To think that this doesn't count as doing the washing?

[cheeseandfickle]

DH does nothing around the house.

Occasionally he will gather up an enormous load of laundry, of any colour and fabric (ie my new white bravissimo bra in with a pair of black trousers on a 60 degree wash, that kind of thing), bung it in the washing machine and then just leave it, and leave it....

I then have to empty the washing machine, sort the washing, dry it, iron, and put away.

DH claims that he does loads of washing, and that I am being unreasonable because I have said that doing this does not count as doing the washing.

AIBU?

[sausagefortea]

Errr.....no, that does not constitute doing the washing. Anymore than my rant of this morning to my DH about how cleaning away the dinner stuff doesn't constitute shoving half the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and leaving half out. And leaving half used foodstuffs out of the fridge all night because he didn't put them away. His excuse for doing this is always that he will do it in the morning - but guess which muggins it's left for 99.9% of the time.

[TheWomanTheyCallJayne]

I think 5 types is probably normal not anal.
I have four and I'm a bit of a slattern really
I sort mine at the machine though rather than having separate baskets

[AMumInScotland]

We have white / greige / dark / boil-wash categories.
Plus towels or bedding that don't tend to get mixed with anything else as they are a load in their own right.

That probably counts as 5 or 6 types... and I don't count myself as an anal person in general.

[Lilymaid]

My 'D'H still claims he doesn't know how to set a cycle on the washing machine. After 5 years of having this washing machine.
It took my DH 30 years to work this out. Meanwhile he had plumbed in several machines for us in several different houses, done basic repairs and diagnosed faults where we needed new parts.
He just didn't understand why there were so many wash cycles and couldn't cope with the choice. There had been no choice on the machine at the laundrette he used before we married and he had bunged everything into one wash.

[ShatterResistant]

Sausage, my DH does exactly that. Last night he did precisely half the washing up, and often says he'll do it in the morning, before he leaves at 6.20. I don't think so. I once made the mistake of telling him that if he left food out or put it in the fridge unwrapped, he might as well throw it away. I meant, wrap it up. He TOOK me to mean, throw it away.

[TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals]

YANBU

I agree with PP. Get petty. Do your stuff and the DCs but don't bother with his. Or if you do wash it, leave just his in the machine.

That'll learn him. If he doesn't listen, hopefully actions will speak louder than words.

It'd piss me off rightly!

[vanillavelvet]

Lily, that's exactly it. It's the choice of cycles and being able to change the temperature/ length/ time of the wash that make him not even want to try! How did your DH finally learn then? Any tips?

[BetweenDogandWolf]

Leave him to do his own but hope he hangs it up in time! I had a ex in a shared student house who did his own washing but left it in the machine for days afterwards. One day I emptied his out into a black bag because I needed to wash some of my clothes. I told him but he still couldn't be bothered to hang them up and he waited until they started to go mouldy and stinky before doing anything with them, when he had to throw quite a lot of it away!

[BertieBotts]

But it's not really difficult, just say "Which setting do you usually use?"

I don't know what half of the settings on my machine do because I just wash everything on a normal 40 wash. I don't know what the difference is between the three 40 degree washes because the panel is in German. I just pick the first one. It works!

[ouryve]

My DH is like Lilymaid's. He's in a technical career and can fathom out anything electronic, faff about deep in command prompts and even do simple repairs on washing machines. He pulls his weight with housework without being asked.

He has a complete mental block with laundry, though. It's not just using the washing machine, it's little things like repeatedly having to be reminded not to put wet towels into the laundry basket because they don't magically dry in there, they simply make everything else wet and smelly.

But, unless your DH is working a 90 hour week outside the home, YANBU to be fed up of his lack of contribution around the house, cheese. Even if he can't get his head around laundry, there's floors to clean and vacuum, windows to clean, beds to change, none of which are complicated (actually, come to think of it DH usually messes something up when he changes bedding, but I ask him to put it right and reserve the right to cry when he puts DS2's favourite duvet cover back into the overflowing laundry basket, even though I've washed and dried it that day, because he "forgot" that I'd said that and DS2 had thrown it on the floor to have a look at it, so he thought it was dirty....)

[Timeisawastin]

When I first moved in my Dp (now Dh) we were both full-time students. I assumed we would share the chores but after a couple of weeks it was clear that it didn't enter his head to put washing on, or have anything to do with it so I stopped doing his. Twenty-one years later I still don't do his washing, I do mine and the Dc plus the towels etc but I don't touch his clothes. He does a couple of loads late on a Sunday night and sits in his underwear waiting for the drier to spit them out on a Monday morning. I care not.

[SquigglySquid]

I have 5 categories that our washing can be sorted into (okay , I may be a tiny bit anal). Everyone except DH has grasped this system instantly. 4 months since it's introduction And DH is still putting the coloureds in the whites bin. Is he thick? Is he colourblind? Or is he just trying to drive me into a murderous frenzy?

I have managed to teach DH the ways of the clothes sorting. It involved me grabbing his hand, leading him into the bedroom, pointing at the mistake and telling him to fix it (in a playful way). He still digs his feet in when it comes to doing laundry doesn't understand the washing temperatures and what's used for each category. I just do the laundry and dishes now, and he does the cooking.

But he's been taking the whole night shifts with baby so I can sleep so I let most of it slide. :)