I will answer all your points separately Lewji but if you still don't get my perspective I don't think you ever will, I think you are being deliberately obtuse and I am not really sure why. Anyway here goes...
I'm sorry, but this was from you
"I don't fancy doing it on my own, who would stay with the baby while I went on rides with the boy for example?"
But then, it's because you are a family. Which was it?
Why does it have to be either or? Why can it not be both. It is difficult going to theme parks with two under fives, particularly when one is not tall enough for the majority of the rides. We did however, all enjoy it. I did not leave X holding the baby while I went on everything, we absolutely split everything so we both went on various things with the boy. Because we are a family and family help each other out AND want each other to be there. It is not one or the other, when you are a family unit, it is both.
I think you need to evaluate to yourself what was the point of this trip and what you expected to gain from it.
The point of the trip was to give the children a nice day out, which they had.
The children won't necessarily thank you for the mixed messages, nor the atmosphere between you too during the day.
I think my children were/are very thankful for days out actually and I think they enjoy spending time with both of their parents, I wouldn't have been able to take them both to legoland without their dad and most of the day was very pleasant, it was the late afternoon/early evening 'oh I'm so put apon what a poor bloke I am' attitude that fucked me off, I can't see how I am giving THEM mixed messages.
As for him, you are bailing him on one hand, but then expecting gratitude for "splashing out".
WTF do you mean by 'bailing him'? I don't expect gratitude for splashing out, I expect to be treated like a normal human being and have normal human interactions with someone I have just gone out of my way to accommodate on a family day out. If I have a nice day out shopping with my mum and we only spend our own money, I will thank her for a nice day, as I will if I see a friend for lunch or whatever, its not about money it is about acknowledgement of a person and a nice day. It means a lot you should try it
Plus, and I know you will get angry, but why on earth did you spend £150 going to Legoland when you have just enough for a bill next week? And only one child actually enjoyed it.
Well that is an enormous conclusion you have just jumped too, why not ask me calmly about bills? Why the attack? Is this how you communicate in RL with people?
I have a bill of nearly £200 that I pay out on the 17th of every month, because it is such a huge bill I tend to split if over several weeks, so right now I have half of it in my bank account and next week when I get more money I will have the rest, aside from paying my bill I have £90 for the children and I to eat with, buy diesel and so on, I buy plenty of gas and electric in advance. I have enough money to pay my bills, feed my family AND spend £150 going to legoland, so if that is what I chose to do then that is what I will do. I don't know what you assume I should be doing with my own money but if I manage it well there is plenty of money for extras and events. That doesn't mean, however, that I WANT to pay out for someone so fucking up their own arsehole that they cannot so much as acknowledge a nice day, or put their own children to bed at the end of the day without grunting and grumbling about it.
BOTH the children enjoyed their day very much, the baby couldn't go on all the rides but he could go on some of them, which we all went on together. He slept for 2 hours of it and had plenty of ice cream and pizza and baby friendly events to keep him happy!
When you finish ranting you may actually want to take a breather and sort out priorities and expectations.
My children, having a lovely time and enjoying themselves, feeling like they still have both of us even though we are separated.
My expectation is that we can act like adults and work together at making nice family experiences for them without resorting to treating each other like shit for fuck knows what reason.
It has been a priority of mine to keep X a clear and obvious member of this family, in order for the boys to be happy and comfortable. I think the only priority I need to address is that one. My bills are paid on time, we have food on the table and I think I will be out of debt by February, I think I am doing okay actually.