breastfeeding mums???

[Jumpingovaries1]

Can you give me your tips please? I only managed to feed dd1 for 5 days looking back I now realise it didn't work out as I didn't expect how much she would want to feed and coupled with all the comments of she can't be getting enough if she is feeding again etc etc I gave up and switched to formula. I also had stupidly read a very routine based baby book ( you can prob guess which one) and was determined to make a routine work I can now see that life would have been much easier for me and dd if I had just went with the flow.
I'm pregnant again and I am determined to make it work I've been reading up on it and now realise that the first few weeks/nights it can be pretty much constant. How did you cope with this? And did you end up sleeping with your baby we have bought a bedside cot as thought this would make through the night much easier. Any tips would be really appreciated Thanks

If you're on Facebook, join attachment parenting uk....sounds like you're going more down this route this time and they are always posting articles on this sort of thing, it's a good support base too to see that other people are doing the same- especially if those around you think you are 'making a rod for your own back'...which is ridiculous. Good luck, have no advice as don't have my baby yet but am planning to bed share and bf on demand.

We're you given any assistance last time around?
I'd suggest talking to you midwife about your concerns, she may be able to refer you to any local breastfeeding services.

OP, I have bf 3 babies now, for a total of 4.5 years in total - the first time was very difficult for the first two months (painful) but then became a doodle, the second two were much easier from the beginning.

My tips

• Expect to be feeding constantly for the first 2 months, then if you're not, you can be pleasantly surprised
• Decide not to care what other people think, and just get on and feed when and where you need to
• Don't worry about whether they're feeding for hunger or comfort. In the early stages, it doesn't matter, just feed them when they want it.
• Bedside cot a great idea. I co-slept with mine, because I found it easier.
• Don't bother with nighttime nappy changes unless they do a poo. Keep yourself as sleepy as possible, so you can drop off again after the feed.
• Work out a strategy for essentials - someone else does the shopping or internet shopping, maybe some help with cleaning for the first two months, if there's anyone around to help entertain your older DC that's great - if not, a lot of reading books together or watching TV while bf is fine, it's only for a while

By 8 weeks, it's radically different - you're feeding much less, the baby latches on quickly and easily, everything is much easier. So don't feel that the way it is in the early weeks is how it will be forever! Good luck.

I went with a very simple theory which was pre 6 month olds he no ability to plan or manipulate so if they want to feed, feed them, thy are not "wrapping you around their fingers", people who say this or that "you should teach them who's boss" are idiots, babies don't have the ability to learn that kind of thing at that age. If you just feed on demand an ignore routine and housework you have a much happier time I it this time. Xx

The kellymom site is great too.

Constant feeding to begin with is normal. I survived on caffeine.

There's a breastfeeding topic in Talk (can't link on phone) which is a good place to ask questions and get support.

And yes. Very little sleep at first because of frequent feeds! As for whether baby's getting enough milk, you need to look at things like are there plenty of wet and dirty nappies, is baby settling between feeds, is baby putting on weight. Not really whether they want milk more than once every 4 hours or whatever.

Find a pro breastfeeding support group. Sure Start centres run them, but you will find other Mum groups in your community where it is well supported.

Honestly, the best advice is, if her nappy is dry, stick her on the boob. Repeat as often as needed. Ignore other advice from people that don't know or formula fed. If you are struggling with complications, speak to your midwife or NHS feeding consultant.

I found that rubbing a little breast milk onto my nipples after every feed helped to combat sore and cracked skin HTH x

The constant feeding wore me down with both of mine for the first few weeks - it really is hard going. I have a 12 week old and breastfeeding makes my life so easy, but a few weeks ago I was crying with frustration on the sofa with an endlessly cluster feeding baby.

What made it manageable - knowing it would get better soon! I knew he would keep spacing feeds further apart and that the cluster feeding would finish. Having family,friends, boxsets and books to pass the time made it more enjoyable. And this time around I did express a bottle every few days from two weeks old just to have a bit of a break. The mad feeding frenzy days don't last all that long, I struggled at times but with both babies it became easy around 8 weeks and breastfeeding is a pleasure now!

Hi op. Please don't join a way of bringing up your baby.

It always worries me when parents day they are AP etc as by actually doing that you are immediately planning how you want your baby to be and not necessarily how they are.

My pfb loved cuddles. The second hated them. He would have detested being in a carrier or constantly against me. If I had read the AP books I would have felt an utter failure.

You do exactly what feels right for you and your family. Keep off the parenting books and websites. (Except mumsnet of course) your circumstances are unique to you so no one else's ethos will totally suit you. However they are useful for practical tips.

BF can seem to be constant in the early days but you can establish a routine if you need. You already have a child so you may actually need more of a routine this time than with the first baby.

Go with the babies flow and be kind to yourself. Bet it's far easier now anyway as you know what you are about.

I basically let my LO dictate the feeds! For the first 4 weeks it felt like it was all I did!

He would go on for a few minutes here and there and then other times feed for an hour straight. In the first few weeks I had a few 'nursing holidays' which basically involved hunkering down in bed, surrounded by everything we could need, a tv series lined up and lots of skin to skin and just practiced getting our latch right and finding out which holds worked best. He's my first so I think it would be tougher with another little one due to the time required of this though!I did find it really good for establishing supply (and enjoying lots of cuddles!)

I had a co-sleeper cot at the side of our bed for when he was reallytiny but now he's bigger (7months) he co sleeps in the bed!

Buy lots of Lansinoh and apply liberally to your nipples as often as possible!!

Good luck (and congratulations), the best advice i got was don't over think it or stress, that makes even the little difficulties seem like mountains and can make it miserable. If it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world.

Oh, and if it's painful - paracetamol (not Neurofen, as that gets into your milk) and Lansinoh!

DO NOT JOIN AP SITES ETC just as bad as relying on routine books. Just have a bitch and moan on here.

My top and only tip is "If it cries stick a boob in it"

I EBF both mine for 14 months each and they never had a bottle. I found it very easy to be honest.

I think I found it easy because I didn't give a toss about what anyone else said or did. I was just so happy in my little bubble with my babies. I co slept for first couple of weeks, then in cot beside bed.

I managed to go out with friends, even took DD to a wedding when she was just 10 days old, went on holiday when she was 3 months. I don't think I would have been able to do all those things as easily if I had been bottle feeding so try to see the positives.

Just roll with it, don't stress, feed baby when it wants feeding and screen out anyone who is pressurising you to do anything you don't want to do.

Finally, I know this one gets trotted out all the time, but sleep when baby sleeps.

Good Luck!

My tips would be to get as much help as possible for those first few weeks. Stock the freezer up with ready meals and get lots of quick energy foods in (cake, flapjack, biscuits). Have a flask of tea or squash constantly to hand. Keep repeating to yourself it will get Easier and the constant feeding is only for a couple of weeks and it will all settle down!
Good luck.

It will not necessarily be "radically different" at 8 weeks as one poster said . I gave up at 3 months as it was impossible to leave the house due to constant feeding which was as frequent day and night as from day one.

Hi OP, I bottle fed both of mine and with my first, i bought into that whole "routine" thing until he was about 6 weeks old and realised if he was hungry he was hungry and it didn't matter a jot how many hours it had been since he was last fed. With my second I bottle fed on demand from day 1 and it was a much easier start even though I was doing more if that makes sense?

Just wanted to reassure you that whatever method of feeding you choose, the routine thing can be a massive PITA if that's the route you go down. Sounds like by binning the routine thing you've already made things a lot easier for yourself!

Can't offer any practicalities on breast feeding but just wanted you to know I whole heartedly endorse the binning of routines much to the dismay of my mum and MIL who reared children in the 70s

Find out all you can about breast feeding beforehand, from people who have been successful, so youre not going in with false expectations. No-the stone told me about cluster feeding and growth spurts when my lo was born so I felt like something was wrong when she needed to feed all the Time!

Invest in a wrap style sling so that even when baby is constantly feeding you can get up and get yourself a drink / sandwich if you need to. This was also stop you going out of your mind sitting still all day.

Remember that growth spurts don't last very long and after 2 months it all gets significantly eAsier. After 8 -10 weeks, feeds get shorter, cluster feeding becomes less frequent and you even find that babies can wait a minute or two for a feed if you distract them.

I BF my DD for a year. It was difficult and very painful in the beginning ( I remember curling my toes into the carpet it hurt so much) but rubbing the milk in and some generous applications of Lansinol helped that and I did get better and became totally pain-free (except when she got teeth and learned to bite... ). I think you need to expect that it will feel like every waking moment and quite a lot of those you would like to be sleeping for will be dedicated to BF-ing in the early days / weeks but it does reduce as both you and baby get into a routine. I did seek advice from my local NCT breastfeeding group and got quite a lot of help in the beginning from their counsellors which did help and I would highly recommend those if you need. Ours was based in our local children's centre. I also went to a BF-ing group for a few weeks but didn't particularly enjoy it, so stopped going. Others found it helpful though, so continued and it might be worth considering.

I also had 'that' book and decided that it looked like far too much hard work and stressful so ignored it. I did have the occasional 'pang' of "should I be making her get into a proper routine?" but figured that in all likelihood we'd end up finding our own routine of sorts in the end, which we pretty much did.

Agree re Kellymom and the box sets ideas. I spent a LOT of time on the sofa catching up with all sorts of series.

Have a big glass of water to hand if you're in for a long feed as you'll need it and use it as an excuse to eat a lot of chocolate! You need to keep those calories up to keep baby fed.....

Ultimately though, I would say the best thing you can do is try not to stress about it too much. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You won't have failed and your baby will never worry about it as long as they're getting something! My mum couldn't feed either me or my brother and neither of us feel we've suffered as a result!!

Sorry, I meant no-body not no-the stone. That was a very weird autocorrect. Damn kindle!

Get a sling. Google sling meets / sling libraries and try some before you buy. When you learn to feed in one it makes life so easy.

Feed on demand, that will mean some days you do nothing but feed, so good books / DVD box sets, bottles of water and healthy snacks are a must.

Any comments about baby not getting enough / needs formula just smile and tell them you'll think about it but are fine for now. Any comments about not being able to share feeds or look after baby smile and tell them to pop the kettle on / do the dishes / make a sandwich / insert task here!

And mostly, relax. If you need help the sites above are great, so is the feeding topic on here, there are some amazing posters.

Decide about bedsharing etc when baby is here.

The best advice I got, remember, baby doesn't read the manuals so they will do their own thing ;-)

If anyone had told me how much a newborn feeds I wouldn't have believed them! The "feeding frenzies" in the evening were the worst bit. My lovely DH looked after me, did all the housework, cooking etc even left me a packed lunch when he went to work for the first couple of weeks! (had also had c section so this really helped). Stock freezer up in advance too. When she was about 6 weeks I also started expressing so DH could give her a bottle in the evening and I could have a bit of a break, nice bath etc. This also means she will take a bottle so I have been able to have a couple of evenings out too (not until about 12 weeks old though).
I still think the feeding frenzies were easier for me than making up bottles of formula, sterilizing etc would have been as I didn't really have to be especially organised, could just sit on sofa and watch films.
Now DD is 15 weeks and feeding much less often and I really look forward to her feeds - good excuse to put feet up and read book for half an hour! Lanisoh is brilliant and I found the breastfeeding café at the local children's centre v supportive too. Good luck!

I second kellymom.com
It's great for advice and I would read when I was at the end of my tether.

There will be days you feel you've done nothing but feed baby but that's ok. It won't last forever.
I remember when my PFB was about 6 weeks old I found myself out and about with her and myself all showered and made up. I looked at my watch and it was 10:30 and I couldn't believe it! My ass off the couch and early :)

Lansinoh! Make sure it's not cold or it doesn't work - my first baby was born in winter and I couldn't use the stuff - second time round in summer it was all gooey and worked brilliantly. And feed on demand - they're only tiny for a while.