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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not let someone go ahead of me at the checkout

136 replies

spababe · 13/07/2014 13:02

OK so I was shopping at Lidl and had a small trolley full of groceries. There were only 3 checkouts open so we all had to queue. The woman behind me asked if she could go ahead of me as she only had a couple of things. I asked her if there was any particular reason and she said no so I pointed out I had to queue too and she backed down.

It felt as if she was saying her time was more important than mine. She had no special reason eg had to catch a train so why should I let her go ahead and queue jump me?

OP posts:
miffybun73 · 13/07/2014 20:13

I people only have a couple of things then I always suggest that they go ahead of me.

I've never had anyone actually ask me though.

hollycomputer · 13/07/2014 20:18

I've let people with just a couple of items go ahead of me. I've even offered rather than waiting for them to ask. Mainly because I don't really care if it means I spend another two minutes queuing and I like to be nice to people.

I sometimes offer to let them use their loyalty card on my shopping too because I don't have/want one and it amuses me to think that using it on a random load of shopping will upset the supermarkets' data gathering.

CrohnicallyExhausted · 13/07/2014 20:21

I often offer in Lidl- I do a full weekly shop there so if someone comes along with a basket while I'm still unloading my trolley, I let them in front. Why not, it doesn't hold me up any. I'd still have to finish unloading before the checkout staff can start ringing up.

The only times I don't let people in front is if I've already unloaded and need to get home quickly because I am unwell. Sometimes I feel guilty and like I ought to explain myself! And I wouldn't offer in normal supermarkets, there are far more checkouts, some basket only, some express. Whereas Lidl/Aldi often only have 1 checkout open at the time I usually shop.

And in return, I've had people offer to let me in when I only have one item and a screaming toddler in tow.

ObfusKate · 13/07/2014 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

icanmakeyouicecream · 13/07/2014 20:21

I probably would have let her go, although you are not being unreasonable.

Julius02 · 13/07/2014 20:27

I would always offer to let someone with a couple of items go in front of me if I had a trolley full - to me it's just courtesy and kindness. I don't remember ever being asked but maybe that's because I would offer.

I'm quite surprised at how many people on here wouldn't do it. I like to treat people as I would wish to be treated.

SweetsForMySweet · 13/07/2014 20:31

I would have let her go ahead if she had only a few items and I had a trolley of stuff but it's just a goodwill gesture and good manners. I have been in both situations where I have been in the que and someone has let me go ahead because they had lots of stuff and I had two items and I have a trolley of stuff and let a person behind with only a few items go ahead.

StealthPolarBear · 13/07/2014 20:33

Granny I love that story!

roastednut · 13/07/2014 20:34

I would always offer and have asked once (it was a massively full trolley in front of me and I had one item).

Even when I've had a horrible long day at work, and need to get home with food for dinner, I would still let someone in front of me. It feels good and adds about 1 minute on to my shop time.

I can't really imagine what goes through people's heads to get arsey about this. What worra said is maybe the case, or just general rudeness and unkindness to other people.

Billygoats · 13/07/2014 20:34

If I'm in aldi/lidl or any of the supermarkets with no self service and few checkouts I always let someone with a couple of items go ahead If I'm there with my weekly shop.

Last week I was buying one pack of nappies and had to wait for a man to unload his entire trolley onto the belt and pay without offering I just go ahead. I'm too much of a wimp to ask to go ahead.

CokeFan · 13/07/2014 20:40

I think this happens more often in Aldi because there's no space for your shopping after it's been scanned so you've got to empty your trolley completely before they can start processing your shopping (otherwise you're not there to catch the stuff that they fling at you).

If someone arrives behind you who only has a few items and you're still unpacking then it makes sense for them to go ahead of you. It won't necessarily hold you up at all because you could still be unpacking when they've been scanned, paid and left.

Incidentally, someone who I let go ahead of me in Aldi once gave me £1.

ThrowAChickenInTheAir · 13/07/2014 20:44

I usually offer but asking is rather rude.

WeAllHaveWings · 13/07/2014 20:46

dawndonnaagain Sun 13-Jul-14 13:35:40
Shame, you had an opportunity to be nice, and you weren't.

^this

A normal everyday choice was presented to you and you had the opportunity, with very little effort required, to be nice and walk out of Lidl feeling good as you did a good thing for someone else.

Or, choose not be helpful and walk out of Lidl feeling like someone was trying to take advantage of you and you stopped them and then going on MN to get confirmation you were right!

You would have felt much better if you had been nice......

OooOooTheMonkey · 13/07/2014 20:57

YANBU. What a cheeky bitch! I suppose though if you don't ask you don't get, so she maybe wasn't BU to ask but you were definitely not BU by saying no. I think it was nice of you to ask if there was a reason. I'd have probably just told her to fuck off and not given her situation a second thought! But I'm mean Confused

londonrach · 13/07/2014 21:02

I offer if someone got one or two item. Doubt I'd do it if asked. I remember in Lldl once I let a young lad come in front with one drink. When we got to the front cashier ignored him and just started on my stuff. He only 11 if that and quiet so I spoke up and cashier did him first. Why do some people never see children....

PuppyMonkey · 13/07/2014 21:04

But it's all part of Aldi and Lidl etiquette to allow someone with only a few items in front of you if you have a trolley.

You need to read the rule book if you're going to shop in these shops. YABU and you should probably stick to normal supermarkets in order to avoid this situation again.

The woman was probably just more familiar with the etiquette than you are, she wasn't being rude.

Silverdaisy · 13/07/2014 21:05

The last time I offered a lady with one pint of milk in her hand to go ahead of my basket it had to wait for - her paying her electric,gas. And council tax. Then to add to the waiting time she had a scratch card to cash in (and buy replacement cards). My community spirit left me after that. I will have to let people wait now.

GatoradeMeBitch · 13/07/2014 21:59

When I'm in the queue with a trolley I'll offer to let the person with the basket behind me go first.

But that backfired once because there were several people with baskets, and basket 3 and basket 4 were pissed off that I only let basket 1 through - like I was going to go and wheel my trolley to the end of the queue for their convenience!

lozster · 13/07/2014 23:26

This time last year I was 38 weeks pregnant with a bump so large I was being tested for gestational diabetes, legs swollen to resemble tree trunks and only able to be in Lidl as the trolley was holding me up. Entitled lady grasping armful of goods sweeps up says 'I can go ahead can't I?' and when I hesitated proceeded to ask the couple in front of me to go in front of them. Who were all smiles as they graciously waved her through blithely unaware of huge pregnant lady now having to wait l

lozster · 13/07/2014 23:31

... My point being that the person at the head of the queue is decision making for everyone behind them, who may have their own reason for wanting to minimise their wait,when they let someone in.

There is no norm in Aldi or Lidl that you must let people in. In my experience serving in shops, it is the paying that takes up time not the scanning so I will always queue behind one large load rather than 3 small ones.

BackforGood · 13/07/2014 23:59

Pretty normal to let people in front with a couple of items in our Aldi. I've been the person that lets people in many times, and occasionally I@ve been let in. It happens all the time. Only polite.
The only tricky bit is if you have a trolley and then there are 3 or 4 people behind you with only a couple of items, in which case people are usually understanding.

Happy36 · 14/07/2014 01:28

I let people go in front if they have a couple of items and I have more than 10 or so, especially if I can see they´re holding cash to pay with. People do it to me too. However no one´s ever asked to go in front of me.

In Lidl the queues are always huge so I don´t think I would be in a hurry to let someone skip the queue for no apparent reason. You are not being unreasonable.

Bursarymum · 14/07/2014 01:31

YANBU - I think she was rude to ask if there was not a specific reason why. As you say, why should she have priority over you without a reason?

PhaedraIsMyName · 14/07/2014 01:35

If I'm buying a full trolley and the person behind me has only 2 or 3 items I offer to let them go first. It takes less than a minute of my time.

PhaedraIsMyName · 14/07/2014 01:41

But it's all part of Aldi and Lidl etiquette to allow someone with only a few items in front of you if you have a trolley

I've never been in either of these shops If there are huge/unmanned tills at the supposedly faster baskets only queues in M&S or Waitrose I let people with a few items go in front of me. My local Waitrose has no self scan.