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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not understand when people cry when trying their wedding dresses on?

77 replies

PiperRose · 08/07/2014 13:54

Just that really, watching 'Say yes to the dress' and there's a whole family in tears because she found the dress. Is this usual?

OP posts:
aquashiv · 08/07/2014 18:15

Maybe its the cost of them

MammaTJ · 08/07/2014 18:15

I was fine when DD was trying on her dress, until she went to change and her bridesmaid was asking me what I thought of her fiance. I think he is fab, he adores DD and she adores him, I could not ask for better for her. Only I couldn't quite express this through the sudden tears.

SugarplumKate · 08/07/2014 18:17

I cried when I tried my wedding dress on because my Dad was dying of brain cancer and I knew he would not see me wear it.

Batmansbuttocks · 08/07/2014 18:20

This happened to me, I would never have predicted it. Whirlwind relationship, quick engagement, perfect dress.

Sadly I became pregnant soon after I found the dress...lost the deposit on the dress as the reception had been paid for then bought a pregnancy wedding dress (no tears!). Then just before the wedding I lost the baby.

Ended up getting married in a 2nd hand wedding dress feeling pretty grim.

However have been married 10 years and had 3DC since.

I now understand the wedding dress/tears thing though.

Bogeyface · 08/07/2014 18:22

Only on MN can you buy a wedding dress with the words "Meh, whatever", but that fits with the "Why do you need a big wedding? You can do it for £100 and a borrowed dress!" attitude.

So they cried, so what?! Did it impact you? No. Turn it off if it bothers you that much, but stop being so down on people who are emotional about different things than you.

I didnt cry when I held each of my babies for the first time, didnt cry when I found my wedding dress (I was relieved I liked it and I could afford it!) but I cried when I said my vows. Everyone is different.

sooperdooper · 08/07/2014 20:23

Bogeyface, it bothers me the way it's expected that as a woman you should cry at 'the dress' surrounded by a million girl friends, dream of being a princess etc, I find the whole assumption really demeaning and patronising to the way women are 'supposed' to view marriage

PiperRose · 08/07/2014 20:32

Jesus Bogeyface calm the fuck down. The only thing that's impacted me about the program is that I'm pissed of I'm off work sick and that I resorted to watching such crap.

I wasn't judging, I just said I didn't understand. I wouldn't, having never tried a wedding dress on. I was asking not calling you all over-emotional, fairy-tale expecting, cry babies.

OP posts:
PiperRose · 08/07/2014 20:33

Oh, and the rest of you on this thread, thanks for telling me your stories, you've cheered me up no end.

OP posts:
Trills · 08/07/2014 20:36

over-emotional, fairy-tale expecting, cry babies

Well, some people ARE over-emotional, and some people do expect fairy tales, and some people do just cry really easily.

TheCurseOfFenric · 08/07/2014 20:36

I cried, which took me by surprise a little, as I am the least princessy/clothes oriented person there is Grin

I was totally fed up with dress shopping, as I was being talked at in every shop, and assistants were trying to convince me to buy various different meringue-type dresses, which were far from what I wanted.

And then I found the right dress, and tried it on. Looked in the mirror, and it all became real. And I missed my mum (she had died 2 years before, and this was the first 'life milestone' since her death). And it was the moment that I properly realised how much I would miss her for the rest of my life - that every big moment, I would be missing her.

Tangoandcreditcards · 08/07/2014 20:39

My DSis cried because me and my other DSis (bridesmaids) didn't cry when she showed us her dress, apparently we should have been more emotional. But she is prone to adding a sprinkling of drama to any occasion!

MaloryArcher · 08/07/2014 20:43

You've clearly touched a nerve OP Grin .

It's all part of the same shallow rom-com/Cosmo culture that tells women that they've actually achieved something by getting a man to marry them.

And then they get to be a 'princess' for a day which is, of course, all that any ovary owner desires.

Never considering that almost half of them will end up divorced eh

kelper · 08/07/2014 20:46

My best friend and i cried when she found "the dress". She's no9t a princess, nor a drama queen, and we weren't on some dumb bridal programme. She just looked so beautiful and the dress was so "her" that we both shed several tears. Couldn't care less if anyone is judging us.

NuclearAttack · 08/07/2014 20:50

I tried a wedding dress on once and cried for ages.

It chafed my balls no end.

ExamStresses14 · 08/07/2014 20:59

I commented on this earlier but actually what I dislike about some posters (not the OP who sounded genuinely curious) was that if you dared to be emotional that you want to be a princess/beauty crap and are clearly vapid.

Many of those who have cried explained why and not one had mentioned that they were fulfilling their princess dreams or that they felt valued because a man had agreed to marry them.

Equally the 'criers' amongst us haven't deemed the none criers as hart hearted or cold

Being overly emotional isn't a bad thing, but sneering at people who are overly emotional just screams bitchy.

Bogeyface · 08/07/2014 21:11

I apologise Piper I didnt mean to have a go at you. I was in a snippy mood anyway, and then all the negative comments about (as exam says) anyone being emotional is some dumb reality show wannabe doing the whole hand-waving-in-front-of-the-eyes "OMG I am going, I am going!!!" pissed me off.

There is a contingent on MN that deem anything over the amount it costs to pay the registrar and a round of drinks afterwards as a gross extravagance when it comes to weddings and judge those who do go big accordingly. Its so joyless, and sad that they view something so special to others in such a negative way. Its like watching your kids open their Xmas presents and saying "I dont know why he is so excited, its only a fucking Action Man!" and I thought you were one of them, sorry Blush

I am on the fence with weddings, I like a good "do" but I hate extravagance for the sake of it. Happy for other people to do what they want though!

CarmineRose1978 · 08/07/2014 21:14

My mum and auntie cried when they saw me in my PhD graduation robes... God knows what they'd have been like if they saw me try on a wedding dress!

PiperRose · 08/07/2014 21:16

Hey Bogeyface, thanks! Seriously having never tried a wedding dress, (hang on I've been watching reality tv all day, I can get the terminology right....) sorry bridal gown Wink I was really interested.

As I said everyone sharing their own experiences has been great, beats the tv any day!

OP posts:
Icelollycraving · 08/07/2014 21:17

I didn't but my sisters did. My mum couldn't come to the wedding (abroad) due to being unwell. She came to my fitting & she looked just a bit flat. I was v grumpy that she hadn't cried. Blush

VioletHare · 08/07/2014 21:25

I didn't cry as such, but I did well up...and i'm not an overly emotional person.

I went wedding dress shopping alone (hate girl trips and hate other peoples opinions on clothing).

I'd tried on about twenty dresses that all looked like a sack of shit on me. I was properly depressed by the time I found 'my' dress. I was worried that the only one i'd find would be out of budget, worried i'd have none at all (was shopping just a few weeks before the wedding), my ego was taking a bashing every time I tried the next dress on that made me look like a bag lady.

Then I found it. I wasn't fussed on the hanger, the dress shop woman made me try it. And it was perfect. It minimised all the areas I hated, accentuated every good area. It was well within budget and I knew my shopping days were over, no more trudging round over and over.

And suddenly my eyes were watering, and the World was Good again, and I could see rainbows in every corner and hear slight birdsong in the background.

And if you're a bitter old cynic who rolls their eyes at such frivolity and emotion then you can go fuck yourself. Because I don't care. I looked amazing, and a reflection that good deserved a tear or two.

So there.

mercifulgibbon · 08/07/2014 21:33

I cry way too easily at anything. I'd probably cry if I find a dress that makes me look less like a potato than normal Grin Doesn't make me vapid or shallow.

SquigglySquid · 08/07/2014 21:34

Nope, didn't cry when I tried mine on. Got all giddy and twirled around in it though. :)

JoyceDivision · 08/07/2014 21:43

Didn't cry at weddingdress

Howled with laughter when saying wedding vows

Was tteary when had DC but thinkthat was more the sheer relief of pain ending, and being a bit overwhelmed that I had this little squirmy thing that actually needed me, rather than just a squirmy thing that belongedto someone else Grin

0pheliaBalls · 08/07/2014 22:07

I cried when I tried mine on because it was bloody horrible. We were skint and I could only afford a reduced twenty quid burgundy evening dress - I wanted a flowy sleeved medieval type thing. Didn't help that there were only three weeks between booking the wedding and the actual day so no time to shop around. I thought I looked disgusting but when DH saw me walk down the aisle he cried because he thought I looked so beautiful. When he told me that I thought, ah, dress you ain't so bad Grin

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/07/2014 17:25

I cried,I always do when I'm happy.