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AIBU?

That this reaction has riled me still

66 replies

IscreamUscream · 12/07/2014 22:29

I'm still riled at this womens reaction to her husband crashing his car into the back of mine at speed whilst it had two kids in the car. He had been behind us for half a mile and could see that kids were in the back seat as mine is an old car with a low back screen.
After impact the kids were screaming so I pulled the car into a safer position and my friend in the passenger seat tried to calm the kids down. The driver and his partner got out and started shouting at me that it was my fault, to which I said I have two kids in the car, his partner then came up to my face and said "so what". At that point she really riled me by her reaction of "so what" . The kids had hurt their necks and back and eventually had to be cut out of the car by the roof being taken off my car. The kids were taken to hospital and were okay in the end just a bit sore. But she has really pissed me off with her reaction. Aibu

OP posts:

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londonrach · 13/07/2014 19:19

Awful. I hope you all ok. If he went in the back it's totally his fault. He behaved badly but shock can do that as can guilt. Tbh it does matter who was in the back, children or adults. The fact it was children is irrelevant. Those in the back were hurt due to his actions. Leave it to the police and insurance people to sort it out. How the children now?

BurningBridges · 13/07/2014 19:20

So this sounds like a pretty major accident, with the road closed etc? I'm not doubting OP at all but I don't understand why the police then let the persons who are likely to have caused the accident just stand there, gloating. Normally you see people being taken away, others at the side of the road leaning on their car upset, or ringing someone to let them know they'll be late - the police need accident investigators to come out and look at the road, I'd just expect all this to be happening, not those involved in the crash just hanging around spectating on the rescue efforts.

Any police or ambulance people reading, why was this allowed?

DownstairsMixUp · 13/07/2014 19:26

How awful. I've only had one accident thank god with DS in the back (someone went into the back of us slow moving traffic) we were all fine and thankfully the guy was very apolgetic. I'm hoping couples like this are rare!

phantomnamechanger · 13/07/2014 19:37

there are some real arseholes about. sorry you had the misfortune to meet one in such stressful circumstances OP
I've told this one before but DH cycles to the station every day, all kitted out with helmet & lights and hi viz jacket -in 30+ years of cycling on the roads he has been in ONE accident - knocked off his bike by a driver who immediately leapt out of his car and what was the first thing he said? Not OMG are you OK, I'm so sorry etc. NO. "IT WAS YOUR FAULT". To a cyclist, who has just flown onto his bonnet smashing the windscreen and landed on all fours on the road. DHs helmet was cracked right down the middle and the hospital said it probably saved his life.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 13/07/2014 19:37

A vast majority of the time, if your car is rear-ended, it will be the fault of the driver in the back car (the one that rear-ended yours). It will be considered that he was not driving with due care and attention, as if he was, regardless of your stopping or slowing down, he would have had enough time to do so as well (hence why loads of reminders on the motorways for people to leave enough space between cars) without any impact. So I wouldn't think you would need to stress about that.

Glad your dcs are okay.

phantomnamechanger · 13/07/2014 19:39

Oh and just to clarify, it was not in any way shape or form DHs fault!
The prat of a driver was flashed out by someone going the opposite direction to DH, but he did not look in DH direction and pulled straight out of a junction into DHs path.

Whatisaweekend · 13/07/2014 20:01

What arseholes!! Hope you take them to the bloody cleaners!!

Glad your kids are ok, if a little sore and shaken.

lampygirl · 13/07/2014 20:07

I have never been in a car accident, but I will say that I don't like people who instantly use their DCs as a 'bargaining point'. The other people were twats, entirely their fault etc, but your response to them should have related to their driving and not the fact you had kids in the car. He's crashed into you, it's his fault and he should face the consequences but the crime isn't made worse because you have children.

YANBU to be annoyed she got all in your face, I'd probably have punched her, but to be fair it is irrelevant to the crime who is in the car. Is it more acceptable if he smashes into the back of a single male in his 20s??

In glad your DCs are OK, just as I'd be glad if it was your mum/nan/brother/dog/hamster were OK

IscreamUscream · 13/07/2014 20:11

Have spent today in between tiredness, soreness, dizzy and on and off tears. My ds was sick a couple of times last night with a headache. The officer young and looked as if he was caught in headlights. I did ask him to please ask the couple to leave the scene but they didn't and it upset me even more that they stood there still.
You have al been so kind in your posts thank you.

OP posts:

IscreamUscream · 13/07/2014 20:12

Sorry the officer was young.

OP posts:

IscreamUscream · 13/07/2014 20:14

Lampy use their dc's as a bargaining point. What a thing to say when they had to be cut out.

OP posts:

numptieseverywhere · 13/07/2014 20:17

. What a horrible person she is. Ring an accident helpline and put in a claim for compensation.

cees · 13/07/2014 20:21

What a pair of bastards, hope the kids and you are ok.

IscreamUscream · 13/07/2014 20:35

He really couldn't have been paying attention as he hit us at about twenty miles an hour. To then be a pair of horrible bastards and put the blame on me is shameful.

OP posts:

MrsWedgeAntilles · 13/07/2014 21:09

Burning I witnessed an similar kind of accident and stopped to help.
A pipe had burst and there was ice across the road. When the car in front stopped at the lights the next car skidded on the ice and rammed into the back of the first car.
Unlike with the OP the driver of this car was absolutely hysterical, shaking and crying. Once the emergency services arrived I just sat at the side of the road with that driver, nobody moved us on or anything so it does happen. I got the impression that they were concentrating on the people who may have been hurt, but thankfully weren't.

OP, they sound like they were all bluster. I'd say that in their quiet moments alone they're worrying about what's going to come of this for them and so they should be.

doughballdoughballdoughball · 13/07/2014 21:18

Really sorry to hear this has happened to you. I had a complete twat drive his van at high speed to the back of my car as I was taking the dc swimming earlier this year.

He made it very clear at the scene that he felt it was my fault. Stood having a cigarette as I tried and failed to open the rear doors (which were jammed shut as the chassis was so badly warped in the collision)

He also called his mates and they arrived after a few minutes, all hanging around , starring, look quite menacing and intimidating.

I'm more pissed off by his reaction than the actual accident. I have to drive past the end if his road every single day, and in a constant cold sweat in case I ever find his vehicle behind mine again

His insurance company took immediate responsibility, called me the very next day to arrange a hire car. But I know he was writing to my insurers trying to blame me. Took ages to sort my no claims bonus for my new policy.

Hope things get sorted for you soon

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