To think "control your bloody children"

[trufflehunterthebadger]

We have a wedding at work. Three of the children have been running round like it is a playground. Despite asking their parents to keep them sitting down while the waiting staff serve hot main courses and, you know, hot pots of coffee from trays, this was apparently too much to ask and i got an "eye roll" and then pointed out by the woman to her friend. Probabky for not understanding how their pfb should be allowed to express themselves by running around the waiting staffs' feet at a funtion of 100 people

Aibu to think that if your child gets scalded by a waitress tripping over them when you've been asked to keep them seated while we serve hot products you have noone to blame but yourself ?

And before you all ask, i am on a break during speeches

I had loads of people complain to me about the behaviour about some of the children at my wedding. Do not tell the bride and groom. Tell the wait staff to sort it out with the parents. If someone halted my wedding because of naughty kids and feckless parents I'd ask them to leave. They could take the badly behaved guests with them.

Marceline I don't think OP has any option other than tell the bride as the adult guests are doing nothing about it. Stopping service seems the right way to go.

Then we'll agree to disagree because I think spoiling the wedding of a bride and groom is the wrong thing to do. I think there are lots of options which include the event staff handling the situation.

People that behaved badly at my wedding; parents of naughty dc and people that complained to me about them to me. I haven't invited either to future parties.

Ds isn't allowed to run about in this situation. I wouldn't complain to the hosts of a party about bad behaviour of guests/ out of their control.

Marceline, the OP is the event staff and she had tried to deal with it by asking the parents to get their kids to sit down.

Marceline

Your wedding would definitely have been ruined by the arrival of an ambulance to collect a burned guest or member of staff.

It outrages me that parents cannot control their DC in situations like this,
Last week, at work, in a neonatal unit, a parent had come to visit her prem baby and bought siblings in to visit, fair enough, lovely for them all to meet their baby sister, but OMG,
The siblings, 4 of them aged 6 and under were not at all interested in the baby, ran up and down the room chasing each other,screaming, crying, dropping drink on the floor. The tiny one, aged about 18 months proceeded to try and mount another babies incubator
All this time the parents had no control, kept calling for the girls to 'come here and meet your sister' etc
All fell on deaf ears and the other parents in the room were getting understandably miffed
In the end the sister in charge asked the dad to take the children to the parents room, which incidentally is lovely, with toys, TV etc
The dad wasn't happy and stormed off, kids in tow muttering about not being able to visit his baby in peace
We were all

My arse would have had a good tanning if I'd have behaved like this as a child. Obviously I know smacking isn't the done thing now, but I hate it when I go into a shop, cafe, pub or anywhere and there are kids running riot. It's just shit parenting, nothing else.

honeybee that's awful! It was hard enough when dtds were in scbu without putting up with that too! I found even sensible other extended families being in the same room as my tiny babies really stressful.

It was dreadful alpaca but some people are selfish and don't think of others. These parents had no concern about the 11 other babies/parents in the room,
The sad thing it's it's not uncommon anymore

Marcelline I think you've spectacularly missed the point here. The OP is the event staff, it's the bride and groom's guests causing the problem.

I saw a little girl pull a pot (a Burco type thing) of boiling water over herself in a busy restaurant 20 years ago - she and her friend were running around the place like it was a playground too and the end result was horrific - they stripped her clothes off her and then left her screaming horribly in the middle of the room while waiting for an ambulance to arrive - nobody knew what else to do. It was something I can never forget and has given me a horror of similar situations.
No advice - just sympathy. The parents don't want to be bothered by keeping their children entertained elsewhere. Hope they don't learn the harsh lessons the little girl I saw learned.

This is exactly why some couples choose not to invite children to their weddings and spawn a thousand threads in the process.

Exactly windchime.

I understand that the op is the manager at a wedding at which parents are neglecting their offspring and allowing them to run riot. I understand that the parents have mean asked to control their dc and have rolled their eyes in response.

I don't agree that the event staff should halt the wedding and expect the bride and groom to intervene. I would not agree with this approach if it was the b&gs dc.

I invited a few children to my evening reception. Two caused havoc running around the bar area. A couple of guests complained to me. They should have complained to their darling parents. This kind of thing can happen at parties. The op sounds exasperated and I understand why.

If, on the instruction of a guest, the event staff turned off the music/ halted the proceeding to announced they were stopping the service until the dc were under control I would have stopped payment on cheque and expected a discount.

I have never complained to the hosts of party about an aspect of their party. Not at the time, nor after the event.

If they aren't listening to the head waitress, the ops manager should have intervened.

YANBU

Happens all the time round here from small minority of parents, places like Leisure Centre cafe, where hot food is being carried around. Some dozy parents allow them to scoot around.

They won't understand that their child's right to run around needs to be curtailed in certain places until their child gets scalded or a poor elderly or disabled person is knocked flying.

It is a minority though

The OPs manager was in a different area.

I doubt very much that the parents of these children would have listened to them either anyway.

So what option is left?

Personally, I would have asked the parents and children causing the problem to either keep their children under control or be asked to leave.

YANBU - how very annoying

Marceline, the event staff have every right to approach the B&G. After all, the B&G are the hosts of this event. The hosts of any event are the ones responsible.

And if parents aren't listening to the OP, what makes you think they'll listen to a more senior manager?

jMaecelin

Marceline I'm left wondering what you think the OP should have done. The children weren't listening, their parents didn't respond, there was an identifiable risk to staff and guests.... She needs to reduce that risk, so if she can't control the children what can she do but stop the service?

Genuinely - what safe alternative is there?

I'd have taken the kids outside and let them run around in a safe space

The staff can't take the kids outside to a "safe place", their job is the service at the wedding, not looking after someone else's kids. That's the parents' job.

I

I meant the parents

Never crossed my mind the staff might do it! But thanks fir telling me what staff at a wedding do

In the interests of health and safety they should stop serving hot food whilst the children are tearing around. If one of them had an accident these parents would be first to claim 'compensation'. You can see why people insist on childfree weddings.

Child free weddings FTW.

I would have a MUCH better time leaving my DD with her grandparents, and eating lovely food and drinking lovely wine, compared with having to keep her entertained and behaving herself. Weddings are boring for little kids.