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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bedrooms for DCs?

55 replies

honourinoneeye · 04/07/2014 16:42

We have four children, the eldest two turned six in May and are boy/girl twins.

Then we have Ds1, who was two in April, and DD2, who is just a month old. She is obviously in with us.

We have a 3 bed house and I want DD1 to have her own room and DS1 and DS2 to share. DH thinks this is unfair on DS1.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?

OP posts:
AllDirections · 04/07/2014 16:45

YANBU It makes perfect sense for DS1 and DS2 to share. I'm presuming that DD2 will eventually move in with DD1.

ginnybag · 04/07/2014 16:47

Well, on the basis that the new baby will one day have to share with her sister, how is this unfair?

Eventually, you will have two rooms with two children each. What's your DH's problem?

If he doesn't like the current arrangement, what does he suggest instead?

Finola1step · 04/07/2014 16:47

At this age, I don't think the age of the children matter. DD1 does not have to have her own room. But it the two boys would share a room more easily, then put them in together.

At this age, it really depends on how well the children will actually sleep in the same room together. You may find that the 2 year old disturbs the 6 year old which is not ideal on a school night.

Original poster
honourinoneeye · 04/07/2014 16:50

We are going to be moving to a more spacious property within the next 12-18 months which will allow all the children to have their own rooms, so DDs 1 and 2 sharing may never actually happen, or if it does only very temporarily.

Finola's argument is the same as DH's, but DD doesn't want to share with her brother, she is quite private.

OP posts:
ProudAS · 04/07/2014 16:50

Would DD1 get used to having her own room and resent sharing with DD2 in the future? Might it be best to have all 3 older ones in same room for now?

attheendoftheday · 04/07/2014 16:50

I can't see any other way to do it, what is your dh's solution? The eldest two share while dc3 gets his own room? Both little ones stay in with you and the big ones get a room each?

YANBU, I would divide it the same way you have.

ProudAS · 04/07/2014 16:51

Sorry x-post. Put DSs together for now if they don't disturb each other.

defineme · 04/07/2014 16:54

What is ds1 opinion?

ikeaismylocal · 04/07/2014 16:54

I would personally keep the twins together until they are about 10, I wouldn't want a 6 year old having to share with a toddler as a 6 year old is likely to have toys which are choking hazards.

Original poster
honourinoneeye · 04/07/2014 16:56

ikea - they're boy/girl twins. I've put both boys in together :)

OP posts:
Jinty64 · 04/07/2014 17:03

I, personally, would put the twins together in the bigger room and the toddler in the smaller room but I don't think it matters. Which ever combination works best until you move.

hmmmwhatnow · 04/07/2014 17:03

At that age why go by gender?

I'd be putting twins together and 2 year old on their own until you move. The age mix doesn't work and isn't fair otherwise.

So YABU

Original poster
honourinoneeye · 04/07/2014 17:05

I don't really like the thought of a boy and a girl sharing - one thing if there's no alternative or if you're on holiday for example, but since we have two boys, one girl and two rooms the logical thing to do (to me) is keep DD on her own.

She wouldn't want to share either; she stopped wanting to bath with or get changed in front of her brother a couple of years ago.

OP posts:
Jinty64 · 04/07/2014 17:05

You will, presumably, have moved by the time there is any concern re. gender.

Original poster
honourinoneeye · 04/07/2014 17:07

Jinty, 'concern' is I suppose in the eye of the beholder!

DD is old enough to want privacy and that's good enough for me.

When we move depends on when DH can secure a new job, when we sell our house and other factors but certainly before the twins start secondary school.

OP posts:
Jinty64 · 04/07/2014 17:15

Jinty, 'concern' is I suppose in the eye of the beholder!

Indeed!

Well, you have decided then Hmm so I'm not sure why you are asking.

ChickenFajitasAndNachos · 04/07/2014 17:22

Well it is probably bit unfair on DS1 but there isn't really another solution.

Original poster
honourinoneeye · 04/07/2014 17:23

If you re read my OP, it was DH who believes the twins should share not me.

I wondered what others would do.

OP posts:
ChickenFajitasAndNachos · 04/07/2014 17:26

I'm not sure as it's tricky with girls and boys and the 4 year age gap.

MollyBdenum · 04/07/2014 17:33

If it's a short term thing, my preference would be good the twins to share. DD will be 8 in October and shares with her younger brother. The children in her class still get changed together for PE and have unisex toilets. Presumably they both have the same bedtime and bedtime routine and are less likely to wake up at night/wet the bed etc than the 2 year old. If privacy is a big deal, they could have curtains around their beds,but I think that 6 or 7 year old siblings sharing a room is fine.

Bowlersarm · 04/07/2014 17:33

I'm fairly certain I'd put the twins in together until we moved house.

littlejohnnydory · 04/07/2014 17:38

I'd keep the twins in together TBH, fair enough if she's feeling self conscious then separate bath times etc (although mine are 7 and 5 and not at all self conscious yet) but really bedroom is just to sleep and play in, what's private that will be going on in the bedroom? or do they get changed there? i'm surprised that a 6 year old would think twice about getting changed in front of her brother but maybe let her change in the bathroom or your bedroom if she wants to?

Original poster
honourinoneeye · 04/07/2014 17:43

She's been like it since she was 4 - she just is quite a private wee soul :)

OP posts:
ikeaismylocal · 04/07/2014 17:51

It sounds like it is you that has mixed gender sleeping arrangements rather than your children, I think it's quitesad for a 4 year old to be shy about her body already.

There is nothing sexual about a 6 year old and therefore I think yabu to split you children up bassed on their genitals, in my opinion it would be as sensible to insist that the children with blue eyes share a room and the child with brown eyes gets their own room.

I feel sorry for your older ds who won't be able to have his toys out as toddler brother could injure himself with them.

Original poster
honourinoneeye · 04/07/2014 17:55

I'm sure DS1 will appreciate your pity Confused

OP posts: