to think it's rude to begin a sentence with the word "Actually"

[weneedtotalkaboutmusic]

and even more so if that sentence is any kind of advice or lecture or correction on the subject of manners.

I first read this in an Enid Blyton book (Malory Towers?) as a child. It seemed right then and it seems right now.

"My friend does Actually followed by my name.

IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY.

and breathe."

Ooh that is bad.
I realised someone I thought was a friend didn't like me at all because she would start sentences thus:
"I wouldn't worry about it weneed".

I was a bit dim and it took me a while.....

Ok so I've annoyed you twice, OP.

(Three times if you don't like sentences starting with 'ok' as well as all your other criteria)

We are moons apart on the use of the English language.

dammit Zoe you have spoilt my pattern.

Perhaps that was ok because the information was about you?

no you only annoyed me once bowler.

and that only very very slightly. barely even registering on the annoyancometer.

I'm completely ok with ok, btw. "ok" is a sort of gathering of mutual resources.

'Basically' boils my piss...

huh.

what are the piss-boiling properties of basically?

Sorry

"Listen, is that thunder?"

Actually could be useful not offensive.

I annoyed you twice!

I don't mind sentences starting with 'Actually' and I said 'go with it' which you subsequently said was annoying too.

Sorry to be picky OP, but you shouldn't have me down as being annoying only 'very very slightly'. You should have me down as being annoying in the extreme.

That's the thing. You are nice, so the way I was 'speaking' you found acceptable, despite the words I actually used.

More irritating than 'actually' is starting a sentence with 'well, look...'. It was a Blair favourite too.

Bowlersarm,

Now I am not finding you annoying at all.

Now, starting a sentence "Sorry, but...." is possibly even worse than Actually.

Is "actually" the problem, or just something one focuses on after being contradicted?

A lot of people find being contradicted annoying, and removing "actually" from my vocabulary is just re-arranging deckchairs. I'm not going to stop contradicting people until they Stop Being Wrong. On the internet and in real life.

My husband starts his sentences with "Listen...
is he Polish?

so the problem is actually people contradicting you OP

I'm not being funny but........ Usually finished with some sarcastic comment.

Aargh. Gives me the rage.

@SarcyMare. I guess that's about right but it's the disguised element that bugs me. Disguised slap in the face and all that.

Whereas a passionate "NO! I disagree! I find the opposite" is fine by me.

Alain de Botton writes well about superficially polite sentences that are really about annihilating the other person. Must buy DH a birthday present then might look it up and randomly post it on here not that anyone's interested but me prob.

Sentences begun with 'To be honest' really irritate me ... on two counts.

One, they (rightly or wrongly) make me suspicious that there might well be a wee fib or embellishment in whatever the speaker is telling me.

Conversely, am I meant to assume that everything the speaker doesn't prefix with 'To be honest' is a lie?

Actually is a perfectly good word.

Nope, he's kenyan.
Tony blair.

It just feels like a command.
I order you to pay attention, woman.

Grr

i know hec, my polish ex used to say it at the beginning of every sentence...his only excuse was that it is normal in polish...
sounded bloody annoying to me!!

"With the greatest respect...." followed by something that displays no respect at all.

I totally overuse "actually" within a sentence, but not in the way the OP describes, but in the "this actually happened" sense. I also overuse "totally".

If DH begins a sentence with

"Can I ask you a question" it's always something he wants to complain to me about.

It's always done in a kind of sarcastic tone too and it drives me mad.

I just reply "no" now

Ok, I'm going to bite and be the dim one...

I realised someone I thought was a friend didn't like me at all because she would start sentences thus:
"I wouldn't worry about it weneed".

I was a bit dim and it took me a while.....

please explain to me why this means she doesn't like you?!?

(and before anyone comments, I know that the ?!? will also annoy some people )

Words aren't annoying - people are!
Someone who uses 'actually' to mean 'Check me out, I'm about to undermine you and make myself look brilliant' is annoying.
Someone who uses 'actually' to mean 'I'm sure that is true, but this study has shown other benefits to x,y,z that might make that irrelevant' is imparting useful information.

I think any phrase used repeatedly by someone who grates your cheese will be annoying as a focal point for their twattishness, when the poor word has done nothing to deserve a negative reputation.

Alain de Botton writes well about superficially polite sentences that are really about annihilating the other person

really, tell us more....is actually one of his then? I like ADB