to think this is not an adequate thank you

[missknows]

If you sent a child a birthday present would you expect any sort of thanks and if so what?

Didn't give it in person so that is out of the question. Not expecting a formal Thank you card but a quick phone call or even text would be nice. The closest thing to a Thanks is a status on the mum's Facebook saying "son had a lovely day, thanks for all the cards, gifts and the money, he's very happy" (not even tagged so people know it's there).

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that's a bit poor and almost worse than no thanks at all!

Etiquette of how a thank you is sent is one thing (and really isn't important imo). Sending or not sending a thank you is something quite different. Not saying thank you in any way is simply rude and not how I have brought up my children to behave.

Like I said in the OP, I was not expecting a formal thank you, more of an acknowledgement that the present actually got there! Not acknowledging a gift is just plain rude and I was asking if other people thought a fb message as outlined in the OP was adequate. Even tagging people who had sent gifts who have allowed them to realise they got there. Have since seen said child and didn't even mention getting a present (I know it did get there- it went via another relative).

Yabu, she did thank everyone. No need for personal calls/ messages.

I never understand the "you shouldn't expect a thank you" stance. I have never not said thank you for a present either in person, writing or text/email. I think it is really rude. Like Scholes I don't really mind how the thanks is sent but I think it ought to be. I have several nephews, 2 from one family who always send thanks and 2 who never do. It puts me off sending things and I would never let Dd behave like that.

Tbh it depends on how close I consider myself. A random kid from nursery, wouldn't bother me. Dds best mate id be miffed.

Am on the fence about whether a generic fbook message is ok in these circumstances. Probably not actually if you sent your present. obviously you would be wondering if your present actually arrived.

All I can say is that I notice if I get a thank you, but don't if I don't.

It's nice, but not essential by any means, and I wouldn't think any worse of anyone for not doing it.Life is busy.

9 times out of 10 I remember to thank but every so often I forget, so I can't exactly claim to be blameless myself.

It is bad manners in my opinion. I write thank you notes for any gift we or sons receive and for any dinner or lunch we get invited to. It's good manners. I expect it and usually get it from all our friends - thought everyone did thank you notes!

The only reason I would like a quick text/e-mail/tag in someone's FB post about a gift is so that I know it has arrived safely. Assuming the gift was sent in the post. If it was someone I cared enough about to buy a gift in the first place, I would want to know if they hadn't had it so that I could replace it & try to trace it with Royal Mail.

If I knew that the gift had been received (either because a third party had taken it for me, or because I had posted it through the letterbox myself etc.) then I wouldn't care at all whether I received a thank you or not.

I give a gift because I want to give a gift. I don't expect anything in return, although I do agree it is usual to receive a verbal "thank you" if handing something over in person .

I write thankyou notes. It's how I was brought up.DD does the same.

I don't understand all the fuss about thank you notes.
People say thank you when you hand the gift over surely.
It's just another piece of paper for recycling bin IMO.

My step niece and nephew have never said thank you for any gift.
When money is tight, and you are sent lists of appropriate presents which you buy and wrap and send, and receive no thanks (not knowing if it got there), it is rude and spoiled and materialistic. It costs nothing to thank someone, whichever form it takes. In my family's case, they can spend the effort demanding but not appreciating. Presents are a gift, not an entitlement, and I can't imagine not thanking someone for a gift.
OP, YANBU

Tbh when the dc's are young the parents have the burden of doing the thank you's.
Once older they do them under duress.

I'd rather they spent the time playing with the toy I got them, and I got an unprompted verbal thanks.

Would people be saying the same about thanking the giver of a wedding gift?

Yanbu. Acknowledgements are necessary, and thank yous are polite and appropriate. And good to teach children that a little effort is needed after someone has gone to effort for you. Be it letter, email, text or phone call.

a thankyou on facebook would be enough.

YANBU.

If you've gone to all the effort of choosing, paying for and sending a gift, the very least you can expect is a proper thank you. Am amazed that anyone could think otherwise.

Perhaps, as other posters have suggested, your thank you note is in the post?

Depends. I don't expect thank you notes for children's birthday party presents or other situations where somebody can say thank you in person.

YANBU. It's just simple manners. Nothing to do with 'receiving' something back. Also - when people don't say thank you when you have sent a gift, it can be awkward as you may not know they've actually received said gift. Society is going to the dogs I tell you!!!!

It seems this is quite a split debate. Most of you would think it weird to hand over a gift in person and the recipient not say thank you though it would seem. A formal note isn't in the post, just not the parents' style and I have no problem with that. Like I mentioned, I have now seen the child though and nothing was mentioned. Maybe they didn't like the gift, although more likely that they haven't been brought up in a way that they realise they should say anything. They are only small after all. I just remember as a child if someone gave me something but not in person, next time I saw them I would say thanks (whether I liked it or not)

Seems like manners are slowly disappearing through the generations.

Just curious to know whether this has put you off sending the child a gift next year?

YANBU.
A card, phone call or, at a push a text is polite.

I have family like this. It's embarrassing tbh.
Sometimes friedns call me to ask if I think someone has received a gift because of course, without a word of thanks, the giver has no idea whether the gift has been received. It's ally quite rude IMHO to not acknowledge a gift.

I do thank you's because I feel others expect them, even though I don't expect them.

Its a dull duty so as not to offend anyone.

YANBU, if you receive a gift its only manners to say thank you. The facebook thing is a cop out not everyone (me!) is on facebook and as you say no one 'tagged'.

If we don't teach our kids to say thank you when given a gift where does it start and end....do they turn in to those rudepeople that don't say thank you when you hold open the door for them or step off a pavement to allow them past with a pushchair, to accept a drink. Look up the meaning of gratitude.

Oh and its really nothing to do with receiving back! If I don't get a thank you I really wonder if I should bother...clearly they are not bothered.

Oh look you got me started now!

I always say thank you but I have come to the conclusion that more often than not I am in the minority.