Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To think this is lazy and irresponsible parenting and I should maybe report this?

91 replies

OhTheDrama · 09/07/2014 18:21

I really don't think I am and I'm a little annoyed and very concerned. My two DD's (aged 6&9) usually play for an hour or two on our street every afternoon after summer scheme. There are about 5 or 6 of them altogether, eldest being 11 and youngest being 6. It's a quiet-ish street but with some through traffic and they usually play between each other's front gardens, they can either be seen or heard at all times. My two aren't allowed to cross the road without my direct supervision. Myself and all the other parents are very vigilant and keep a good check.

Yesterday I noticed a little girl of about 2 or 3 playing with them and asked my eldest who she was as I hadn't seen her before and thought she was a little young to be out playing. DD1 told me it was 'Zak's' friend', so I presumed she was visiting Zak's house and he had taken her out. Today I noticed the girl again but she was wandering up and down the street on her own, the others including mine were playing in Zak's garden.

I went out and asked the girl if she had lost Zak, she looked confused so I took her to Zak's garden. The children informed me that this little girl lived down the street, across the road and she had wandered down, crossed the road by herself and was asking to play with them. This had happened 2 days in a row. As I looked down I could see their front door open and her toys outside. They all informed me that she had only just turned 3. From me first noticing her to taking her to Zak's garden it was about 30mins. Nobody checked on her or called her name. From her house you cannot see Zak's garden.

I took her back to her house and the mum came to the door after me knocking and calling for a good few minutes. I said I had found her wandering up our street and had brought her back. The mum snapped that she thought our kids were watching her. I replied that no they weren't old enough or responsible enough and walked away. I heard her say 'stupid cow' as I walked away.

I know I'm not BU to be angry that my kids unwittingly had that responsibility put on them by a total stranger but would I be unreasonable to report this as I'm really scared for this poor wee girl. So as not to drip feed we had an attempted child abduction in this area 2 weeks ago.

OP posts:

BrainSurgeon · 09/07/2014 19:12

Oh dear of course YANBU how sad :-(

Aeroflotgirl · 09/07/2014 19:23

A 3 year old is extremly vulnerable, they cannot keep,themselves safe and do not have a clue about safety awareness, stranger Danger

Appletini · 09/07/2014 19:47

Please report. Don't understand those who say to wait to see if it happens again, isn't once enough?

VioletHare · 09/07/2014 20:00

Like the others said, report.

I had this a while back. A girl who was 3.5 kept calling for my ds's. She lived at the other end of the culdesac, a 3 minute walk away and crossing one (albeit very quiet but still) road. The culdesac wasn't completely enclosed and there were a few alleys she could have disappeared down on the way to our house. She would be playing outside our house for a couple of hours sometimes before she wandered back home.

I umm'd and ahh'd for ages, unsure of whether I was being overly protective. I didn't report until the straw that broke the camels back - her turning up just after her 4th birthday with her TEN MONTH OLD brother on her hip proclaiming 'I'm a big girl now i'm 4 so mummy's sent us out to play'.

It really scares me how much risk some people put their kids at.

fluffyraggies · 09/07/2014 20:03

violet - dear God

ItHasANiceRingWhenYouLaugh · 09/07/2014 20:06

I'm actually really really shocked and saddened at the number of posters who said don't report.

HermioneWeasley · 09/07/2014 20:09

Dear god, the number of these stories. How many parents just don't give a fuck about their kids? Why is the woman having another when she can't be arsed to take care of her daughter?

My heart breaks - every kid should feel they are loved and precious.

VioletHare · 09/07/2014 20:13

I feel ashamed that I didn't report sooner, and even more so of (with hindsight) the probable reasons I didn't.

The girl was always immaculately turned out. Always well fed and would turn up with a bottle of water and a piece of fruit. Very intelligent and switched on, bright as a button. Her house was a lovely big detached house, her mother looked well-to-do (from the one glimpse I got anyway), two nice cars on the drive and the girl would chat about various holidays/trips/toys she had etc.

Had she been turning up starving hungry in a ripped dress, or had a mother that looked like she'd had a tough paper round...I probably would have reported before.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/07/2014 20:16

Did you report violet, when she saw she had a baby with her

VioletHare · 09/07/2014 20:18

Yes, as soon as she turned up with the baby I reported. I never heared anything back (didn't expect to tbh).

Aeroflotgirl · 09/07/2014 20:19

That's great. Did tge girl come back again! Just because parents are rich, does not make them good parents.

Original poster

OhTheDrama · 09/07/2014 20:19

Reported. They didn't say too much, just took the info down but they did tell me that reports of this nature are always passed on to SS as well. Let's hope that the mum catches herself on.

I too am really shocked at some of the other stories on this thread, made my blood run cold.

OP posts:

passmethewineplease · 09/07/2014 20:21

I'd definitely report. That is downright stupid neglectful parenting and she needs telling that.

She's lucky her child didn't come to any harm.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/07/2014 20:22

That shoes just how much that idiot cared fir her child, not only trusting her 3.5 year old dd out by herself, but in charge of a baby . It's like those parents who say my 2 year old is safe around water, they know not to get in! Err you can pen ever trust a toddler however safe you think they might be!

geezerhere · 09/07/2014 20:28

Report it. If child is only 3 then call social services right away. 3 years old WTF!

CoffeeTea103 · 09/07/2014 20:37

Yanbu, 3 years old is a tiny child. What if her child went missing, she'd probably then expect sympathy from everyone, what an idiot. Yes report her. No way should your kids be responsible. Thankfully it was you who brought her home and not someone else who could have taken advantage of this situation.

Anotheronesoon · 09/07/2014 20:51

Report it- poor child! It's neglect and it is everyone's responsibility to report concerns to protect poor kiddies whose mothers are morons by all accounts.

VioletHare · 09/07/2014 22:06

I didn't notice any lessening of her turning up but she never brought the baby with her again.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 09/07/2014 22:15

Definitely worth reporting

cerealqueen · 09/07/2014 22:37

Report. All it takes is somebody in a car luring her with a bag of sweets for this to be a tragedy.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/07/2014 07:37

Violet tge mentality of some people, they shouldn't be parents!

JoeyMaynardsghost · 10/07/2014 08:04

Good Lord.

Where I used to live a young girl (3) was always playing out while her mum "tidied the house" - it was 2 roads with a joining road across the top so made a one way street, with an alley adjoining the top road leading out to the very busy main road or to another alley leading to a housing estate.

She was out all hours and often knocked at random houses in any street to see if any children lived there if she got bored. One night we drove home at 11pm and she was still out walking round the street.

Lost count how many times she got reported and in the end the mum moved away stating that there's no neighbourly feeling and too many busybodies interfering, so I guess the reports got through to the right people but don't think she got the point!

minifingers · 10/07/2014 08:46

Children are extremely unlikely to be abducted and it says something about our paranoia regarding paedophilia that everyone is flagging this up as the primary risk to an unsupervised child of 3 out wandering the street instead of the very much more real risk of her being hit by a car crossing the road.

Children of three can't judge the speed of cars and they absolutely can't be left unsupervised near a road.

TheLovelyBoots · 10/07/2014 09:33

I agree with minifingers. I'd be very worried about a 3 year old getting hit by a car or, a cyclist. Cyclists are really hard for even seasoned adults to register sometimes.

But reporting to SS because of one such incident (is this one?) is excessive IMO.

ZanyMobster · 10/07/2014 09:41

minifingers I agree that is the biggest risk but in our very quiet, pretty nice area we have had 2 attempted abductions recently of young children, a number of other incidents involving men being asked to move on by PCSOs from hanging round schools plus not too far away 3 stabbings and mugging of a mum with a newborn, all in the last month.

I think reporting to SS is absolutely the right thing, I would consider it an incident as there is no situation EVER where it is ok for a 3 YO to be out playing on their own.

Flip

1 2 3 4