To think "control your bloody children"

[trufflehunterthebadger]

We have a wedding at work. Three of the children have been running round like it is a playground. Despite asking their parents to keep them sitting down while the waiting staff serve hot main courses and, you know, hot pots of coffee from trays, this was apparently too much to ask and i got an "eye roll" and then pointed out by the woman to her friend. Probabky for not understanding how their pfb should be allowed to express themselves by running around the waiting staffs' feet at a funtion of 100 people

Aibu to think that if your child gets scalded by a waitress tripping over them when you've been asked to keep them seated while we serve hot products you have noone to blame but yourself ?

And before you all ask, i am on a break during speeches

Also, OP said she had spoken to best man with no joy!

I don't find the situation difficult to understand. It's a simple and commonplace situation that we all witness regularly.

The op has a line management chain. The ops manager was busy working another bar. Unfortunately selfish and feckless parents think rules don't apply to them. Told once, receiving an eye roll in response should mean the problem is escalated to the event staff.

I could possibly understand asking someone within the wedding party to intervene but not the b&g.

As I said before, let's agree to disagree.

Marceline,

the OP is the top of her particular management chain - head waitress. So what should she do next? What would the Ops manager do if they came in? What happens if he / she is also ignored? What is the next step if the B&G cannot be informed (unless they are forcibly informed by e.g. being scalded due to coffee being knocked on to them duer to a child running riot, or by the screams of an injured child ro adult, or the sound of an ambulance siren)?

I would think the ops manager is head of the line management chain. Nobody should have to intervene. I bet the op has a similar problem next week. I hope the parents listen.

In this situation it doesn't sound like the parents would listen to anyone.

If this were a wedding if someone I was close to, I would intervene. As a host I wouldn't invite feckless parents to any more parties (I have done this and have said why). I wouldn't expect the b&g to.

People shouldn't let their kids run mad in in restaurants/ at functions. I've never allowed my ds/ DC I'm responsible for to do so.

If others would call a halt to service/ put a message over the tannoy/ ask the bride to intervene, that's up to them. Each to their own.

This is why people have child free weddings.

'Aibu to think that if your child gets scalded by a waitress tripping over them when you've been asked to keep them seated while we serve hot products you have noone to blame but yourself ?'

Not unreasonable in the slightest. About any of it. I hope your shift is over soon - sounds like hell

My understanding is that once the venue are aware of a risk then they are obliged to do something to mitigate that risk. It's not possible for the parents to accept the risk on behalf of their children and absolve the venue from responsibility should something go wrong.

So, if small children are putting themselves and others at risk of scalding/injury and the venue is aware of it (ie a staff member has noticed), then they must do something about it, or they have left themselves open to legal action if something goes wrong.

So, the op could have:

1. told the parents that they and their children had to leave
2. stopped service until the children were no longer causing a danger
3. appealed to the parents/wedding party/hosts, escalating as appropriate until the bloody parents listened to someone, falling back on 1) or 2) if 3) failed.

Not doing 1), 2) or 3) means that if something goes wrong the op potentially leaves herself liable.

I have never seen this kind of thing happen. Largely because I have never been to a wedding that wasn't childfree. I am now drawing a strong correlation between "I've only ever been to childfree weddings" and "I have enjoyed tremendously every wedding I've ever been to."

OP, you have my massive sympathies. I'm sure the guests weren't particularly enjoying the prospect of having tiny, screaming cannonballs shoot into them at unpredictable intervals either.

In this situation it doesn't sound like the parents would listen to anyone.

If this were a wedding if someone I was close to, I would intervene. As a host I wouldn't invite feckless parents to any more parties (I have done this and have said why). I wouldn't expect the b&g to.

People shouldn't let their kids run mad in in restaurants/ at functions. I've never allowed my ds/ DC I'm responsible for to do so.

If others would call a halt to service/ put a message over the tannoy/ ask the bride to intervene, that's up to them. Each to their own.

OK, I mostly agree with you. But you still haven't explained what OP should have done. You've said what the children should have done, the parents, the other guests... What about the staff which is what the whole fecking thread is about after all ?

I'm also very curious Marceline as to what magic you think the manager can work, if the parents don't give a shit?

Maybe they have special powers that allow them the tie the little kiddies to their chairs?

I'd speak to best man/chief bridesmaid/parents of bride and groom in a 'we don't want to bother the happy couple on their big day, but we are worried that one of the little chreubs will end up in a+e if they don't stop running about during service' kind of way.

This is exactly why i would never take my DS to a wedding and very rarely take him to restaurants. I cannot control him unfortunately. He screams blue murder if made to sit down and i get dirty looks from the other diners and staff or i let him run around and i get dirty looks from the other diners and staff and the possibility of him getting injured. So I spend the entire time outside chasing him around. It's fucking miserable.

I don't think anything anyone would have said would have made a difference. The parents sound like selfish arseholes and I feel sorry for the op, all the staff and guests. This type of thing must boil their piss on a regular basis.

I think the ops line manager (ops manager?) should have intervened to protect their staff. The children were a danger to themselves and to others.

I wouldn't ask the bride/groom to intervene. Not least because if the op/ venue staff couldn't make a difference, then there would be no point upsetting the happy couple.

If I had a problem, I wouldn't bother the hosts of a party.

Intervene how?

They've asked the children.
They've asked the parents.

What next? Manager asks children, manager asks parents, then...?

I think I'd rather be notified of guests causing trouble to the entire party before they were ignominiously ejected.

I think, in all honesty, the next step is to go to the parents and loudly say "while your children are underfoot wewill hsvehave to suspend food service toto avoid an accident".

Who wouldn't understand that?

As a bride or host I'd want the chance to shame/cajole my guests into cooperation before having them kicked out.

I do understand, I just disagree.

The op / her line manager had a duty of care to the staff and guests. Dealing with unreasonable parents, drunk people etc is all part of customer service.

I doubt anything actually happened. Unfortunately, this type of thing is commonplace.

Have just come back to the thread, what a lot of responses.

The hotel manager spoke to them after me, he also was ignored. The uncontrolled children little darlings then proceeded to set up camp in the service doorway of the function room where he was trying to serve breakfast the next morning, he tripped over them when he kicked open the door to take something in.

Chopin, i have worked in hospitality for 20 years and have a very spirited and lively 4 year old of my own; i can assure you i know the difference between a child with SNs that is difficult to control and a child that is running wild because their parents are ignoring them and downing pinot grigio

And no, the last thing we would do would be to halt service or ask the B&G to sort it out

I would say it in a polite but firm, clear tone of voice to both the child and the parents.

I'm not surprised that the manager wasn't able to improve things and that the DC were causing havoc the next morning.

Lordy trufflehunter what total little buggers!