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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour and police

85 replies

Clairesafatgirlsname · 06/07/2014 10:31

This is more of a what would you do/say?
A couple of weeks ago, my neighbour popped round (I don't know why) I was at work and DC were with my friend at her house. For some reason, and because no body answered the door, he assumed my children were alone and called the police. I had a visit from a PCSO about 10 minutes after getting home. This weekend I'm looking after a friends dog, she's been out in the garden so I suppose he's seen her. He came round yesterday and when he rang the bell, the dog began to bark, I put her in her cage, to answer the door, which took about 10-12 seconds but when I got to the door, there was no one there. The children, who were in the living room said 'that was the man from next door' so I went over and he told me he had come round to see if we had a new dog and say hello, he heard the children and because no one answered, he called the police. Would you have called the police in this situation? I don't think he was being unreasonable, but this all happened in a couple of minutes, I'm a bit worried about going to work this week in case he calls them again for whatever reason and I'm not home to deal with it. I should also mention, I told his wife last week that I'd have a dog in the house this weekend. WWYD?

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesCake · 06/07/2014 10:48

Have you been having problems with him in other ways?

andsmile · 06/07/2014 10:49

If you are not leaving your children alone you have nothing to fear.

Do as you do and let him get on with it - the problem is with him. He will eventually get the message that his judgement is wrong and be told to stop wasting police time.

Birdsgottafly · 06/07/2014 10:49

The OP needs to answer if she has left them.

If not I would speak to the Police, it's a form of harassment, if it happens again.

magoria · 06/07/2014 10:49

Xpost I type too slow lol

Nanny0gg · 06/07/2014 10:50

But if someone came here saying they suspected 2 young children under 9 was being left alone the advice would be to phone the police or SS.

Most people wouldn't knock once and make assumptions. Why knock, get no answer, hear no sound (as no-one was home) and then straight away phone the police?

Very odd behaviour.

andsmile · 06/07/2014 10:51

Surely the police willsee there is no one there too! I think they can manage that Grin

Nanny0gg · 06/07/2014 10:51

The OP needs to answer if she has left them.

She has answered. She hasn't left them!

Birdsgottafly · 06/07/2014 10:52

""If OP is at work, neighbour falsely reports kids alone and police turns up what can she do about it if not there?
Would they break into her house or what?""

Depends on what the neighbour says, they can instantly access a house, but wouldn't do that unless they had confirmation that children under 10 were alone.

They can get contact details for a parent, so again it depends on whether the OP is contactable to confirm this.

It would be a hassle either way because the next visit would spark a SS visit.

That's why the OP needs to get this sorted out.

ThirdPoliceman · 06/07/2014 10:53

He is a drama llama. He wants to be the hero in his own comic book.
Or he is doing a controlling power game with you.

Definitely not normal. Be careful and set your boundaries.

Waltermittythesequel · 06/07/2014 10:53

The OP needs to answer if she has left them.

She did answer!

The first time nobody was there. The second time, she answered the door just not quickly enough for the weirdo neighbour.

Birdsgottafly · 06/07/2014 10:53

""She has answered. She hasn't left them!""

On these occasions, but ever?

ICanSeeTheSun · 06/07/2014 10:55

Clairesafatgirlsname Sun 06-Jul-14 10:44:25
That's what I thought, Giles. The children haven't been left alone, the first time he assumed they were as no one answered the door and the second time, I was in the house.

LadySybilLikesCake · 06/07/2014 10:55

I think there's an alternative reason why he's doing this, it's very extreme. Have you lived there long? Have you had other problems with him recently?

ICanSeeTheSun · 06/07/2014 10:56

Then I would ring 101 and see what you can do about this.

Original poster
Clairesafatgirlsname · 06/07/2014 10:56

Again, I haven't left the children alone. I think I'll talk to his wife, he's a bit scary/ aggressive. I'm worried about next week as, if he rings them, they might break the door down or come to my work, it just all seems so unnecessary. I don't know what his relationship with other neighbours is like. The only other problem I've had is he once called over the fence that we'd made too much noise on Boxing Day when in fact, we were at PIL's house.

OP posts:
MrsCosmopilite · 06/07/2014 10:57

The police are going to get fed up with him!

Agree with the comments that if you think young children are left alone you call the police, BUT you don't knock once and go away.

Maybe call round to have a quick neighbourly chat and just let him know that you wouldn't leave the children alone - just that if you're in the middle of doing something (e.g. hoovering, running a bath) you may not be able to get to the door in 2 seconds flat.

He sounds a bit nosy though - popping round for no reason (1st time) and to see if you had a dog (2nd time).

ThirdPoliceman · 06/07/2014 10:57

I'm with Lady Sybil here. There is another motive behind his actions. Dunno what it is. But be wary.

Deverethemuzzler · 06/07/2014 10:58

It sounds like he got it into his head that you leave your children alone long before he came and knocked on the door.

He sounds a bit strange.

He may be a bit obsessive about things and he has decided the kids down the street are being neglected and he keeps doing things to prove he is right.

If I were you I would talk to the police and express your concerns.

Its not illegal to leave an 8 & 9 year old alone anyway.

Birdsgottafly · 06/07/2014 10:59

I wouldn't speak to his wife, it isn't her calling them.

This is harassment and very dangerous.

The next Police visit will spark a SS referral, so nip this in the bud now via the Police.

People like your neighbour only get worse.

That's why I wanted it clear if you had left them.

Show him that you won't stand for this. At present all that is on record is that you've needed the application to be called to your address twice and if you go to his, you could be accused of being the aggressor.

Your children will soon be of an age were they can be left and you want this nonsense stopping now.

YouTheCat · 06/07/2014 10:59

Is he old and suffering from dementia?

Original poster
Clairesafatgirlsname · 06/07/2014 11:00

No, never left them, ever. Been here since last October. They moved in a couple of months before us. I think I will ring 101 or possibly go to welfare as we're in army accommodation, I don't know what they could do though and when I think about what I could say, it seems a bit of a trivial complaint but I'm starting to feel stressed.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 06/07/2014 11:02

I don't know if this is the case, but I've witnessed harassment because a male neighbour has had a problem with the mere fact that the Woman is an independant, working LP.

YouTheCat · 06/07/2014 11:02

Log it with the police. Then they can have a word with him about wasting police time and harassment. That might stop him. If it doesn't, at least it is on record that his calls are malicious.

Deverethemuzzler · 06/07/2014 11:03

I don't think its trivial at all!

It sounds like he will do it again. He seems to need very little 'proof' that the kids are being left alone. How do you know he is going to believe you or anyone else who says they aren't?

It sounds like he might be watching you. That is creepy

wafflyversatile · 06/07/2014 11:03

Speak to his wife. See if she is more sensible.

Log it with 101 too. Include the boxing day non event.

Is he elderly?