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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dh thinks it is acceptable to say "he gave it to me and Peter" rather than "he gave it to Peter and me"

101 replies

JimBobplusasprog · 05/07/2014 19:19

I was taught that the personal pronoun always follows the proper noun. Dh has asked me to give an example of when "me and Peter" is incorrect.

Um... all the time? Proper noun first as a matter of courtesy and style. Aibu?

OP posts:
Fortysomethingwinelover · 05/07/2014 21:45

I would still say "Daniel and I."

Yup, I'm bored shitless.....

Original poster
JimBobplusasprog · 05/07/2014 21:48

What football? Daniel is in bed asleep having watched Matilda.

OP posts:
ZanyMobster · 05/07/2014 22:14

Daniel and I is definitely not right, it would be like saying he gave it to I, that doesn't make sense, it has to be 'me'!

Aliceinvodkaland · 05/07/2014 22:19

i used to fish on the river with a peter, he was an annoying bastard!! Grin

marilyntaylor · 05/07/2014 22:22

But Fortysomething, Daniel and I would be grammatically incorrect. Do you really not care? (Sorry, but I'm a secret pedant, and this has always been my pet hate!!)

FurryTrousers · 05/07/2014 22:30

"In real life hardly anyone is called Peter - the poor sod only exists in grammar questions and maths problems."

How could you forget our very own MN icon, Peter Andre?
He would be very disappointed.

PintOfWine · 05/07/2014 22:31

Easiest rule is - can a verb follow? No? It's "me"
Yes? It's "I"

Peter and ? ate lunch. - verb follows so it's Peter and I set lunch.

He gave Peter and ? sandwiches - can't stick a verb at end so it's He gave Peter and me sandwiches.

ICanHearYou · 05/07/2014 22:31

The only thing that really got the pedant in me angry to the point of bursting out into vigilanty activity, was when I left a job and was asked to attend an 'exit interview'

They could at least have called it exiview

Urgh

Fortysomethingwinelover · 05/07/2014 22:32

I've never used "and me". My English teacher must have been pretty crap. I've always said "and I" if I was referring to another person and myself. Saying "and me" doesn't sound right.

PintOfWine · 05/07/2014 22:32

Ate not set. Really autocorrect? You correct it the second time I type it?!

Universal · 05/07/2014 22:36

Maybe he gave it to Peters and Lee?

Merguez · 05/07/2014 22:36

People obviously don't teach grammar the way they used to (I am 50).

Me is the object.

I is the subject.

End. Of.

Anniegetyourgun · 05/07/2014 22:43

This is like people saying "we girls" because they think it's posher than saying "us girls", even when "us" is grammatically correct. "Would you like to join we?" "No thank you, me is a pedant."

marilyntaylor · 05/07/2014 22:47

Merguez has summed it up perfectly. I am 53, so I am also old enough to have been taught grammar properly at school.

EBearhug · 05/07/2014 23:18

he gave it to I, that doesn't make sense

Unless you're speaking thick Dorset.

TheEnchantedForest · 05/07/2014 23:48

Forty something -lots of people do get this wrong. They were taught 'and I' and think it is always correct although it definitely isn't!

sashh · 06/07/2014 07:51

Does he say 'myself' as well. I mean does he use it instead of 'me'?

I could cope with 'me and Peter' but not with 'please call myself'.

claraschu · 06/07/2014 08:02

I agree that Latin is a great way to learn English grammar.

I am so irritated by people saying "I" when they mean "Me". I had to give up my crush on Sherlock because he did this (heartbreaking).

StealthPolarBear · 06/07/2014 08:07

I'm 34!

FellReturneth · 06/07/2014 08:13

I am usually a stickler for good grammar, but there are some things that matter and some that don't.

I don't care whether which way around you put the proper noun and the personal pronoun so long at the sentence in question makes sense, and in this case it does. Although admittedly some things just sound better said a certain way.

I can see the argument for putting the proper noun first in the example upthread of

'Peter and I went to the shop'

because saying

'I and Peter went to the shop'

just sounds odd. But to my ear, 'he gave it to me and Peter' doesn't sounds odd at all.

If, however, your DH was happy with 'he gave it to Peter and I' or 'Me and Peter gave it to him' or 'he give it us' Hmm then you would be quite within your rights to give him a very thorough kicking.

FellReturneth · 06/07/2014 08:14

Typical. Whenever I lay down the law on a pedants' thread I always make some typo that makes me look illiterate. Blush

I don't care whether which…' Hmm

DoJo · 06/07/2014 08:21

Muphry's Law Fell - you're not alone!

Andrewofgg · 06/07/2014 08:37

Alice It does sound vaguely rude

It does indeed - and I have remembered why. One of Tom Lehrer's songs!

NoodleOodle · 06/07/2014 08:55

You can say that it was given to me and Peter if you want to add more detail about Peter in the same sentence, like: he gave it to me a Peter, when he finally arrived. No?

victrixludorem · 06/07/2014 10:51

Ah, NoodleOodle I think that would require an Oxford comma before the "and":

"He gave it to me, and Peter when he finally arrived.