to not donate to any charities

[Nalia]

Apparently I am BU, but I don't earn very much money and I can't afford to give 5-10% of it away! Friend thinks everyone who earns should donate. We had a bit of a disagreement about it. I'm not intending on changing my mind and won't be donating. But am I really BU, or is friend?

Give a few pence - every little helps.

YANBU if you don't want to, but 5-10%?! Really?!

Nobody can be forced to give to charity.

If you want to but can't afford a financial donation can you give some time to a charity?

YABU to flat out refuse to give to charity at all.

Do what you like.
I'm not sure why you think it's 5-10% or nothing but you seem to feel morally fine so [shrug]

Up to you

The church used to tithe folk in the Olden Days, modern day charidee giving is an equivalent imo

Also, if your friend can't understand the pressures on your finances she ain't no friend

yanbu. if you cant afford it, dont do it. Please dont feel bad

I donate a smallish amount to local charity by monthly dd but it's not a percentage of my income, it's an amount I don't miss iyswim

YANBU. Give what you can when you can.

yanbu as its your money and its nobody elses business what you do with it

im in a similar situation op and imy pay barely covers my childcare and rent and i certainly cant afford to give money away- even a few pence.

We tithe 10% of our income to the church which is the traditional amount (and probably where you friend is getting it from). I do think giving away some if your income is important but it has to be an amount you feel comfortable with. Could you donate £5 a month to somewhere and see how it goes and then maybe increase a bit more in the future?

Tbh last year I had £20 per week for food. If I give anything we didn't eat full stop. Better this year but I couldn't give % of salary. You give what you can to a charity you believe in. Personally I hate RSPCA but have time for macmillion nurses and the local hospices. It's personal and should be private. A lot of charities are big business....

What about shopping in charity shops- and donating old stuff there? You save money over buying stuff new, you clear out old stuff, charity gets money, everyone's happy!

5-10% is probably a bit high if you are on a pretty average income, but is certainly a reasonable proportion for anyone who is a higher-rate taxpayer (if they aren't too close to the border of that rate). Not giving anything at all to any charity whatsoever suggests that you may not appreciate how lucky you are. Giving money away, even if only a modest amount, can be a joyful experience and can help you to count your blessings. Perhaps start with just 0.5% of your household income, and try putting your household income and family size into this "how rich am I" calculator to get an appreciation of how much of a difference that might be able to make to someone.

Research has shown that poorer people are often a lot more generous with their giving to charity, as a proportion of their income, than richer people. On average the more people have the less awareness they have of quite how shitty things can be for those at the bottom of the heap.

Perhaps start with just 0.5% of your household income, and try putting your household income and family size into this "how rich am I" calculator to get an appreciation of how much of a difference that might be able to make to someone.

I don't think that is a particularly accurate measure of how wealthy I am. Earning 12x more than the global average is meaningless. I don't have money to spare. Maybe I could give up healthy food, or the car, or having new clothes, but I'm not going to decrease my quality of life to allow myself to be able to give money away. I work too hard for what we have.

What we can afford is always relative.

We donate a monthly amount to two charities, one in the UK and one international. It is nowhere near 10% or our income. When money is tight we cut back on some things but not the charity donations because, whatever we still have, it is more than the people we are donating to help.

In an equitable world, we would have a lot less and a lot more people would have a bit more. We can't redress the balance completely and I'm too selfish to give up enough to make a devastating change to my lifestyle even though it would be fairer.

I do think it is unreasonable not to give anything to charity ever because everyone giving a little becomes a lot. However, it is also unreasonable that we have so much more to give in the first place yet we turn a blind eye and compare ourselves only with those who surround us.

There are millions of people in this world to whom we would find it hard to say "I cannot afford to help you" were we face to face with them, seeing how they live. Luckily for us we see those pictures only occasionally so we can make our decisions about what we can afford without them in our sights.

I second the idea of giving unwanted items to charity - I have a card which is attached to my details for gift aid purposes and recently had an email telling me that items I had donated to my local shop had raised over £200! I would never have expected this - it was all stuff that I really didn't want, so was hardly depriving myself by giving it away as I wanted to clear the space, but I'm really glad that they found homes for it all and raised money as well.

Alternatively, you can just do ad hoc stuff - Race for Life, supporting charity events locally so a day out for the kids can also be an opportunity to give spare change to a good cause rather than soft play or similar.

Your friend sounds like hard work to be honest though - anyone who yammers on about how much they donate and makes you feel uncomfortable if you can't afford it isn't worth spending time with.

If you weren't donating on principle that would suck a bit. But if you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

Agree with pps. Donate your time or to a charity shop. We give to our church every month but I suspect the 4+ hours per week running Brownie and Guide units counts just as much.

You need to ensure you and your immediate family are provided for before you go giving your money away.

No way could I afford to give 10% of my earnings away, but I do give things to charity shops, and sponsor friends when asked, as well as giving to the food bank when I can, and putting a few pence in the salvation army collecting tins when they play in town at Christmas.

You are probably giving without realising it. It's none of your friends business what you chose to do with your finances.

Be careful re the gift aid make sure you pay more tax than the items sell for otherwise the tax man chAses you for the shortfall. I had a patient who was on a pension that could chased for £20 on tax for items she donated. I was shocked the tax man watches that closely. For example i buy my books for £1 from the charity shop but return them said charity shop who then resells them for £1. I never gift aid now after the stories I've heard.

Of course you don't have money to spare OP - your lifestyle has grown to fit your income (and probably slightly exceed it) this happens to everybody. If you earned £1,000 a year more you would still say exactly the same. There are probably people earning £10,000 a year more than you who also say exactly the same thing. There are also people poorer than you who give to charity. Generosity isn't something you afford, it's a state of mind that anyone of any income can have. You don't have it clearly, and you aren't going to achieve it from this thread, which you obviously started in order have a platform to demand reassurance that you are quite correct. Sorry not to be conforming to your wishes there.

I think YABU if you never give. Fair enough, a lot of people don't have the spare money to make a regular contribution anywhere (though tbh, from your second post it doesn't actually sound like you are one of those people) but I'm fairly sure almost everyone has some spare change sometimes that they could stick in a charity pot they pass. I do think giving is very important; even if you can't afford very much it all adds up.

The idea of keeping everything we have for ourselves doesn't sit right with me. Even if 'everything' is not very much.