Relatives kind of stealing our name?!

[jules2106]

hi everyone,just posting this out of curiosity ad interested to know peoples views!we have a 3yo son called finlay&brother in law just had a son&they've named him Finn.they told all the rest of the family this would be their boys name during pregnancy except us so they obviously thought it might be an issue!
neither myself or partner have said a word about it to them (certainly wouldn't be huffy with them) tho privately we both don't really know what to make of it.if im being honest,im a bit miffed-could argue they're different names but bit too similar at same time (esp as my son s sometimes nicknamed Finn!would love to hear what others think!

devere that is bizarre behaviour and
so it was not just that they had always loved that name and wanted to use it, they actually thought they were doing something lovely by naming their child after yours as some sort of tribute/memorial

Phantam you situation is totally different, I would expect relatives to check with you if they want to call their baby the same name.

Yes, I would be upset if it was Thomas. There are so many names around.

If a name is supposed to be so unimportant that people shouldn't care if it is copied and should get a grip, then why is it so important that people choose a name the same as yours. Why can't they choose a different one. It is contradictory.

get over it

Be Greek. Ds has same name as his cousin and grandfather. I've adjusted!

We have 6 of one name, 3 of another and 11 variations of another there are even some juniors

I wouldn't let it bother you

I have two cousins named Margaret, their birthdays are a few months apart and dear knows why aunty 2 chose it. Aunty 1 named her dd after her own mil but aunty 2 must have just liked the name and we always used the surnames in conversation.
My dgs is Finn and there is a Finlay (Finn at home) in his class. The teacher just uses Finlay and Finn and I suggest you do the same and refer to your ds as Finlay (the name you chose) and his cousin as Finn. You can't 'own' or 'steal' a name.

I think it is an odd thing to do but lots of people don't.
I discounted loads of names I liked because we knew one. My sister was going to call her son my uncles nickname and couldn't see a problem.

to Phantom and Devere

It would and does annoy me. Obviously you dont own a name - blah blah blah, but when you spend months choosing a name and someone else names their baby the same or similar then it is annoying. Friends - not annoying, Family - very annoying.

My DD was born 6 weeks after her cousin. Cousin knew what we were calling DD and then spent ages choosing a name and called her something very similar to DD - Think Molly and Polly. I was not amused.

I have a cousin 18 months older than me and I find it odd that my mother gave me the same name as her! My aunt (Mum's sister and this girl's mum) was furious with her, asking could she not have picked from thousands of other names.
Luckily, we live in different countries but when we went over to each other's houses on holidays there was mass confusion with our extended family!
OP, I would say YANBU.

I think it is a really odd thing to do. They could have chosen any name. Now there are two cousins with pretty much the same name (as, over time, your Finlay will no doubt have a lot of people calling him Fin).

However, I don't think I would get annoyed about it, but I would definitely be mulling it over quite a bit.

cannot imagine why this would possibly matter to anyone.

Well I'd be miffed too! Of course you don't own the name, but so what? There are so many names out there you'd have thought they could come up with something else. We liked several names, but chose to go with something different because we already knew DC within our family/circle of friends with those names. I wanted one of my DSs have my beloved Grandad's name, but its a very popular name at the moment and we know about five boys with that name, so we gave it as a middle name instead. So no, YANBU OP.

If it's a name they like, it's a name they like. When I had dd, we had our name ready but didn't tell anyone. Dd's aunt was also pregnant and announced her name to everyone. It sounded incredibly similar to ours and we worried that everyone would think we copied just because we didn't tell everyone first (think names like Callie and Kayleigh). In the end we just stuck with it because that was the baby's name. You can't really own a name generally.

But I think the people who do it with the name of a child who has passed is something different completely. That is awful and selfish.

Spent months choosing a name?gosh what an emotional roller coaster.you must be exhausted
Some of you are precious princesses incandescent anyone has temerity to copy your name
You do know unless your child is called foofy it will meet and be at school with same name

It is surely the risk you take when you choose such a popular name?

Of course it's bonkers to give cousins the same name! Every family conversation about them will when have to start with establishing which on you're talking about. Deeply tedious.

Not tedious in least
Only tedious if one can't follow conversation to establish topic of conversation

Oh fgs. Nobody is incandescent with rage or howling at the moon. The op is, and I quote, a bit miffed. She isn't even mentioning it to other people.

If you were planning to name your baby the same name as your nephew and weren't keeping the name a secret, of course you'd mention it in a normal familial situation. How many times do people post that they can't use x y and z names because close family members already have? Or do people ask about using the same name as a close family member and acknowledge it feels a bit odd.

No you can't steal a name, no it's not life and death. But the op isn't screaming obscenities and doing a dirty protest on their doorstep. She is merely "a bit miffed" and in private.

Yanbu.

Hugely unpopular opinion on here though

to Devere and Phantom, how spectacularly insensitive of those people!

Call your wean foofy,that'll practically guarantee you no one will steal your name
Save you getting all worked up bout stolen name

Named my goldfish 'Lucinda Jane' after the proposed name for next door neighbours' child; they weren't amused, although it was intended as a compliment, and gave the baby a different name when she was born. Still feel slightly guilty.