to not donate to any charities

[Nalia]

Apparently I am BU, but I don't earn very much money and I can't afford to give 5-10% of it away! Friend thinks everyone who earns should donate. We had a bit of a disagreement about it. I'm not intending on changing my mind and won't be donating. But am I really BU, or is friend?

no sooner has the DD been set up, the charity has got onto me, by phone and letter, asking me to UP the monthly payment!

This is partly why I refuse to donate. I used to give to the PDSA YEARS ago, as a young girls who had just started working. I was CONSTANTLY asked for more.

They would send me stickers with my name & address on, blank greeting cards, letterheads etc. to con encourage me to give them more. They would enclose little sad stories & pictures of sad looking puppies.

It really riled me that my effort to help wasn't deemed good enough, and all I was to them (or so it felt like it at the time) was a cash cow.

I stopped the dd & they upped the amount of crap they sent out.

I often think that if a charity can afford to print 100s of personalised stickers/cards/letter heads, they don't need donations, just better money management.

It is entirely up to you, although saying you can't afford to give to charity does come across as a bit selfish after your second post.
We give a monthly amount to our Church, donate items every week to a foodbank and support two charities for disabilities by direct debit. We never ever give money to animal charities, and with the exception of RNLI (DFiL's pet charity) rarely put money in collection boxes.
That doesn't make us good people or bad people, it just reflects the choices we have made. Everyone has a right to decide what to do with their money and no one can give to everything.
I do agree with the poster who mentioned charities which have massive HQs and pay large salaries to their CEOs and we did stop supporting a charity when we found out our money was being spent in that way.
If you really feel you have nothing to spare then giving items to charity shops still helps.

I very rarely donate to charity

However I do work full time for a charity (not well paid for my responsibility level) I have a team of loyal volunteers who donate their time, some won't even claim expenses if they can afford not to

I am also an unpaid executive director of a community enterprise and sit on various boards and committees around welfare reform, poverty etc

I am a single parent and struggle financially myself - charitable giving comes in many ways

My parents on the other hand donate a minimum of a seventh of their income to their church which I think is too high considering they are on pension tax credits - last year they donated their winter fuel allowance for overseas aid and spent most of their evenings going to bed early and wearing those horrible 'slanket' things earlier in the day to save putting the heating on!

I do agree with the poster who mentioned charities which have massive HQs and pay large salaries to their CEOs and we did stop supporting a charity when we found out our money was being spent in that way.

Although I can see why people get frustrated by this big charities do need to operate as businesses to a degree to survive on the scale they do, if they want to attract the best people to the roles they have to provide them with a realistic salary which is competitive.

I am volunteer for a large national charity, and yes they have a lot of paid members of staff (although a lot fewer than they did a few years back) BUT without those staff the organisation would come to a standstill as quickly as it would without the volunteers, as volunteers we simply couldn't provide the hours of work that full time members of staff can.

Sirzy both DH and DS1 have worked full time for charities in the past, so we know a little bit about it, although charities do vary widely.

I don't give cash other than pennies in tins.

But I donate and but a lot from charity shops 5 figures in total over the years.

LarrytheCucumber

It doesn't make the op selfish that she cannot afford to give to charity, don't be so stupid.

She can't afford it, that simple. There is nothing selfish in being broke.

Yanbu. Your money your choice. People can 'do good' without giving money.

Charity fund raising is important but I don't like social pressure to donate at all.

YANBU - your money, do what you want with it. I'm just not made that way and wouldn't feel good about my lifestyle choices but just because I think one way doesn't mean you should.

I donate to charity in the form of giving outgrown clothes or items I no longer need to them. I donated a sofa, and it raised over 200. I did clothes recycling for count the kicks and they got 80.

I also round up my dominos order to the nearest pound, or put pennies in charity shop boxes. I feel like we are doing our bit, but there is no way I'll tie myself in to a direct debit, or commit 5-10% of our salaries.

It is exceptionally short sighted to say higher band tax payers can afford it easily. I'm not one, my husband is. We absolutely cannot afford for us to commit that amount of money a year, so we give as and how we can.

I'm sorry but I can't believe what you earn, spend, or choose to give to charity is anyone's business but yours. Charity starts at home, and until your family have all of their necessities I wouldn't give to charity. once your families needs have been met, it's good to give, bit entirely up to you and it should be an amount that's comfortable. I might add that I give sporadically if I'm feeling flush, but I'm not in a position where I can donate a monthly amount just yet.

differentnameforthis sorry. I must have misinterpreted what she said. I don't think anyone has to give to charity.

It has got nothing to do with your friend what you do with your money. Like others I don't donate on a regular basis but I do things like giving to charity shops, giving sponsor money to friends/relatives, giving to the charity bag packs at the supermarket and putting my coppers in the boxes by the shop till. Don't let her make you feel guilty. Just do what you can if you want to.

YANBU
Nobody else's business. You certainly shouldn't feel you have to justify your choices.
Also people need to recognise that there are many ways of giving, not just financial. Somebody who gave of their time/ kindness may well achieve just as much as a few pence given here and there to charity. Your friend might profitably be told to develop some empathy and a more listening ear.

I do not do direct debit. I give money though, only when i know where it goes to, direct debit does not do that.