To not be surprised that divorce rates are so high when I see how some friends treat their husbands??

[PisforPeter]

Just having huge arguments over petty issues, being anal about the childrens routines, making DH sleep in spare room for duration of oregnancy & first 8 months of baby's life too.
Do folk need to chill out a bit or am I being too harsh??
I just find a team approach works better for me??

[cailindana]

Waffle - surely if they don't think their husband is lovely then there's no point in being married to him?

[Migsy1]

"starter marriage" I am genuinely shocked! I've never heard of such a concept.

[MammaTJ]

Well my imaginary marriage will never break up because I brush my hair every now and again just before DH gets in from work and apply a fresh coat of lippy. My house is immaculate too I wish.

He gets tea on the table as soon as he gets in from work. It's only right! I also give him BJs on request.

Of course I warm his side of the bed for him in winter, then move to my own cold side. If he is playing his PS2 too late and I have dozed off, it is fine for him to wake me for sex.

He will love me forever, right?

[Thurlow]

Why couldn't the issue equally be husband's not understanding or appreciating what their wife is going through at home looking after a young baby?

Of course team work is the best.

But team work involves both a husband and a wife appreciating each other, not just a wife not nagging, as you seem to imply.

[PisforPeter]

Lol peapod

[Thurlow]

Mama

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

It's like a warm up to the big (non) event.

What a ridiculous op. You don't really think it, do you?

[DioneTheDiabolist]

If men did what they were told, when they were told, women wouldn't have to argue then divorce them.

[FruVikingessOla]

I guess a 'starter marriage' is a bit like one of those 'starter homes'?

Otherwise, I haven't got a fucking clue

[WaffleWiffle]

Waffle - surely if they don't think their husband is lovely then there's no point in being married to him?

Hence me saying I cannot see their marriages lasting.

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

I'd like to see the stats that more men chose divorce than women.

I'd also be amazed if there were evidence that men seek divorce because their wives are obsessed with routines.

[StrawberryMouse]

After hearing the term "starter marriage" for the first time, I immediately started introducing DH as "my first husband".

[scotchtikidoll]

Usually arguments about petty things stem from deeper problems- divorce doesn't usually happen just because the wife is upset about the toilet seat being up.

Don't be so inflammatory.

[IrianofWay]

"If men did what they were told, when they were told, women wouldn't have to argue then divorce them."

I know, it's so obvious really.

[LemonSquares]

I'm sure I've heard that more women decide to end marrages than men.

[AMumInScotland]

Perhaps they're just upset that their husbands bought them engagement rings 'on the smallish side' and aren't being as generous as your 'hubby' in offering to replace them?

[stooshe]

The difference between a male and a man is huge. Jealous over a baby and the fact that family dynamics have changed is pitiful.
Surely a candidate for having an EA, at the very least.

[IrianofWay]

Starter marriage is just an entry-level relationship

[Thurlow]

muminscotland

[PisforPeter]

I don't think anybody is suggesting there is a direct correlation between routines & divorce Farleys but general disgruntlement & long term lack of intimacy is for men & women.
Goodness knows we read about so many affairs on MN

[livelablove]

My dh slept in the spare room when I had a bad back recently, as it meant I could have the light on if I couldn't sleep. He also brought me all my meals, did the housework and looked after dd until I was better. I really appreciated this help and I think it strengthened our marriage.

[LemonSquares]

www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10357829/Why-do-women-initiate-divorce-more-than-men.html

I haven't checked their stastics.

[7Days]

god I wish I was the one being kicked out into a bed of my own for 8 hrs kip every night and win put upon parent of the year whle I'm at it

[andsmile]

Well yes I agree some people seem to fall to easily (I'm not talking about relationships where there is an outright abusive partner)

I have been to hell and back with my marriage including all the way to the divorce courts. At the same time our friends were seperated also and at 'war' she always maintained she never did anything wrong (red flag right there) Over time reduced contact with this women - she was v picky, selfish and a game player. I can now see how her poor husband was drained of any joy over her anal ways and toxic attitude.

I recall her staying at my house telling me Cillit bang worked well around taps. Asked me what marks were on the walls - it's water marks on paint next to handtowel, just splash marks. Turning up with 20 minutes notice and expecting the red carpet welcome.

The ultimate came when she told me we could not be friends if I got back together with my estranged husband.

[Bonsoir]

Treating spouses/partners very badly is not confined to women. In my purely anecdotal observations I have seen as much exploitative behaviour by women as by men... Exploitation and general failure to consider the other partner has any needs (or even a personality) are frequent grounds for relationship breakdown...