'Why isn't my child Mary' syndrome

[Pud2]

AIBU to get irritated by parents who complain to the school when their DC doesn't get a good part in a production?

I hate my kids being in plays as they hate it that said I think it should be noted who does what each year and schools should ensure parts are spread around over the course of a primary career as performing at some point is important.Kids who don't like it should be supported to do it at least once.

Complete waste of money,time and resources if the same kids have all the star roles every year.

My XDH and I went to our DD's Nativity Play initiation. She didn't want to be in it because she's shy but she 'had' to be an angel. I made her a frock gown from a pillow case and a halo of silver tinsel like all the other angels. We waited for her to appear on stage. She did at the back of the group of angels. We noticed her very briefly and then she slid silently (no one else noticed) away towards the back and off stage left. She just didn't want to be on stage......

YABU OP. I find it incredibly entertaining to listen to parents with this syndrome. I may have been known to wind them up and say "ooh yes, you should go and complain about Chloe never being Mary" etc etc.

I think it depends. Some schools just give lead roles to the same predictable children year after year after year. No one else gets a chance to shine

The problem with my school is that they are obsessed with how they look to others, so tend to choose the very very obvious kids. This year we have seen the quieter children act and sing for a change and they are so talented but even if they weren't, I wouldn't care. I'd rather everyone joined in even if they sang off key.

I was a charity collector in Scrooge. Some boy said my line before it was even meant to be said so I shoved him and said, "that was MY line, you git!" (I was 8) and bellowed out the line at the top of my voice.

The audience collapsed!

In future plays, I was in the crowd. I cannot fathom why.

Edam "When I grew older and saw some mad Victorian illustrations of Gabriel - poss Rosetti or someone who illustrated Blake's Songs of Innocence - I was amazed. Had no idea he could be depicted as a very muscular bloke!"

Yip, I was surprised to eventually learn that Gabriel was actually a bloke. I really, really would have loved to be an angel

I recently got in touch with an old school friend through FB. Haven't seen her in over 25 years. What do I remember most? That she played Mary nearly 40 yrs ago (yes she had the loveliest long blonde hair in class).

My kids school is really good, I'm so impressed with the shows they put on. They try and give every kid a role as much as they can rather than just have a few kids doing everything. My kids were usually in the background then recently, both had main roles with the most talking. They were surprising great (of course) and I really was a very proud beaming mum. I usually cry during the nativity too - sad sap that I am.

I see no hate towards blondes here: do please point me to it, since I missed it.

I stated a fact: in my school, it was explicit that Mary "had" to be blonde. That's all I was questioning.

It was said 'tongue in cheek'....and was pointing out how it was in sharp contrast to the thread that was on recently about red headed children :)

(Everybody has moved on.)

Great topic OP!

Seeing as Mary is usually a non speaking part, maybe those of us that were chosen to be Mary shouldn't be so proud of it lol. (Mary once age 7).

I always wanted to be an angel because you got to wear beautiful golden wings.

I've just remembered being Mary at the tender age of 7 and wondering how I was going to act giving birth to the baby Jesus

I was a little disappointed to find that the Angels would surround me and one would have the baby hidden under their frock.

I think I expected to have centre stage for full on screaming, panting and pushing

I'm brunette and was Mary in the French Nativity in junior school. I think it was because of my enthusiasm for French lessons really. Joseph did most of the talking and was played by the most academically able boy in the class.

You may want to practise your "tongue-in-cheek" tone: it was ... subtle

...because frankly it bores me shitless when some staggeringly untalented, mumbling, hesitant child stumbles through a few lines.

I'd understand this attitude (to an extent) if you were talking about a performance put on by a drama group for example. If it's just a run of the mill school performance how many children are going to be staggeringly talented?

I was that parent with ds2.

He has had speech therapy for most of his life and struggled to speak loudly enough to be heard in a normal conversation with background noise.

His primary did a play where the y6 would all have a speaking part so ds2 and I had discussed ways to help him project his voice. I thought that this would help his confidence.

The school issued the parts and gave ds2 no lines. Nothing. I was fucking livid. His confidence went, his voice got quieter and he became withdrawn.

I became that parent.

Thankfully his secondary has been awesome.

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I'd understand this attitude (to an extent) if you were talking about a performance put on by a drama group for example. If it's just a run of the mill school performance how many children are going to be staggeringly talented?>

Like I said, it's a typical amdram attitude. They aren't talented enough to actually make it, so they have to turn every little innocent bit of fun into a competition in order to prove that they are 'better' than people who don't realise they are competing. I've seen it time and time again.

because frankly it bores me shitless when some staggeringly untalented, mumbling, hesitant child stumbles through a few lines.

You may be surprised to learn that school productions are not put on for the benefit of the parents and nobody gives a toss whether you are bored shitless or not.

School productions are part of the curriculum and they (hopefully) meet learning objectives for all of the children. It's just a shame that some teachers feel it necessary to play it safe and always give the best speakers the biggest parts.

I think the audience loves it when young children make mistakes during a school play... it adds to the charm and makes it more personal.

I don't want to watch some precocious, over confident primadona innunciating their words perfectly.
Mistakes bring more character to the play. I'm all for giving others a chance too.

I have never heard parents complain that the child has not got the main part more that their child is yet again passer by number 12. At my DCs primary school governors children did get the main parts but I do believe that was more to do with governors having a certain confidence that their DC had as well.

I was Mary in a primary school nativity.
It was a joyous occasion. I think they gave me the part because I was cute and they felt sorry for me(recently divorced parents). It definitely made me feel special and boosted my confidence (at least, for that term )
I might put it on my next CV.

Sometimes the less confident children need a gentle push......

I've seen a fair few nativities through my work. They are an utter joy.
I care not a jot about "mistakes". (the children are usually very small) and I don't think the objective is to attract the eye of a spotter from "the stage"
I always cry