That this reaction has riled me still

[IscreamUscream]

I'm still riled at this womens reaction to her husband crashing his car into the back of mine at speed whilst it had two kids in the car. He had been behind us for half a mile and could see that kids were in the back seat as mine is an old car with a low back screen.
After impact the kids were screaming so I pulled the car into a safer position and my friend in the passenger seat tried to calm the kids down. The driver and his partner got out and started shouting at me that it was my fault, to which I said I have two kids in the car, his partner then came up to my face and said "so what". At that point she really riled me by her reaction of "so what" . The kids had hurt their necks and back and eventually had to be cut out of the car by the roof being taken off my car. The kids were taken to hospital and were okay in the end just a bit sore. But she has really pissed me off with her reaction. Aibu

[doughballdoughballdoughball]

Really sorry to hear this has happened to you. I had a complete twat drive his van at high speed to the back of my car as I was taking the dc swimming earlier this year.

He made it very clear at the scene that he felt it was my fault. Stood having a cigarette as I tried and failed to open the rear doors (which were jammed shut as the chassis was so badly warped in the collision)

He also called his mates and they arrived after a few minutes, all hanging around , starring, look quite menacing and intimidating.

I'm more pissed off by his reaction than the actual accident. I have to drive past the end if his road every single day, and in a constant cold sweat in case I ever find his vehicle behind mine again

His insurance company took immediate responsibility, called me the very next day to arrange a hire car. But I know he was writing to my insurers trying to blame me. Took ages to sort my no claims bonus for my new policy.

Hope things get sorted for you soon

[MrsWedgeAntilles]

Burning I witnessed an similar kind of accident and stopped to help.
A pipe had burst and there was ice across the road. When the car in front stopped at the lights the next car skidded on the ice and rammed into the back of the first car.
Unlike with the OP the driver of this car was absolutely hysterical, shaking and crying. Once the emergency services arrived I just sat at the side of the road with that driver, nobody moved us on or anything so it does happen. I got the impression that they were concentrating on the people who may have been hurt, but thankfully weren't.

OP, they sound like they were all bluster. I'd say that in their quiet moments alone they're worrying about what's going to come of this for them and so they should be.

[IscreamUscream]

He really couldn't have been paying attention as he hit us at about twenty miles an hour. To then be a pair of horrible bastards and put the blame on me is shameful.

[cees]

What a pair of bastards, hope the kids and you are ok.

[numptieseverywhere]

. What a horrible person she is. Ring an accident helpline and put in a claim for compensation.

[IscreamUscream]

Lampy use their dc's as a bargaining point. What a thing to say when they had to be cut out.

[IscreamUscream]

Sorry the officer was young.

[IscreamUscream]

Have spent today in between tiredness, soreness, dizzy and on and off tears. My ds was sick a couple of times last night with a headache. The officer young and looked as if he was caught in headlights. I did ask him to please ask the couple to leave the scene but they didn't and it upset me even more that they stood there still.
You have al been so kind in your posts thank you.

[lampygirl]

I have never been in a car accident, but I will say that I don't like people who instantly use their DCs as a 'bargaining point'. The other people were twats, entirely their fault etc, but your response to them should have related to their driving and not the fact you had kids in the car. He's crashed into you, it's his fault and he should face the consequences but the crime isn't made worse because you have children.

YANBU to be annoyed she got all in your face, I'd probably have punched her, but to be fair it is irrelevant to the crime who is in the car. Is it more acceptable if he smashes into the back of a single male in his 20s??

In glad your DCs are OK, just as I'd be glad if it was your mum/nan/brother/dog/hamster were OK

[Whatisaweekend]

What arseholes!! Hope you take them to the bloody cleaners!!

Glad your kids are ok, if a little sore and shaken.

[phantomnamechanger]

Oh and just to clarify, it was not in any way shape or form DHs fault!
The prat of a driver was flashed out by someone going the opposite direction to DH, but he did not look in DH direction and pulled straight out of a junction into DHs path.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

A vast majority of the time, if your car is rear-ended, it will be the fault of the driver in the back car (the one that rear-ended yours). It will be considered that he was not driving with due care and attention, as if he was, regardless of your stopping or slowing down, he would have had enough time to do so as well (hence why loads of reminders on the motorways for people to leave enough space between cars) without any impact. So I wouldn't think you would need to stress about that.

Glad your dcs are okay.

[phantomnamechanger]

there are some real arseholes about. sorry you had the misfortune to meet one in such stressful circumstances OP
I've told this one before but DH cycles to the station every day, all kitted out with helmet & lights and hi viz jacket -in 30+ years of cycling on the roads he has been in ONE accident - knocked off his bike by a driver who immediately leapt out of his car and what was the first thing he said? Not OMG are you OK, I'm so sorry etc. NO. "IT WAS YOUR FAULT". To a cyclist, who has just flown onto his bonnet smashing the windscreen and landed on all fours on the road. DHs helmet was cracked right down the middle and the hospital said it probably saved his life.

[DownstairsMixUp]

How awful. I've only had one accident thank god with DS in the back (someone went into the back of us slow moving traffic) we were all fine and thankfully the guy was very apolgetic. I'm hoping couples like this are rare!

[BurningBridges]

So this sounds like a pretty major accident, with the road closed etc? I'm not doubting OP at all but I don't understand why the police then let the persons who are likely to have caused the accident just stand there, gloating. Normally you see people being taken away, others at the side of the road leaning on their car upset, or ringing someone to let them know they'll be late - the police need accident investigators to come out and look at the road, I'd just expect all this to be happening, not those involved in the crash just hanging around spectating on the rescue efforts.

Any police or ambulance people reading, why was this allowed?

[londonrach]

Awful. I hope you all ok. If he went in the back it's totally his fault. He behaved badly but shock can do that as can guilt. Tbh it does matter who was in the back, children or adults. The fact it was children is irrelevant. Those in the back were hurt due to his actions. Leave it to the police and insurance people to sort it out. How the children now?

[Namechangearoonie123]

Poor you

Obviously they're guilty cunts and will be paying for your whiplash/ emotional distress/chiropractor/increased insurance premiums for the next ten years.

Make sure you mention to the police that they were driving dangerously and were aggressive to you.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Guilt is consistently underestimated - its a very powerful emotion which makes people behave revoltingly.

It's odd but true, over the last few years the absolute worst behaviour I've seen/ been exposed to has been due to that nasty rotten worm - guilt.

Bleugh. Imagine being such a shit person you shout and scream at parents and children you've just HURT, deliberately to try to wriggle out of legal responsibility. Nice. Lovely.

Ps like others have mentioned, shock can hit you for a few days, so go easy on yourself, it doesn't just evaporate in a few hours x

[FryOneFatManic]

I had a woman drive into the back of me, causing a little damage. she immediately got aggressive, trying to say I didn't indicate to turn right.

A woman coming the other way and stopped to say she'd seen my indicator, which shut the aggressive one up.

Thing is, I knew she was going to hit my car, as I looked back in the mirror and clearly saw her looking across and chatting with a passenger. Her aggression was a reaction to the accident that was caused by her, not me.

[dontcallmemam]

He was angry and guilty with himself for his irresponsible driving and the consequences and was transferring it onto you.
Think of his insurance premiums next year & have a little smile to yourself.

[Sallyingforth]

It's quite irrelevant whether there was anyone at all in the back of the car, or whether the boot was full of priceless antiques, or whether you had one of those stupid yellow signs in the window.

The driver behind should have been paying attention, and allowing room to stop safely.

Presumably the shouting was to intimidate you to try to persuade you to accept some responsibility.

But if the accident was exactly as you said and you have not omitted some critical factor, your insurers will expect the other driver to pay in full.

[Oldraver]

Did the police know they were behaving in an aggresive way toward you ? What is their take on the accident and is action being taken towards them.

In my case when I was rear ended I was initially a leetle bit mad at the woman who hit me, but when I pulled open her door she was screeching so much (as where her kids who were unhurt physically and taken away)all anger towards her went.. The only thing was, as I was the calm one organising everyone and she was distraught I was initially treated as the guilty party and the police where quite offhand with me.

When I had to produce my documents I asked if action was being taken against her and was told I should of made 'allegations' at the time. You know as I was sort of busy in the back of an ambulance. At the hospital her husband was quite hostile towards my friend and I and kept scowling at us.... I jsut think guilt makes people act funny

[STOPwiththehahaheheloling]

vivacia

[pluCaChange]

Their aggression was definitely defensive by the time the police and ambulances turned up! Mind you, people like that are probably aggressive in absolutely everything they do. I bet they never have a weak cup of tea (thanks to pummelling the shit out of their teabags), and all their shoe-soles are stomped flat!

Maybe the police can advise on charges for dangerous driving/ driving without due care, and their intimidating behaviour. They didn't exactly show any mitigating remorse for their predictable accident!

Take your time about recovering, and don't decide you're "all right" a minute before you feel you are.

Another reason to take it slowly about "getting over" this accident is that one of the children was your friend's. I'm reluctant to suggest this, but if your friend believes you let this go "too easily", this accident and the aggressive bastards could cost you a friendship, too.

[Vivacia]

Why do you think you might have been unreasonable?