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Original poster

To not let someone go ahead of me at the checkout

136 replies

spababe · 13/07/2014 13:02

OK so I was shopping at Lidl and had a small trolley full of groceries. There were only 3 checkouts open so we all had to queue. The woman behind me asked if she could go ahead of me as she only had a couple of things. I asked her if there was any particular reason and she said no so I pointed out I had to queue too and she backed down.

It felt as if she was saying her time was more important than mine. She had no special reason eg had to catch a train so why should I let her go ahead and queue jump me?

OP posts:
Staywithme · 13/07/2014 14:56

I hate the fact that some shoppers feel that they should be entitled to go ahead of you because they only have a couple of items. I think I would be less inclined if someone asked as I Would find that very forward, bordering on rude as they assume you will say yes. If I have a big shop it's because I'm trying to lessen the number of times I'm going to the shop.

In saying that I will offer if the shop is very busy and there's no express tills or self service and I'm not in a hurry, which is very rare. I think some people go to the isles with the trolley shoppers in the hope they'll be let through rather than queue at the express tills. My time, even if it is just a couple of minutes, is just as important as theirs.

mymoonandstars · 13/07/2014 14:58

Had you asked me for a reason, I probably would have answered you with "Kindness."

rideyourbike · 13/07/2014 14:59

I hate it when someone has loads of stuff and I only have 2 things and they don't invite me to go in front of them. I don't usually ask to though, I just stare at the back of their head thinking how inconsiderate they are! As a person who shops little and often it's very frustrating.

whatwhatinthewhatnow · 13/07/2014 15:11

I'd have let her go first. Its just being nice, innit.

Staywithme · 13/07/2014 15:12

I don't have time to shop little and often so I do a big shop in one go.

Andrewofgg · 13/07/2014 15:17

Even at the machines you sometimes get asked. It depends how I am feeling, how busy I am, how many items in my trolley and the next, and if I am asked whether the asker's needs are obviously greater than mine: kids in tow, visibly pg, disabled. If asked in an entitled way: No.

Staywithme · 13/07/2014 15:24

Andrew

If asked in an entitled way: No.

You hit the nail on the head. There's also the ones practically shoving the items in front of your face as if to say, "hi! Can't you see I've only a few items, lemme go before you". They're the ones I won't let through.

SarahAndFuck · 13/07/2014 15:30

Ive never been asked but sometimes I have offered.

Usually by asking the person behind me "Is that all you are getting?" and if they say yes I let them go in front.

I've seen people let someone else holding a couple of items go ahead and then watched as a husband or wife has suddenly joined them with half the shop crammed into a trolley.

It's the luck of the draw though, with queues. Having a couple of things doesn't give you an automatic right to go ahead of someone with more things than you or give them an automatic responsibility to look at you and offer or let you if you ask.

It's why shops have basket only lines or checkouts for a certain amount of items but if those facilities aren't offered or are busier than a normal checkout then you just have to wait your turn like everybody else if nobody notices your shopping and offers to swap places.

grannytomine · 13/07/2014 15:39

MaloryArcher, that brings back memories. My DD was a Christmas baby and I was in a queue at the supermarket with a full trolley and a 39 week bump. As it was just a week before Christmas the shop was busy and queues were long.

Two lovely women in front of me said I could go in front of them and then unpacked my trolley and packed my shopping. It was so lovely I could have cried, when I thanked them they told me they were midwives and had just finished a shift and thought if I had to wait much longer they might have to do another delivery before they went home. I laughed so much they nearly had to.

diddl · 13/07/2014 15:48

I think that it's really cheeky to ask tbh.

Wait your turn like everyone else!

I offer sometimes.

Sometimes I don't notice how many or few items the person behind me has!

needaholidaynow · 13/07/2014 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HolgerDanske · 13/07/2014 16:00

I let people ahead of me all the time if they only have a couple of items. But I probably would find it a little annoying if someone would ask me to do so unless they had a fairly good reason. They should be patient like everyone else...

MostlyMama · 13/07/2014 16:00

I didn't have a choice in Aldi a couple of days ago, the lady in question came down the opposite end of the checkout lane Hmm albeit with one item, and did ask so to speak but at that point what can you really say other than fuck off

TruJay · 13/07/2014 16:15

I usually offer if they only have a few bits but have never been asked.

I have once asked myself, was in Next 20 mins before my wedding getting my brother some shoes as he decided to let me know then that he needed new ones! I had all my make up done, hair done, tiara on haha I was very polite and said to the lady "would it be ok if i went ahead as I'm getting married in 20 minutes, my brother decided now is a good time for shoe shopping"
she laughed and said "of course, that is a perfectly good reason to queue jump" and gave my brother a joking telling off!
Was a good story to tell in the speeches and such a TruJay family thing to do!

Finney2 · 13/07/2014 17:04

The etiquette for these things in Lidl and Aldi is different because the servers are always so incredibly quick. I always let people in front of me (have even let 2 or 3 in front in the past) if they've not got much because it's usually only literally an extra 30 second wait. I wouldn't do it in other supermarkets though.

Littlef00t · 13/07/2014 17:31

I once let someone with their couple of items go in front, then by the time they had nearly finished, some guy with 1 item asked, and not v politely. I didn't feel I could say no, but the etiquette is certainly to offer and not ask.

monkeywrench · 13/07/2014 19:44

When i lived in Portugal and was pregnant the Lidl checkout people would invite ME to the front of the queue in front of everyone else, they would all have to shuffle there stuff back, and I had checkouts opened specially too (they also did that for the old folk too) and then shut again after serving me, they are very nice to pregnant ladies there (and when kids were little too) so I never had to ask anyone.
Now, in Germany, my kids are bigger, if I have them with me and they are being a PITA then no way would i let anyone in front, but I also don't think anyone would dare ask, but if they are behaving or I am alone, then I pretty much always offer to someone with less behind me (unless I am about to miss the bus) sometimes to more than one person if I have a trolley full.
I like to think what goes around comes around, and someone will let me go in front when i need it.
Oh and pregnant woman or people with stressy kids i always ask them to go in front of me, sometimes even if they have a lot of stuff, more than me. I know how it feels to have the screaming kid at the checkout and you just wanna get out ASAP!

CrohnicallyExhausted · 13/07/2014 19:58

I remember the only time I was asked by someone if they could go in front.(We had similar numbers of items in our trolleys, he was around 50-60 I'd guess so not elderly, I was around 6 months pregnant).

He asked 'can I go in front? I'm older than you are'

So I said 'sorry, but no, I'm more pregnant than you are!'

kslatts · 13/07/2014 20:00

Unless I was in a rush I would of let her go in front if I had a trolley full and she only had a couple of items.

theendoftheendoftheend · 13/07/2014 20:01

I'd have offered. Its common courtesy.

chanie44 · 13/07/2014 20:04

I knew OP was going to refer to lidl as I always get asked by middle aged non-British men* if they can go ahead of me.

Recently I had about 20 items and a man (above example) asked to go ahead of me. I refused because he had already jumped ahead of me before I could answer. Plus, I had two whingey pre-schoolers with me and I'm quick at the checkouts anyway.

chanie44 · 13/07/2014 20:06
  • I live in a diverse area but I was wondering if it's more acceptable to ask in other countries.
Needadvice5 · 13/07/2014 20:06

I always let people go in front if they only have a couple of items, life is far too short to be rude to folk.

merrydebs · 13/07/2014 20:09

I agree life's too short! Can't believe there's an issue here. ok, so she asked if she could go in front, so what?

CuntCourtIsInSession · 13/07/2014 20:11

I honestly don't believe anyone does 'offer to let someone go ahead of them' in real life, as based on the number of people who say they "would offer", and the fact that as a non-driver I am in and out of supermarkets multiple times weekly with just a few items, I would have had these kind offers on many occasions. Instead I have never heard of this!

And I thought British people were supposed to be really rigid about queuing? You've all ruined my stereotype spreadsheet. Grin