you have a problem
With?

I don't use it for a french manicure. There are many colours that come with it, and a french manicure kit was included free.
She thinks fake nails are tarty, as do I, NOT a french manicure. I just don't think it's appropriate, considering the fact she is working in a Catholic primary school for the next week on work experience.

Yabu

why does she have no money?

Do you not give her a little something every week? Obviously if you are not financially able to give her an allowance that is another issue.

And she is doing childcare, or did I get that wrong? Surely she is being paid for that?

We do give her money, but she spends it on Ebooks and such.
She wishes to babysit in the summer, but isn't at the moment.

She's unemployable
She's a tart
She's unpopular
She can't even look after a couple of kids adequately
She thinks a French manicure is popular wear for a teenager in 2014

This ^^. (Thecageisfull)

also she's 15. She doesn't necessarily believe what she says you know....

So you don't think its tarty but you begrudged her the French manicure anyway?

Is she allowed a flick of mascara, some coloured lip balm?

Is she allowed to choose her own clothes?

Oh what a pile of shite.

As if someone would complain about their nice polite kid who buys ebooks

Ffs

Oh are Catholics against nail polish now? I went to church wearing some this morning. The priest did not call me a tart

I didn't say she was a tart, I said she would look like one (as she has said in one of her rants about the 'slutty' girls at her school (hilarious I might add) )
I stated she's applied to 20 jobs and had no replies. I never said she was unemployable. Just because she hasn't had replies means nothing, I'm putting it down to her age.

so does she want acrylics or does she think they are tarty?

as do you.

eh? why would you begrudge your daughter the time and effort it takes you to do her nails? TBH it sounds like you're the one who thinks it's only worth doing them if you can show them off, not her.

Lots of mothers have long, fake fingernails and manage perfectly fine. If you're paying for them I don't think YABU to suggest she might want to get them done at a time when they will last longer (i.e. not before a canal-boat holiday) but if she understands the consequences (more likelihood of breakages) and wants to do it then that's her decision.

Why don't you enjoy spending that french manicure time with your daughter?

You sound horrible.

E books
Baby sitting

What's the problem.
Would you rather she drank, did drugs, slept around, skipped school etc

She's working in a religious school with young children, with a pretty obvious manicure. Her teachers (secondary) are not allowed nail varnish, and she doesn't attend a religious school. I thought it wouldn't be allowed.

You sound like an utter delight. It's only nails ffs and she's a teenager. Poor girl.

Well I agree with the OP. I don't see why she should pay for acrylics that she knows will last a day (if that).

I'd suggest OP's dd gets on with the babysitting and saves up. By the time she has enough money she might have changed her mind anyway.

I can't see why the OP is getting such a hard time just because she doesn't want to waste her money.

wow! she's got some lovely positive messages and ideas running round her head - maybe stop worrying about her nails so much and start investing in her self image

Good grooming is a part of growing up.

Its about adult self care.

It doesn't even have to be about make up.

But it is vital for anyone's self esteem that they value themselves enough to take care of themselves and how they present to the world.

And you need to stop drip feeding. First she is going on a strenuous canal holiday. Now she is also volunteering in a strict catholic school. Looking after young children (not I hope unsupervised at her age though) Any more practical reasons why she should not have the acrylic manicure? Has she got an absailing holiday lined up also? Voluntary work weeding the local cemetery? A touch typing course?

Let her grow up. Oh, and please don't call 15 year olds who have their nails done tarty, so insulting. My 15 year old daughter had acrylic nails on her birthday and she doesn't look like a tart (which is a nasty, women hating word).

YouTheCat, thank you. i realise I worded it wrong, but she picked them off the day after she had them last time, and her cousins wasted £50+ on them. i don't want her to waste her money. It's also impractical (she loves cooking, babysits a lot, gets involved in lots of games with the kids).
I was short on time, we are decorating and she expected me to do her nails. I'm obviously not going to like it.